Summary: Fairly regularly on both TRP and askTRP I see guys asking about getting back with their ex or how to get back at their ex. I unfortunately stumbled into this trap and I am here to tell you it is just not worth it. The revenged fantasy may sound good in your head but it is never as good as you remember.

Body: Slight back story, but I am in the military so I am gone a lot. Whether it be short trips for certain exercises (play war) or deployments which usually last anywhere from 6 to 7 months, there is always something going on in my life.

My first deployment a few years ago was an eye opening experience. Before I left I had been trying like hell to get with this girl from back home (LDR don’t work BTW but this was my pre-TRP days) who we’ll call Ashley. Ashley was a HB8 by my standards, 5’6, 125lbs, Latina and had one of the fattest asses I had ever seen. We had talked a little bit before I left but she had a boyfriend and I just didn’t feel like wasting my time talking to a girl with a boyfriend. So one day after getting destroyed at work; where it would often get to 135+ degrees, I came home to seeing a Facebook message saying “Hey its Ashley, the girl from back home.” Long story short we talked a ton over my tour over there and sure enough when I got home I went to go see her (one of many beta mistakes I made) and we became a couple. It was fun at first but after a year and a half of only seeing her once every 3 months I ended it. Now it’s important to note that I am the only guy that’s ever broken up with her. She’s one of those types who always had a BF (Red flag I should have seen).

Now we broke up but she would contact me at semi regular intervals, generally on holidays trying to keep me as an orbiter. I never really fell into the orbiter position for her because I was busy chasing girls that weren’t on the other side of the country but I always had thought it’d be nice to see her again. Boy was I wrong.

Shortly after I discovered TRP she messaged me saying she was going to be coming to a city very close to me for some sort of internship. I knew she wanted me to come see her but she played it off as she just wanted me to know that she had succeeded with school, Rightttttt. I was going down to this city to visit my brother who lived down there so I said why not, actively keeping TRP teaching s in the back of my mind.

When I first pick her up and take her back to the hotel I was staying at she is constantly complaining about how I’ve “changed.” I didn’t say much, would always tease her, never held the door open for her, etc. We fucked within 20 minutes of being back in my room despite her feigned displeasure with my change but the entire time I just had this overwhelming feeling of how this was not as good I as had remembered. There was no spark there anymore and it just wasn’t enjoyable, but I was there so I might as well try to enjoy myself. The amount of shit tests and just straight up bitchiness I had to put up with was just not worth it. Literally, the crying about my “change” just never stopped and she constantly would say she likes nice guys not assholes, even though she just took my load to the face. All of this was also complimented with that fact that she still had a boyfriend back home that she had been with for almost 3 years (AWALT).

I saw her again the next day but at that point I had just gotten fed up with her constant complaining (She actually thought me coming down to fuck her meant I wanted to get back together) about how I am a completely different person so I kicked her out of my car and went and hung out with my brother for the rest of the time I was down there.

Lessons Learned: Exes are just that, Exes. It will never ever be as good as you remember. It’s just better to hard next and search for greener pastures. She was a constant reminder of the lesser male I was many years ago someone who I never wanted to regress back to. While it may be attractive to think, I’m going to show this girl from my past how awesome the new me is, I am telling you from experience to put that energy into lifting and approaching new girls.