Summary: A guy gets sent out deployment, comes back to find out his wife been sleeping with his friend intentionally trying to get pregnant. He's sure it's not his, asks for paternity test and she laughs, he divorces and is shamed by her family / his to accept responsibility for the kid despite pleading his case. He then does only thing he knows and gtfo's.

"I came back from a tour to find out my wife was pregnant. I was 99% sure it wasn't mine because things were rocky for months before I deployed (dead bedroom). I straight up asked her about it. She started off being defensive and accusatory but eventually she told me that ok, she had been sleeping with a "friend" of mine while I was gone with the intent of getting pregnant. I asked for a test and she laughed at me which was enough proof for me. I filed for divorce and she delayed. She also let her friends and family in on it but said I was leaving her because I didn't want to raise my child. It got to my family as well and despite explaining the situation they said they would disown me if I left her. They even tried using the PTSD talk that was in the news about military in general against me, as if my background meant I was "touched" and should just accept being trapped by someone I used to love. I was stressed but I am not an idiot. Not long after I just grabbed what I could as fast as I could and left. If I ever go back I'll face criminal charges because I am being held legally responsible for a life that can not possibly belong to me. There is still no test and at this point I would not be surprised if one had been produced and tampered to empower the lie. I am thinking it will catch up to me one day, but until then I am living relatively OK elsewhere. It is not right, what she did, and I refuse to kneel. I would sooner die or have my legs broken to force surrender than willingly support a woman who attempted to get me to raise a kid that was a result of her own bullshit. She may get me eventually, but by then it'll be too late. She is not getting the payout she planned on, instead she is raising a kid alone (though I left her with a nice sob story obviously) and if/when the sword finally comes down it'll just be so she can feel like she finally "got" me. She pointlessly ruined both our lives with this crap (I would've given her a kid on return, I just didn't want to impregnate her and then die and leave my unborn child fatherless) and I am never going to forgive her for that."

Lessons learned:

  • always get a paternity test, despite how sure you are that you are the father get a test because it's super cheap on amazon and not hard to do. I don't buy into the collective delusion of "just trust your woman". When it comes to paying for a kid for 18 years I want to be sure it's mine. You wouldn't have people telling a guy doing a business deal to just blindly trust the contract without reading over it first.