How to stop the anger phase

dandar4600 · 2015-07-01T14:53:29+00:00

Anger phase can be a bitch. It's part of unplugging. Know that it will pass. Having said that, whenever you start feeling anger be mindful that part of it is because you are in the process of unplugging. Shut the fuck up and go do something productive. Best bet is go lift some weights or do some pushups. Shut the fuck up and let out some pent up energy.

TrainingTheBrain · 2015-07-01T14:01:11+00:00

What is it specifically that you're mad at?

I'd recommend The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius as it helped me understand how to stop making everything be under my control and to accept that shit just happens and to suck it the fuck up and just enjoy the moment.

MRP leads to Optimal Existence if you apply the concepts. Frame, OI, accepting that you are alone. Once this shit settle in deeply, nothing can faze you.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-07-01T15:41:36+00:00

I have always believed that much of the anger in the anger phase is at yourself.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-01T17:23:47+00:00

I feel like i am spamming this but i think it is relevent to you. this video helped me release the anger.

this man died and was brought back after being hit head on by a drunk driver. He was told he would never walk again. His anger phase was real and genuine but he allowed himself 5 minutes of anger before moving on. He walked 3 weeks later.

thezaxxon1982 · 2015-07-01T18:41:17+00:00

What you're describing isn't the anger phase. You're having AFC anger as a result of a total lack of OI and a serious loss of frame when things didn't go the way you wanted. I'm somewhat reading between the lines here, but it sounds like you had a pretty weak frame from the start if you let a text about plans (plans!) derail your night and result in a fight 45 minutes later. You say you chose not to re-initiate, but if you resent your own choice, as you say you do, you have no OI.

The kind of anger you're having will go away when you stop creating it. Blaming RP "Anger Phase" for your BP butthurtness when you lose frame is one way to ensure you'll feel like this forever.

theultmatecad · 2015-07-01T15:54:49+00:00

I think you are confused. The anger phase is when you first unplug and are angry about the lies you were told about how women are your friends and won't hurt you. How you are special and all that shit.

The anger you describe is straight up bluepill. No way I can sign off on it as anything else.

kogsworth · 2015-07-01T14:03:29+00:00

My 2 cents: Your anger is about you, not about her. You need to have different expectations and learn how to hold your frame. Sounds like you simply don't know what to do when she does something contrary to what you would want. It's not about her following badly, it's about you not leading properly.
Whenever you start getting angry, act like you're passing a shit test. Agree and amplify, or make a joke of it, or a thousand other things that will show her that your mood is not based on her behaviour but that you decide how you feel. Don't wish the world was different, wish you were better ;) Good luck my friend, women are not worth your anger!

battery_licker · 2015-07-01T17:22:34+00:00

I think I experienced a similar anger to what you're describing. Why was she treating me so much worse than I deserved? Why didn't she appreciate the sacrifices I made for her?

What helped me (a lot) was learning as much as I could about women's nature. I read all of the Rational Male blog and books. I also read a bunch of Chateau Heartiste and Dalrock. As I was reading I put extra effort into seeing how the theory I was learning applied to my wife.

I realized that my wife's behavior wasn't unusual for a woman in her position. I was angry because I was comparing her behavior to that of some mythical "good" woman, which I realized simply doesn't exist.

Once I understood why she acted the way she did, my anger at her quickly faded away. How could I expect more of her than she was capable of? More importantly, I learned to manage her actual behavior rather than wishing she behaved differently.

There's a proverb I heard once. "The successful man focuses on things as they are. The unsuccessful man focuses on things as they should be." When I decided to be the "successful man" as described in the proverb, I finally got out of my anger phase.

I hope that helps you.

[deleted] · 2015-07-01T17:28:21+00:00

You choose to be angry.

When someone cuts you off in traffic, you could react in any number of ways. You could choose to be angry or you could choose not to care or you could choose to laugh at it.

Getting angry at someone that cuts you off has zero effect on them. You are the only person that has to pay the cost of getting angry, so in effect you are punishing yourself. If you are in a bad mood all day, do you think that the driver that cut you off feels bad?

Anger is generally a useless emotion that only serves to make shitty decisions and wreck your piece of mind. Even if your anger is justified and a reaction is warranted, you'll retaliate much more effectively if you aren't angry.

Practice changing your reaction to the things that make you angry.

RBuddDwyer · 2015-07-01T18:35:42+00:00

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.”

Maya Angelou

SorcererKing · 2015-07-01T21:45:03+00:00

I have to agree with the others who say this doesn't sound life the typical Anger Phase. But, see this link and see if it helps.

Scurvemuch · 2015-07-02T15:45:09+00:00

Just a thought,

the most difficult thing for a lot of people to swallow is that you are alone

I am having a very hard time with this.

In my case I have heard this from my father a lot, but in practice I see that he is not alone because he chose well.

I am providing my own example as a reference. What is it in your experience that leads you to inherently expect fairness and support and love/ respect from your spouse?

death_glider · 2015-07-01T14:01:28+00:00

What are you so angry about that you can't stop being angry at her?

Title	How to stop the anger phase
Author	MarriedAsFuck
Upvotes	3
Comments	21
Date	July 1, 2015 1:56 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3br46j/how_to_stop_the_anger_phase/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/how-to-stop-the-anger-phase.201573 https://theredarchive.com/post/201573

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