Summary: You are going to get fucked. No matter who you are, what you are doing and what you aspire to be. This is a universal truth. Life fucks everyone up.

Good news is, there are things in life that helps us along the way. Such as this quote:"There will always be suffering. But we must not suffer over the suffering.", and mentors.

Mentors are the fucking best, anyone who has a good mentor will tell you that. And in this post I'll be writing about getting mentors.

Body: So yeah, you are trying stuff and improving yourself. Great, you are doing something with your life. The thing is, to reach your goals you have to improve a lot faster, and better. Life is an auction, not a commercial store. You can not just walk in and get what everyone gets with the same price. Especially if you are a man, you have to grind for your needs, your wants, and most importantly your goals.

Improving ourselves help us along the way, it gets easier to beat your opponents as you get more experienced so you can win auction over auction. The thing is, if you are on your way to become a great man, a man who is not like anyone else -an alpha as some call it, I'd like to call it a man (because being a male and a man are two different things, which I'll write about in one of my next posts) - you have to overcome barriers that your opponents can not. If you have realized your potential and want to fulfill it, you have a long way; believe me, you will not tolerate wasting time on this road.

Ever realized top performers have all mentors? Athletes, top-tier businessmen, successful politicians, and even artists. If your goal is to become the #1, you have to get a mentor. There is not a single alternate which will help you that much, honestly.

Not everyone can be a good mentor for sure. I had many accomplished connections whom I had tried to make my mentors, but some of them were not good mentors, even though they thrived in their professional or personal lives. It is not easy to find a good mentor, but it is well worth the time to find one.

Let's get working, I will be succinct.

Step by Step Guide to Getting a Mentor

  • First thing you should do is to get a fucking pen and paper. List down everyone who you want to see as your mentor. Next to their names, write what do you expect from them and what can you offer to them. Be realistic.

  • By doing this pen and paper thing, you have realized that Donald Trump on your list will not mentor you. Good. As I've told you, be realistic. Like any other relationship around, the relationship of a mentor and a mentee is an exchange of values. Pick people whom you can offer some value. You might have nothing to offer, that's alright - that means, you have something actually valuable that you don't realize; it is you, yourself. Some people just like to see the improvement and their contribution to it is a sole reason for them to mentor you - which means once you get a mentor, you have to fucking improve and prove, show that to them.

  • There is this one trick that will get you succeed faster at getting a mentor; go for the number twos. How many of the guys on your list are CEOs or top people? Probably all of them. Don't do this mistake. Let me be honest with you, titles like that don't determine a man's worth. There are awesome people who are Vice Presidents, Marketing Coordinators etc (as you realize my examples are mostly from the entepreneurial/corporate world since I'm more close to that scene, but you get the big picture). If you were to choose a mentor from Google 5 years ago, would you choose Sundar Pichai? Or Tim Cook of Apple? No, right? These guys were not the number ones, and not even number twos; but they got that thing to become the CEO. Everyone goes for the top dudes, play your game right and target important #2, #3 people. Believe me, personality and experience are more important than titles. People except #1s get a lot less attention, and you asking them to be your mentor is a form of attention, which they will like. Another tip; use LinkedIn to add people to your list and also visit their blogs if they have, even Medium helps.

  • Reaching out is really important. Nowadays you can easily find people's email addresses online, but if you were not able, just call the company and ask an email address or their assisstant's. If you want that guy to be your mentor like crazy, try to get him on the phone. Most important thing is to have empathy. These are high profile, goal driven people with limited time. Don't waste their time, don't be a hassle to them. Be respectful, thank whenever possible without doing it too much. Help whenever possible, always offer help and ask if you can do something for them. Do all these without keeping it balanced and geniune. Another points is when you write an email, first tell about yourself - and keep it short! Just include the most important details. Ask spesific and well thought questions. Empathy!

  • Mentorship is a like a LTR mostly. You don't go to a girl you haven't met before and just ask her "Would you be my gf?" -if you are not Mystery, haha- and you don't just go to a potential mentor and ask him "Would you be my mentor? I like you a lot and respect your work!" - first start by asking spesific questions. See how receptive they are, some will never even respond to your messages, that's alright. For now, you are not worthy of their time it seems. One day you will be and maybe you won't even need them, it all depends on you. Start small and never make yourself forgettable. Always have this edge. One of my tricks is to use a [email protected] email address - it instantly attracts people because a gmail, outlook is what everyone has.

  • Don't forget to update on your significant improvements and ask important questions and never take them for granted - celebrate their birthdays, congratulate them on their promotions etc and always be grateful for them. If you are getting closer you can ask for a coffee or a dinner, and fucking pay for it! I had friends who had splitted the check and I was apalled by it. Fucking exchange of values man, fucking empathy - never forget these two.

So, for now that's all I'm sharing. A friend of mine asked me about getting mentors so I'll also be sharing this text with him, this is not a very well designed and prepared post but bare with that, fuck you if you don't like that :^)

Any questions, I am ready to explain, just comment below.

-CP