Mentor Needed

KublerRossWasWrong · 2013-12-02T14:56:28+00:00

Having a--or a few--good mentor(s) is a critical key in advancing your career. It's good that you recognize this and are taking action now. The majority of young, fresh-out-of-college folks I interact with have no idea what they're doing, what is possible, or how to leverage skills and relationships...or why those things are even important. You're in the minority; congratulations!

Here are a few criteria and concepts I share with my staff when they start down the mentor/mentee path:

Understand why you want a mentor or coach. No, really; sit down and spend some time thinking about two things. The first one is "what do I hope to learn from a mentor?" The second one is "what can I offer, or what do I bring to the table as a mentee?" You have to have this very clearly and simply defined. Think of it as writing a mission statement for the mentor/mentee relationship.
Make sure that your reasons for pursuing a particular mentor are in alignment with your overall goal(s). If your primary goal is to advance your career in astrophysics, there's probably not a lot of value in spending your time with a mentor who has a background in restaurant management. Likewise, if you yearn to be an entrepreneur, studying at the knee of an Electrical Engineer might not be the best choice.
Develop and practice your pitch. This is two parts, as well. First, you need to be able to quickly convey to potential mentor candidates three things: your objective in pursuing a mentor, what you offer in return, The Plan. For this first part, work this into a 30 second or so "elevator speech." Always be polishing and refining this. Second, you will do well to have a document outlining the purpose, the offering and The Plan. This doesn't have to be a multi-page Word file; maybe a paragraph for each piece. Something you can cut and paste into an email by way of follow-up, after successfully delivering your elevator speech, right?
Listen. As Epictetus said, "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak." Presumably you're seeking a mentor because you have identified a gap in your experience, skills or knowledge. Your mentor is--hopefully!--going to help you bridge that gap. Listen to what he or she has to say. Be objective; if you don't understand their counsel, ask clarifying questions. Why do they think you should pursue that course of action? Who might you work with on this next step? Do not dismiss their guidance out of hand; it is offensive and a waste of everyone's time.
Lastly, a jumble of unrelated, miscellaneous thoughts. Have fun; the mentor/mentee relationship should not be all business, all the time. Understand and internalize that the most important product of a mentor/mentee relationship is, well, the relationship; you may be meeting to get coaching or problem-solving input, but the bond you forge will be more important over time than anything else. Set a regular, recurring meeting time and stick to it, even if you have very little or nothing on the actual agenda; see the previous item as to why. When developing a pool of potential mentor candidates, definitely look outside of your current work group, function, team or whatever; consider looking outside of your company entirely. Is there someone you are personally or informally (i.e., not professionally) connected to who has the skills and experience to fill the mentor role? Potentially find a second mentor or coach to provide a balanced or opposing--or maybe just slightly different--view into your situation.

A quick blurb on The Plan: The Plan should be a road map to your objective. What you are trying to accomplish, what you already know you need to do to get there, areas where your strengths come in to play vs. areas where your weaknesses will present a hurdle, areas where ou have insufficient knowledge, etc. You may or may not overlay a time line on your plan, depending on how urgent your need is, your personality type, mentor's preference and so-on.

Clauderoughly · 2013-12-02T20:30:30+00:00

There should be a TRP meetup, if not already established.

[deleted] · 2013-12-02T13:08:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

pcadrian · 2013-12-02T17:04:42+00:00

Read Corey Wayne's book at understandingrelationships.com if you're looking for RP mentoring.

Title	Mentor Needed
Author	cabsarehere
Upvotes	3
Comments	11
Date	December 2, 2013 11:04 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1rwl72/mentor_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/mentor-needed.8425 https://theredarchive.com/post/8425

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