Always thought LMR was bullshit. How can a girl start having ASD when my hand is down in her pants? Especially including the fact that I never take girl home unless I've k-closed. Well.

Met a tourist girl in a bar. She is a 4. Fully covered in tattoos, piercings, has shaved hair. Typical mental problem chick. After an hour of chit-chat, she shows me her full chest tattoo. Says its a Mexican tattoo and a symbol that death is allright and that it happens all the time. This is her way of coping with the death of people close to her. So interesting, please keep on.. After couple more drinks, I lead her to my "closer" area with "let me show you amazing view over the city."

I k-close. Order a cab and we go to my place. Music is on and I have her on my bed. My hand is in her pants and I feel the bitch is dry as an old raisin. Fuck, I've been here before with my gf. "I'm just tired. My dog just died. I'm thinking about an exam tomorrow." All the bullshit reasons. But what can this chick possibly use as an excuse?

We just met. I'm at your place and this is so strange. It's not that I'm a virgin, but I just can't have sex.

Ahaha, I've heard this so many times. It's like a 5 year old claiming she's hungry just so that she doesn't have to go to bed. Almost every single girl has said this, but before k-close. This was different. I immediately recognized it was LMR and as the TRP advises, I withdrew attention. I even went a step further and said "I don't bring anyone home unless I truly feel a connection. But sure, let's have a cigarette and you can call the cab."

"Oh, can I put my favorite song?", she says. I know noone's gonna call the cab. Once her song is over, I put on Chan Chan by Buena Vista Social Club. "Let's dance." I can't dance for shit, but it makes it even more fun. Fifteen minutes later when we are on a couch, she spontaneously changes her testimony.

We just met. I'm at your place and this is so strange. It's not that I'm a virgin, but I just can't have unprotected sex.

This bitch. Who wants to fuck a mental ho without a condom anyways? Ten minutes later, after my "You are very smart for not having unprotected sex" speech, we are back in my bed. Time to get my dick torn off by an insane person. Yeah, no.

I've had bad sex before, but this one was THE starfish. After all this work and this bitch is the definition of starfish. I said fuck this retard and upgraded from slapping to almost borderline beating. I've never seen anyone enjoy being this abused. So I kept performing the exorcism.

In conclusion, I took her palm, put my balls in it and came on her Death acceptance tattoo.

LMR is real, and withdrawing attention works.