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battery_licker Archive

View 0 posts and 54 comments by battery_licker on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

When I said "sexual attractiveness", frame is a huge part of that, but yeah.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/15 12:02 PM
7

This reminds me of a saying (don't remember where I heard it): "Being sexually attractive is a moral good." By satisfying your wife's hypergamous impulses through your ongoing sexual attractiveness, you are able to provide the ideal environment for your children's growth. Without that attractiveness, your children are likely to be harmed in very real, tangible ways. The further down the rabbit hole I go in taking the red pill, the more surprising the insights become. Is there any aspect of life …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/15 03:40 AM
19

The biggest examples of female solipsism are at the society level. Tons of magazines and books tell women to act like men when pursuing men, because women don't understand that men have different preferences than women. My favorite example is how women complain about physical standards for women, when in reality, the physical standards for men are much more strict than the physical standards for women. This is because they know how strict their physical standards are for men, and assume that men…
/r/TheRedPill09/09/15 06:46 PM
5

You're just not feeling like that or interested in sharing moments like that with someone who isn't intimate with you. She has to figure that one out. I think this is the most important part. OP needs to make sure that it's implicit rather than explicit. If he comes out and says he's not in the mood for cuddling without sex she'll think it's whining. If she connects the dots herself she's much more likely to respond appropriately.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/15 07:39 PM
1

I think I experienced a similar anger to what you're describing. Why was she treating me so much worse than I deserved? Why didn't she appreciate the sacrifices I made for her? What helped me (a lot) was learning as much as I could about women's nature. I read all of the Rational Male blog and books. I also read a bunch of Chateau Heartiste and Dalrock. As I was reading I put extra effort into seeing how the theory I was learning applied to my wife. I realized that my wife's behavior wasn't unus…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/15 05:22 PM
41

Classic story. The biggest lesson I took from it: If you ask women to value you for provisioning, they will only value you for provisioning.
/r/TheRedPill30/06/15 11:47 PM
1

Yes, the female mid-life crisis usually manifests as trying to get as much strange dick as possible, usually to "make up" for not experiencing the Party Phase to her satisfaction. Unsurprisingly, Rollo has written about that too.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/15 05:04 PM
15

First of all, there's no such thing as a mid-life crisis. The concept was made up to shame men for doing things that benefit themselves but don't benefit women. As far as what goes on with men who are having a "mid-life crisis", it's about realizing that you finally have the ability to do things you've always wanted but felt you couldn't. Taking the red pill is also a realization, but a different kind. It's the realization that the things you were told about how to succeed with women are all fal…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/15 12:11 PM
2

The rule of thumb around here is that you have to put in one month of doing things right for every year you were doing things wrong before. So that's going to be a lot of work. And I don't think you can really say whether she will accept the new you until you get closer to that timeframe. More importantly, only you can say whether that amount of work will be worth it to save this marriage, even if you assume she will accept the changes you make.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/15 02:52 AM
2

Your description of her statement about having to cum at the same time reminds me of the classic TRP post Women will break the rules for men that turn them on and create rules for men they don't respect. That's not to say that she necessarily doesn't respect you or that you don't turn her on--after all, it's a spectrum. I do believe, however, that the solution to this particular problem is as simple as increasing your SMV. I know that's a predictable response, but it seems correct to me. I actua…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/15 12:19 AM
2

Maybe you left out some details, but from my reading, you didn't do anything to get her aroused before you started having sex. I think that's your problem. You have to get her in the mood first or else she isn't going to be enthusiastic the way you want.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/15 08:13 PM
12

Talking less to your wife about your feelings This has turned out to be so much more important than I expected when I started unplugging. Once I finally accepted the fact that she does not, and would never, give a shit about my feelings, and that that's okay, I started making real progress. As a husband, it's your job to be the rock for your wife's storms; as a wife, it's never her job to be the rock for your storms. Don't wait until you look like Brad Pitt from Fight Club to act like Brad Pitt …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/15 02:39 PM
6

I've talked before on this sub about how willpower is a muscle. Holding frame takes willpower, and just like other muscles, your willpower gets tired if you use a lot of it without rest. It's not realistic to think that you can hold frame 100% of the time, if you haven't worked extremely hard at it for a long period of time. In my opinion, there are two things to work on if you're trying to get closer to that mythical "100% frame". The first is to learn to recognize when you're feeling your will…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/15 05:37 PM
7

Guys, give me some words of advise for the way back up from this shit-hole. I lift and watch my diet. I have money that would last me a couple of years, have hobbies. Having a relationship with a woman is like playing poker. Even if you play the game perfectly, you're always taking a calculated risk. You can't guarantee a woman won't cheat on you, no matter what you do. You're doing all the right things. You're cutting her off completely, and focusing on what you can change. Just stay on the pat…
/r/TheRedPill25/06/15 02:15 AM
2

My best guess (we need more details!) is that this episode was her clumsy attempt at giving you the I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You talk as described in Married Man Sex Life Primer (see the sidebar). I really like this (looking at my body), but I'm not attracted to you. The second part is pretty simple: she's not attracted to you (though you probably already knew this). The first part about "liking" your body is her hamster trying to make sense of why she wouldn't be attracted to you eve…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/15 01:04 AM
1

Any plan to transcribe these? I learn better by reading than listening.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/15 10:16 PM
3

When I read your post it seemed like you were describing my wife. As I've been implementing MRP changes (almost a year now) the shit tests have gradually decreased to the point of being almost non-existent. It's easy to miss that fact until I look back at her behavior a year ago and realize the difference is night and day. As for the theory, there are two main reasons why shit testing stops. The first is because she's lost interest in you entirely. That's obviously not the case here. The second …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/15 08:03 PM
32

Here's some analysis, which has a link to the original study. http://markmanson.net/forum/Thread-Correlation-between-successful-marriage-and-sex-experience
/r/TheRedPill24/06/15 04:01 PM
127

Women who have rode the carousel have built up tolerance to the powerful chemicals released during sex, rendering those chemicals powerless. Those chemicals normally bind a woman emotionally to the man she's having sex with; if they don't work anymore, it's quite literally impossible for that woman to form a deep, committed emotional bond with a man. Of course, men will be fine. We'll find another woman who hasn't broken her body's normal functioning, if we want a long term relationship at all. …
/r/TheRedPill24/06/15 03:06 PM
47

As my dad used to say: Buy a plunger before you need to use a plunger. Get your hair cut before you look like you need a haircut. End a date before it feels like the date is over.
/r/TheRedPill24/06/15 02:11 PM
106

This is a good reminder that last minute resistance is a woman talking to herself, not to you. Like with anything else, pay attention to her behavior and not her words.
/r/TheRedPill23/06/15 01:06 PM
3

I had a similar experience to OP, and this was exactly the reason why. In fact, my wife's favorite sex is the kind where she (playfully) resists everything I do. Though when she first started doing it it didn't look at all like she was being playful. I second the recommendation about a safe word. Having one is really the only way to know for sure whether she is actually resisting or if she just wants to increase the intensity of getting dominated.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 12:07 PM
1

I doubt many women of the time understood this, but the only real control men had (and still have now) over women’s breeding and birthing outcomes was now grounded in the psychological (Game) or the physical (arousal). This is very important for us married men. With no effective legal or social checks on women's behavior, Game is the only way to keep a wife loyal. Hypergamy dictates that if you are anything less than her best sexual option right now, she is very likely to be disloyal. You must c…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 02:38 AM
2

The Dad Bod meme is (among other things) a society-level shit test. It will make it easier for women to filter out the men who take what women say at face value, from the men who "just get it."
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 02:18 AM
3

They have mail-in paternity tests these days. Some of them can even use swabbed saliva. That's my plan.
/r/TheRedPill23/06/15 01:20 AM
5

It's all hormones. When a woman is in her fertile period, if you don't ogle her you must be gay. When she's in her non-fertile part of the cycle, if you look at her you're obviously a shitlord.
/r/TheRedPill23/06/15 01:00 AM
6

If I ever have children, I'll be getting a paternity test, regardless of circumstances. The mother will only know about it if the child isn't mine. I just hope it'll still be legal to do that by the time I have children.
/r/TheRedPill23/06/15 12:57 AM
2

Once you get experienced in dealing with shit tests, it actually becomes pretty fun. Then when you start treating them like flirting, it becomes a lot of fun.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 12:47 AM
2

I'll refer you to Romance Isn't Foreplay and the classic Be A Skittles Man. The first article has an interesting piece of advice--if you're going to do any romantic gestures, make it right after sex, not before. It'll be better received that way. Of course, the most important thing about all this is to make it look like you didn't plan it out beforehand, as women love spontaneous romance but hate planned romance. In my opinion, the best way to do it is to actually avoid planning many details in …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/15 11:01 PM
1

I would be incredibly careful about this if I were you. Rollo and Heartiste both talk about the fact that women do not appreciate romance, especially if it is clearly planned in advance. Don't be surprised if you plan a thoughtful, romantic trip only to be let disappointed when she doesn't appreciate the obvious effort that went into it.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/15 09:43 PM
2

In that case, I suggest that, as you are doing all the standard MRP things (read, lift, etc) you experiment to see if you can find one or more techniques that reliably put her in the mood for sex. Keep notes on what you've tried, and review your notes periodically to better understand her sexual response.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/15 08:19 PM
1

First, it's clear from her behavior that she doesn't yet respect you. She wouldn't want to bring you down if she looked up to you. It'll take time to fix that, but it will get better slowly if you continue to improve. Second, you say that you "won't tolerate" her disrespect, but from your post it seems like you are tolerating it--in fact, you're rewarding her with arguments that she seems to enjoy quite a lot. You need to begin quickly punishing bad behavior. The default MRP punishment is to sto…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/15 06:52 PM
2

Can you expand on your statement that she "genuinely doesn't get horny"? Has this always been the case or has this developed over time?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/15 05:55 PM
4

I've had some success getting my wife to initiate more often. I paid a lot of attention to what I said or did right before times when she was genuinely horny. In my case, that was physical stuff. If I pick her up or she sees me working out, she quite frequently initiates sex shortly after. So my question to you, OP, is: do you know what gets your wife horny? If you can name a handful of techniques that have a high success rate of getting her in the mood, you can focus on doing those things and s…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/15 05:10 PM
2

You're so close to getting it right that it's painful, so keep it up. Your issue with this test was that you responded in an OVERT way, rather than a COVERT way. By saying, "You don't want me to be a nice guy," you're ruining the game for her, because there's nothing she can say--obviously she knows she doesn't want you to be a nice guy. To respond to this in a covert way, you use Agree & Amplify. Say something like (not necessarily these exact words) "I'm a nice guy--I'm the nicest guy on Earth…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/15 01:58 AM
1

Your post is quite vague, so the advice I give you might not be applicable to your actual situation. As far as goals, you generally want to get those out in the open. If you're expecting her to support your goals but she isn't sure what those goals are, you have a classic Covert Contract. That being said, you're new to all this and generally you don't want to have a "Now you listen here, this is the way it's gonna be!" conversation. You want to follow the timeline in the classic MRP post 12 Stag…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/15 08:45 PM
12

I'll second the recommendation for Sex God Method. My wife was always very inhibited sexually, saying "no" or "stop" every time I tried to do anything new. Then I read the book as I was unplugging and realized I wasn't being dominant enough. The first time I ignored her protests and took her caveman style, she said, "I've been waiting this whole time for you to do that!" Her protests were her way of trying to get me to dominate her. Go figure.
/r/TheRedPill21/06/15 08:12 PM
43

My biggest regret in life so far was refusing to listen to my father's woman advice when I was in high school. Turns out the old man is incredibly red pill without knowing it's a "thing". I could have had such a head start if I had shut my stupid mouth and listened to him once in a while.
/r/TheRedPill21/06/15 05:42 PM
8

My first reaction (granted, on not a lot of data) is simply that sex "satisfies" her for a day or so, and as a result she's just not horny so she doesn't feel a need to do the things that normally lead to sex. My wife is actually somewhat similar. After we have sex it's "no more s'mores" for about 24 hours. Then it wears off and everything is normal again. The fact that she isn't turning you down on the "off" days suggests to me that it isn't any type of test. But it probably does warrant contin…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/15 09:27 PM
8

I agree that this answer to the initial shit test is the ideal one. OP, keep in mind the attempts to get you to apologize are more shit tests. You don't need to escalate things in your responses to these tests; just continue to use Amused Mastery and Agree & Amplify and you'll be fine. It's basically a child's tantrum at this point--it's more important now than ever not to give in because that would tell her tantrums work as long as they last long enough.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/15 07:49 PM
3

Does anyone have any sources (or personal experiences) to indicate that the female sexual response legitimately changes in some way after having children? I've never seen any information to indicate it's not just a convenient excuse, which would suggest post-child game is exactly the same as pre-child game.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/15 12:29 AM
1

My own progress came mostly through my own observations, watching people interact and always thinking about it in the context of a rule based system. Though I didn't use it much myself, I can recommend Improve Your Social Skills. It does occasionally veer into BP thinking, but it has a wealth of information that's very helpful if you're careful to filter it through an RP lens. Of course, the best resource is the lists of TRP and MRP approved readings.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/15 03:41 PM
3

Explicitly stating it really is important. If a man expects his wife to stay in shape, but doesn't make it clear he expects it, that's just another covert contract.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/15 12:17 PM
3

I started studying social skills as a rule-based system (like one would study mathematics or computer programming). Once I learned the rules of the system I started applying them and doing much better socially. An introvert is someone who has less energy after socializing; an extrovert is someone who has more energy after socializing. After I learned to socialize effectively I noticed that suddenly socializing was invigorating to me rather than draining--ergo, I'm actually an extrovert. I had be…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/15 04:03 AM
2

While this is a classic post, keep in mind that, in general, you don't want to force a "main event" yourself. Or, as /u/BluepillProfessor says, "Go slow and don't be schizophrenic." Tension is likely to rise when you start unplugging (even if you're doing it right), but blow-ups on the wife's part are frequently (though not always) indicators that you're making too many changes, too quickly. Ideally, she'll recognize that she's more attracted to you before she notices any overt behavioral change…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/15 02:27 AM
3

Exactly. The hard part is, men usually think scolding failure to work out will get results because that works with men (male solipsism). At least in my experience, that simply doesn't work with women.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/15 12:14 AM
1

All through high school and college I thought I was an introvert. Then I found RP, made some changes, and learned I had been an extrovert all along--I just had terrible social skills the whole time and labeling myself an introvert was a buffer to avoid social rejection. Since I've swallowed the pill, I've learned that most of what I thought were innate weaknesses were just areas of learned helplessness. (Edit: typo)
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/15 11:19 PM
3

I've had good success getting my wife to get in better shape. It wasn't dread per se that did it, though I'm sure that helped. What worked for me (disclaimer: might not work for you) was me explicitly stating her fitness was one of my expectations for her behavior. I also dropped the bullshit about "it's not for me, it's for you". I actually made all of my expectations clear (in writing, no less) and her behavior in all areas, including fitness, greatly improved. Whether this works for you depen…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/15 08:15 PM
5

My rule for whether I'm going to stay or go is, do I feel close to losing frame? You have a limited amount of willpower, so if you've used it all up dealing with bullshit at work, you have none left to deal with bullshit at home. Of course, dealing with her bullshit correctly earns you points in proportion to the intensity of her bullshit. Losing frame when dealing with her bullshit loses points. So if I'm feeling like I can handle it correctly, I'll stick around and earn the points. I only leav…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/15 03:20 AM
4

Great work! This is a good example of the MRP maxim that "a shit test is a wife's way of flirting". Judging by her behavior, her "I'm tired and not doing that" was a covert way of communicating "I might do that but I need you to be masculine and turn me on first!" It would be easy to completely miss that, but you didn't and hit it out of the park, so you should be proud of that (now just don't get complacent).
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/15 01:57 PM
8

The most effective way I've seen for a girl to "ask out" a guy is to make a non-specific, open-ended invitation. You steer the conversation toward some activity that you would like to do, then say (basically) "we should do that sometime". Example: you both like craft beer (or some similar interest). You talk about a craft beer place in town and you just say, "That sounds fun. We should go there sometime!" Because it's not specific, you're not "taking charge" of the situation, and you stay femini…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/15 03:58 PM
3

This is a great opportunity for Agree & Amplify. "Yeah, if I hear the number I might hyperventilate and pass out!" If you're not yet comfortable with doing Agree & Amplify with other people around you can go more simple: "I'm a big boy, I think I can handle it." Either way, your non-verbal communication is more important than what you actually say. Your facial expression should communicate Amused Mastery--you're amused at how silly they are to get so worked up about something so trivial.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/15 04:33 PM
1

I wasn't very clear. I'm NOT saying to not initiate. I'm saying the determining factor is her arousal, which in general is unrelated to how hard you're pushing for sex. If you focus your effort on learning what arouses her and then doing those things, you'll be more successful than if you focus on how hard or how often you initiate sex.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/15 02:53 PM
1

Whether you're pushing for sex with the right level of intensity is the wrong thing to focus on. The right thing to focus on is her sexual arousal. As others have said, increasing your SMV is essential. You also need to be an expert on female sexual arousal in general (MMSL and Rational Male will help) and her sexual arousal in particular (nothing can help you with that; you'll just need to figure that out by experimentation).
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/15 02:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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