I have this theory

needathrowawayplease · 2013-12-22T21:50:12+00:00

It's possibly a factor but I don't think it's a driving force.

The "bad boy"/"girls love assholes" meme is a misunderstanding of female attraction. Women are attracted to non-neediness, confidence, risk-taking, assertiveness, indifference and other value-displaying behavior.

Assholes often display many of these behaviors, but the "women love bad boys" cultural trope misunderstands and thinks that you have to be an asshole. That being mean is what attracts women rather than non-neediness, confidence, risk-taking, assertiveness, outcome-independence, etc.

It sounds like you don't quite see the distinction either.

I'd recommend reading these two blog posts: http://markmanson.net/power-in-vulnerability http://markmanson.net/the-fake-alpha-males

And if you enjoy them, keep reading Mark Manson.

HappyJerk · 2013-12-23T00:04:38+00:00

Why do women really find jerks/"bad boys" more attractive?

First of all, a "jerk" and a "bad boy" are 2 different things. A guy can be a "jerk" and not be a "bad boy" (i.e., a law-abiding investment banker with his life together that is a jerk) or a "bad boy" who isn't a jerk (i.e., a risk-taking thrill seeker who breaks the law often but is very nice to women)

Here is why women like "bad boys":

1) Women are naturally attracted to the "alpha male" of a tribe. There are a lot of definitions of what an alpha male is, but basically an alpha male is the dominant male in the group that the other males have to obey (probably because he can kick their ass). Because the alpha male dominates the other males, he can do whatever he wants and there are no constraints on his behavior (human genetics don't understand concepts like "law"). There is no such thing as a "true" alpha male in human society, because there are no men that truly dominate other men or are above the law. However, unfortunately, certain "bad boys" can trick women's biology into recognizing them as an "alpha male" because they don't follow anybody's rules and do whatever they want. If they are petty thieves, or regularly beat people up, or generally don't seem to "take any shit" the women's biology will think he is an "alpha male" even though logically he is the scum of society.

2) Women are attracted to men who are passionate about something other than women, and bad boys often fit the bill (for the wrong reasons) because they are often very emotionally volatile and passionate about stupid things (i.e., fuck the cops, maaan).

Here is why women like "jerks":

1) Our society has basically taught men that they need to supplicate to women to gain their affection. So a lot of what is called being "nice" is actually supplication, neediness, and desperation and what is considered "being an asshole" is just the guy acting normally.

2) Its in women's genes to "challenge" the man's power occasionally so they can determine if he truly is as "confident/alpha" as they want him to be. This is called a "shit test" and sometimes the only way to respond to a "shit test" is to be an "asshole."

3) Women like emotionally unavailable men because it makes it easier on them (they don't have to worry about whether he is happy or sad). Naturally, when you hang out with somebody who has no emotions towards you whatsoever, they will be a jerk to you occasionally. Women who have also been in a series of bad relationships like emotionally unavailable men because they want all the positives of a relationship (sex, protection, companionship) without bringing their emotions into it.

Bletz · 2013-12-22T23:20:46+00:00

The way it was explained to me was that women are attracted to masculinity.

Nice guys have been psychologically castrated and are effiminate, submissive man children.

Jerks are testosterone fueled men. Doesn't matter that they're assholes, or criminals, or treat people badly. They are very masculine and hence forth attractive.

[deleted] · 2013-12-22T22:02:30+00:00

Post hoc ergo propter hoc.

Assholes/jerks are more likely to have other traits that women find attractive (confidence, aloofness, outcome independence, dominant personality). The "asshole" part may give them an edge <- best case scenario, and by that I mean an asshole is likely more interesting to be around than a nice boring supplicator, who is 100% of the time predictible and unexciting.

shakaldrogo · 2013-12-22T21:26:54+00:00

Sounds quite plausible but it's always good to hear the counter-arguments & weigh them in as well. Good observation.

Edit: spelling

Demonspawn · 2013-12-23T04:09:45+00:00

Women have always been attracted to the leader, the alpha, and even the rogue bad guy. Always.

It's just that before women's suffrage changed our government to the point where women could get men's resources from men without having to keep the man's commitment by pleasing him, these men were big risks for the woman to pursue. Sure, the alpha guy would fuck her, but would he stick around to support her children? As such, the woman's rational brains would temper these drives and impulses such that only women with poor impulse control would actively pursue these men.

The rules have changed now, and the boundary case is the majority of women (boundary case: those who change behavior due to change of rules). Now the majority of women are seeking these previously alpha men (because even if they don't please him enough to secure his commitment, government will secure his resources for her). Only women who think they have no chance of attracting an alpha man or those with extremely high levels of impulse control are those who go after the provider men.

So the women of our society stop rewarding men who protect and provide and instead reward men who are not contributing to society, who are less stable, and who are more rebel like (anti-establishment). Men, of course, react by becoming those types of men to be rewarded. Social stability takes a nosedive and, well, welcome to the death-throes of western civilization. Enjoy the decline.

thebigspooner · 2013-12-23T01:58:09+00:00

Post this on /r/asktrp

There are many resources on this, and it is discussed quite frequently.

FortunateBum · 2013-12-27T01:11:11+00:00

I think it's almost proven at this point, scientifically, that women will usually lubricate if they think they're going to be raped. You can consider this a positive sexual response depending on your perspective.

Research shows that the richer (higher status) you are, the bigger jerk you will be. Women sexually respond to status. You act like you're high status and women respond sexually.

Title	I have this theory
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	9
Date	December 22, 2013 9:07 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1thclw/i_have_this_theory/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-have-this-theory.9138 https://theredarchive.com/post/9138

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