Hello everyone, I’ve been a reader for a couple of years now but this is my first post here, so its going to be quite lengthy. I appreciate anybody that takes the time to read my thoughts and reflections and hope that any questions or comments be asked no matter their nature. I truly value any and all insight.

Ok, pleasantries aside lets get started. I had quite a hectic upraising, my mother being the epitome of a hypergamic single mom. My dad could never leave his home town (who dat) and my mother dragged me all over the country and through several marriages, her and my father were never actually married. So long story short I was raised by a southern mom, fully abusing the system and the men that courted her, meanwhile teaching me to put the pussy on the pedestal. Per say, just to be clear (fuck you internet). I was fortunate with my genes, I’m tall, broad shouldered but was always a little overweight and had some man titties. This really crushed my confidence but I still always had girlfriends. Eventually I lost some weight and dropped from fat too “chunky”.

The problem was I did what mom taught me, I treated these women like angels and almost broke my back trying to do it. This behavior persisted mostly through high school, jumping from one serious relationship to another, afraid to have the seagull leave my island, not even knowing I was an island at the time. Deep down I knew this was wrong, but I could never put my finger on it. To make myself feel better I would cheat quite a bit in my earlier relationships. This was a great source of internal struggle because of my personality. I was raised to treat women better than myself, to find that perfect relationship, that perfect woman and get married. When I was 16, shortly after me and my girlfriend had both done it for the first time I sat my mom down on the couch and told her I was getting married.

I didn’t marry that girl, or any girl for that matter but this dangerous behavior persisted throughout high school and then through four years in the navy. I was a beta male, in good physical shape in the navy and I was despairing on the inside. I was successful, or at least on a good path however in my mind all I judged myself on was with who or if I was sleeping with someone. I had times of moderate success and terrible droughts in those years and it made me so unhappy. I remember one such draught where for months all I did was watch shitty romance movies on Netflix and self-wallow. The barracks are not a fucking joke, but neither are they an excuse. Then everything changed when I met my ex-fiancé. She was half-Dominican half white, a solid HB9. I met her at a bar while I was on my first cycle of juice. So I was fucking huge, and drunk so my testosterone literally pulled this girl for me as I remember just having the best responses to everything she said. At the time she happened to be in between jobs and apartments, she had recently broken up with her ex.

So I took this chick home and she literally never left for the next two months. At the time I was living off base in the equivalent of a navy frat house in San Diego. What does that mean? 5-8 sailors always there in a 3 bedroom home. Did she fuck any of my roomies at that time? Doubtful, like I said I was on cycle and for those two months this chick was basically my fuckdoll, 4-7 times a day easily. So naturally, I got us our own place when I was fedup of my living situation. Then I got off cycle. Basically my testosterone went from 100 to 0 like real quick and I went from blowing this chick out all day to not even really thinking about sex and trying to get to gold on league like it was my job. This greatly affected our relationship, four months in. To try and save it I proposed. We started fighting all the time, I kept throwing money into the relationship, hoping if I made It cost enough I would have but no choice to stick to it because this chick had to be the one for me. We had had such passion in the beginning (my thoughts at the time, It took TRP for me to realize what had really happened.)

Then I found out she was married to another sailor who lived in Florida. I knew she had been married but when I proposed she told me she “techniquely still was, I thought I submitted the divorce paperwork. I haven’t seen him in years though.” I am so ashamed to admit it, but I looked past this, threw more money at her and her problems and ignored my natural instincts. Eventually everything erupted, and I broke up with her.

All in all, she set me back over 10g. After that, I didn’t give a shit about women. I hadn’t discovered TRP yet, but it wasn’t hard for me to be an ass. Several months of this and not much success I meet a girl on tinder. Not that I was meeting a bunch of chicks but I was meeting some, so I justified to myself that this one was the best I could possibly get. She was a good girl, the polar opposite of my crazy sexual ex.

I got out of the navy, moved back home to phoenix and stayed in a long-distance relationship for 8 months while I did culinary school so I could go help my mom’s cousin with their restaurant. We moved in together and I knew that this girl wasn’t the one. Once again, I was freshly 23 at this point I had invested in the wrong woman. I felt exasperated, everyone else was getting married and having kids, I wanted to be on that team, or so social conditioning told me. Internally my body is screaming for me to spread my seed, so every country can have a resident of my spawn. Then I made the best decision of my life. I invited my old high school buddy who had joined the army and was also fresh out to join me in the food industry. Because of the remote location (coastal resort town) there were not a lot of housing options, so he moved in with me and my girl. I think you can guess what happened from there. I broke up with her, sent her ass back home to her mom and started my journey down the rabbit hole. In the following year I would have sex only twice with the same girl. Mind you she was hot as fuck but still that was way less then I ever want to experience again.

However, during that time I learned a lot about myself. That time of solitude and TRP awareness allowed me to truly reflect on my life and think critically about my experiences with not only just women but in everything. That’s what is so great about TRP and I feel is so misunderstood, sure it can help you get laid but the philosophy is one that if applied in some degree to all aspects of life will benefit you greatly.

I remember the initial feeling, like waking up from a dream and seeing the world for the first time, I was ecstatic. I tried to spread the word, but just like my friend warned people didn’t want to listen. I was angry and confused on how to feel about my mother. I was excited to try these new techniques with women, but I was still being held back by the same things that had plagued me my entire life. The biggest problem I experienced, being a pushover. If society rams anything up your ass its bend to your peers. Fuck that and fuck you, (just kidding, if you’re still here I greatly appreciate it). TRP taught me not just how to handle women but it opened my mind to the possibility that I don’t need to do everything I was told. This habit definitely a heavy side affect of the military but also me being a giant vagina cannot also be understated.

That year of drought, with a temporary reprieve, I focused completely on myself. I read the values of TRP and after a couple months I started to expand my knowledge. Shortly after reading The Rational Male (which was the catalyst for my understanding of TRP) I read the 48 laws of power(2). These books helped greatly on my personal insight and helped me realize that; hey, now that I got rid of my shit relationship its time to get rid of my shit job. Just like in my relationships with women, my cousin who had done 20 yrs AF was fucking me. There was a reason I got out of the Navy. I finally learnt that I was in charge of my own happiness.

Being a Vet is like having cheat codes for life and I highly recommend anyone that feels lost and needs direction or knows they need to mature to join. Anyways, the GI Bill really helps you be flexible and try other options so I said fuck being a cook, I am going to pursue my passion, what makes me happy. So now im in flight school. At first my family was mad like I feared then they realized how dope that is and got over it. Even if they didn’t, I wouldn’t have cared. The person that tries so hard to cater to everyone’s feelings is dead.

Though I did learn a lot in that first year of TRP, it was mostly just getting to understand the basics. The second year, I took off my crutches and began to run.

What the fuck does that mean? Good question. Basically I stopped just sitting around thinking about TRP and I go out and do stuff. At first it was all targeted towards women. I stopped fucking everything I could once I got out of the Navy and stopped drinking so much. Now I am selective, 7’s or above. I quickly learned that once you actually grow a set of balls and start interacting with women you start to learn very quickly. It wasn’t long before the thrill of interacting with women became my favorite thing to do. I signed up for dance classes, went out every night I could and met a lot of people.

So before I get lost in another point let me reiterate what I’ve been talking at you about. In my life there have been several things that I have identified as problems and recently have been convicted to change about myself. No longer do I buy into “that’s just the why I am”. I have lost the bitch tits that plagued me almost my entire life. This in itself was crucial to my confidence booming. I had always been muscular and strong, but I was husky. Losing that weight literally changed the game for me. If you haven’t looked into fasting check it out.

I stopped watching porn, I completely erased the history on my computer and blocked the sites I would use. I deleted all those bull shit dating apps. You know why? Because it’s a giant fucking crutch! My only source of getting off now is the good old fashion way of plowing your mom. (woah, I didn’t write that) and has been for the past three months. Sure the first week is hard but eventually you stop giving a shit about anything because you’re pretty sure that tree is giving you the eye. I started off small, I made it my goal to talk to at least one random girl a day in some way. After two weeks of this I was approaching women all the time. Its literally like a curtain being pulled back from in front of you when you realized that one persons opinion about you doesn’t matter because there are billions of other people out there.

If you remove your buffers, your crutches, you have but no choice to walk and go forward or fall and be that dude on the ground. Well fuck that dude, that dude gets stepped on by everyone else. Stop being that guy, stop holding yourself back. Don’t be the guy that does whatever he’s told. Be selective about your words and your actions. Above all, learn how to be content with yourself, stop looking for happiness in other people.

As a final thought, something that has greatly helped me in my understanding of TRP was the book, “How to make friends and Influence people”, I feel as if this book really helped round out my red pill thoughts and give me even more insight on how people work. It wasn’t until I read this book that I understood why there was a question of morality when it came too TRP. Ok well, thanks for reading, Happy Thanksgiving!

TL;DR Stop watching porn, delete tinder, force yourself to interact with women and other people. Remove the things in your life that inhibit your success. Don’t be cloth in a wind, stick to your thoughts and beliefs. You are a dynamic person and can change, you just need to do it. GO SAINTS!