(I am new to the forum so please excuse the lack of acronyms and terminology)

I stumbled across the Holy Grail that is the REDPILL forum yesterday. Everything I have read in here has made sense to me in one way or another because I have either lived it or seen in right in front of my eyes boys.

This will be quite a long post. So this is a pre warning. Apologies in advance.

Bit of background about myself:

I am only 21 (yes I know that is still pretty young in comparison to some of the gentlemen in here. But I hope that doesn’t detract from what I have to share with my new fellow Pillars) Like some teenage boys I went through this stage of self-hate and trying to find myself in the shark pit that is high school. Until one day I was standing in my mums room because she had a closet that covered the whole side of a wall with glass picking faults with myself as you do. Then one day I just broke down and said you know what who cares what other people has to say or think about me. It took me a while to develop the psychological mind set of someone that loves them self. Now I have this self-love that cannot be shaking by the biggest stab at my ego.

I went through the stages in school where no one was interested in me at all whatsoever apart from the ones I really didn’t want coming near me. Never the less I gave in and lowered my standards which followed with me living out my fantasies while closing my eyes or staring at the back of their head. I wasn’t over or under weight. I was a 6ft something guy. I played sports, I had a pretty big social group. I would even go as far as to say I was quite popular. Which to me just didn’t make no damn sense at the time.

To make all this worse my first “love” was this pretty girl that cheated on me the first day we went out with a guy that is now my best friend. He wasn’t aware of me and her at the time. I didn’t realise the error of my ways until possibly my first year at college. (I live in London so that is at the humble age of 17). I had the nice guy syndrome lads. THE NICE GUY SYNDROME, but I had caught a peculiar strain of the syndrome where the girls I didn’t want were attracted to me and I would automatically be “friend zoned” by the beautiful ones I did want.

I figured that I was way too nice and only attracted the ones that needed me to hold up their self-confidence and keep them emotionally stable. So I became the go to guy that gave emotional advise and if I was lucky I would catch a kiss or a rebound BJ on the rare occurrence if the environment was right I would get laid which was followed by “this was a mistake” or “we shouldn’t have done that, give me some space” which I can now look back and seriously laugh about.

So anyway fast forward to the Christmas of 2009. I landed my first proper job at Harrods. I was surrounded by countless beautiful women (For those of you that have visited Harrods in Knightsbridge and have taken a walk through the numerous cosmetics and clothing departments you will know exactly what I mean. FYI they hand out a starters manual the size of the Oxford dictionary detailing how you should dress look and act). Once again I was surrounded by the women I wanted but could attain. I had the self-confidence-ish needed to talk to them but I just could say the right combination of things. Harrods paid a young boy pretty well.

So I went back to college in the New Year pockets full of money. Again still no luck getting the girls I wanted. Only being used by them for lunches and trips to Selfridges. That’s when it all dawned on me chaps… THE GOOD/NICE guy never wins. Not in any case or scenario that I have witnessed in my limited life anyway. That’s when things for me started to change a little or possibly a lot. I completely cut all girls off and focused on myself. Looked through all the times in my head where I was denied by the one I wanted and accepted by the one I didn’t.

Turns out I was shooting myself in the foot every single god damn time. Every time I was denied by the one I wanted I would mysteriously find myself propping up the emotional state of the ones I would take a dump on now. Obviously the one I wanted would see me doing this and I would fall further and further down the pecking order. So what does any 17yo do with a pocket full of cash?

I decided to honestly go shopping for a whole new closet. I kid you not I pretty much dumped all close that reminded myself of the guy that kept getting rejected. I sat back and observed my friends that actually got the 7 or above girls and saw what they were doing right and compared it to myself(Back then I wasn’t aware of the wonders the internet had to offer me in the shape of forums)

I became very aware that these guys were the nice guys all the time, only when it contributed to the end goal. None of these guys actually chased after girls excessively. None of these guys were remotely more attractive than me (in my recent years girls have “rated” me an 8.5 which I find highly offensively hahah. Believe me or not at your will). So what was I doing wrong? Many of you reading this post have probably already got a list as long as my forearm by now.

Here is what I believe that I was doing wrong:

I was the flawed nice guy I was scared of denial I didn’t have the charisma to carry off the words I wasn’t the alpha male I was a sheep not a leader Didn’t have the right “game” Now I would like to iterate this point again, I was short of self-confidence at this point of revelation. I just was knocked back countless times which led me to second guess myself quite a lot. I would approach girls I wanted only to not be successful. To be fair I have had situations where girls have shown interest only to have me come across like a damn fool and mess it up hahaha.

So I adopted the asshole alter ego that hasn’t failed me to date. I developed the strength to no longer care if a girl knocked me back ( I say to myself on a night out “im probably never going to see you again after tonight so what have I got to lose”). I used my self-love I developed to help build up the charisma and swagger in my step needed. I became the guy that everyone gave props or wanted to be around (This was far from an overnight process guys, honestly was a horrid time of trial and error lol, but it had to be done for me to move on. This step was completed at my old college). I became a leader of a group of socially acceptable boys. Even gained myself the nickname ‘Caesar’ which came with its own added pressures as you can imagine. Now this wasn’t achieved by fighting my way up the ladder or demeaning anyone else because that’s just a bully. I showed people I had self-worth and I could be counted upon for coming through with what I said I would do (I stand by being a man of my word). Now I would like to think I am a human being that is above average in intelligence, so picking up and adopting new concepts have never been a problem for me. (FYI I signed up to a new college to get a fresh start by this point. No point in trying to polish a turd in my opinion.) So my social skills improved. My social standing improved. My concept of self-worth improved. All round my life started to improve. I started getting recognition from better looking girls. At this point the best I slept with was in or around a 5.5(This rating was given by my social circle of really close friends. We have this WhatsApp group chat where we basically tear each other to shreds on the daily with banter and criticism. Kind of helps you develop a thick skin lool. But more importantly there is one specific person in the group who I will in future refer to as Tom. Now tom is a very very very honest person when it comes to females. Tom is probably the only guy I’ve known to consistently strike lucky with great looking girls with one or two questionable ones(interestingly enough I was the one that taught him “the way”. He is a couple years younger than me, he was still in high school when I was in college. Tom was my next door neighbour…..). His ratings are solids. He analyses every god damn thing about a girl before expressing a numerical value. Credit within this group is always given when due and everyone gets there five minutes of fame for pulling a straight 9. It’s a common thing now so no one really gets the ego boost needed anymore. None the less we are all a very tight group of friends.)

Alright well fast forward 3 and a bit years to a couple months ago. I am a confident individual with countless funny and messed up stories to tell where I have come out on the other side more experienced. I hope to share these with you at some point. Even thinking about some of them now makes me smirk like the cat that got the cream. Many include the mother of a guy I didn’t like. She was 45 and I was 20. Just to throw a spoiler alert at you chaps. Like for example I had this really close friend that broke up with his girlfriend that was quite hot. I mean this guy really put in some work to get with this girl. Some of the boys including myself said he was approaching it all wrong and giving this dumb broad all of the power. So anyway, his ego led to him daring me in the group chat that I couldn’t sleep with his newly made ex-girlfriend. I warned him and said that you don’t want to go there bro. again his ego wouldn’t let him let it go. I didn’t want to take up the challenge because I know he still really wanted this girl, but just like him my ego had got involved too. So what did I do? I slept with her the very next day. (I kid you not, it was the very next day, back then I was surprised myself) I used the skills I attained while being the go to rebound councillor when I was in my college years hahaha. Let’s just say mine and his friendship hasn’t really been the same which is understandable. Due to the experience from this I have created the a set of rules for myself and a set of unbreakable standards (Which I plan to share with others to hopefully add my pennies worth of knowledge with you all) In my humble opinion I have had success with women up to now. Slept with women that were older than me, not all of them are as old as 45, which was a onetime occurrence haahah. I’ve had stunning girlfriends that have made me the envy of some guys on a night out. I make a decent living. I drive a decent car. So some people might sit back and say I have been fairly successful in life to date, I always just shrug of these comments with “ ahhh this is nothing, just wait and see what I do next” in a bid to sound humble with it all. I am not a show boater because I don’t think I have a massive amount to show off, I am not rich in the slightest, I don’t live a massively glamourous life at all. I just work really hard and know what I am now capable off.

I wouldn’t say that I am the stereotypical guy you would presume me to be. I am now more of a nerd. I work within the IT industry. I love all things computer based (I am currently working on a social media application which I have people raving about). I like watching fantasy movies. I am a big Marvel movies fan. Iron Man is the man. I hope to one day build a fully functioning suit weaponised and all sorts, find myself a Pepper Pots and play hero( I wish I was joking lol). I enjoy video games like most people my age or above. So you can see I am not necessarily at an advantage here. The only difference is I open embrace my inner nerd and couldn’t care less what people have to say about it. In fact I find it quite funny when I meet girls or people in general and I tell them all this stuff they are either in shock and disbelief when they look at me or they just laugh and I make it into a great conversational piece to pick up the girl in question. I always joke and say I want to take them to my dungeon in my mums basement, they love that nerdy stereotypical BS hahahaha. So this leads me on to my story that summarises my blossoming into full on asshole mode as I like to call it.

My story (For the sake of this story I am changing all names involved just to show a bit of human decency to the people involved not to mention one of the girls in this story is now my girlfriend and I am not trying to get my arse left lonely and beaten hahaha)

God bless this earth with a glorious app called Tinder. Now I was getting matches here and there that led to me sleeping with them. One lovely day at work while bored I fired up tinder on my iPhone. I matched with a pretty blonde that worked around the corner from me. We got to talking on the app, we exchanged numbers and did the normal exchanges about getting to know each other, which I find tiring and boring especially since it’s probably not the first time that day I’ve had to say the same about myself (Now I try to do this in the best non vanilla way possible. My favourite line to use currently is “Tell me something about yourself, keep it short and keep it interesting” this has one of two outcomes and one of three responses. (Of which I will not sit here and describe because this isn’t the purpose of this post. Once again I will share all this at some other point in another post). Things between me and Rachel escalated she sent me a couple nudes which may I see maybe me raise an eyebrow once or twice. This girl had the body of a goddess. With the most soul capturing eyes. Now there was one or two times that I did or said a few things that put everything on the rocks, which mostly involved Snapchat and a couple other fiascos haha (hey I didn’t say I was perfect at this whole game).

So one night after not speaking to her for a couple of days I get a phone call around 12pm asking if I wanted to go out with her and her friend who has come over from California to celebrate her birthday. I said sure why not. Immediately called up my partner in crime. He wasn’t available. So I ask a couple other options but because of the lack of notice no one was available. So I was left with two options. Either I completely wrote off Rachel all together because this situation was supposed to be me rectifying an issue or I could brave going to meet a girl I hardly knew and a girl I know nothing about at all. Well I wasn’t about to let the opportunity to sleep with Rachel go so I gave myself a huge pep talk and got on with it. This was an absolute first for me. I have never met up with two random girls. This was a whole new playground for me. So anyway the time came to get dress and head out to central London to meet them both. I turn up a little early so I head to a local bar to catch a nerve calming drink. I get a text message about 30 minutes later saying they were waiting for me outside a shop. I walk to go meet them and there they were. Both blonde, both beautiful, both looking effortlessly stunning. I greet Rachel first, she introduces me to her friend and it was the awkward moment where its either you hug her or you shake her hand. I opt for the handshake, trying to etch out some sort of boundaries with this girl. She says “hello my name is Katie” she gave me a perfect smile and I was caught me from there. I played all this down. I walked with them both on either arm down the street to the bar. Testament to how good they looked we got free entry without having to queue up outside the busy bar. We go in, do the usual routine, jackets in the cloakroom then head straight to the bar for some drinks. Since it was Katies birthday I bent my golden rule and bought them both drinks. We went and found a seat in a booth and that’s where it all started to go downhill (or up depending on how some of you may read this story haha.) So Rachel is sitting next to me on my right and Katie on my left. I had guys looking at me nodding their heads in appreciation (Yes I got the massive ego boosts) I even had girls giving me credit for the situation (which was a first for me), I thought to myself, I have reached a new level here. So time passes and I am talking to them both while being entertained by the numerous guys that would approach from the dance floor and failing to get anywhere with either of the girls. Me and Rachel were getting on well. Getting all touchy feelie, kissed a few times. She bought me drinks, but for some reason Katie just wouldn’t give us a little space. So I set her the challenge of if she could get a guy to buy her a drink I would then buy her one also, in the hopes it would buy me a couple minutes at least(Stupid challenge for a girl like her, but it had a purpose lol). Turns out she was more capable that I thought ahhahaahaha. When I say to you this girl managed to get a guy to buy her a drink in like 6 seconds flat(I kid you not my fellow Pillars, she stood up and said to the guy next to us “I feel kinda thirsty”, this mug jumped at the chance to do it I didn’t know whether to be impressed or worried. Funny thing was turned out he was on a night out with his girlfriend and mates. She found out and the rest is a comedy sketch).

So anyway she was back in about 6 minutes, the queue at the bar was kind of long. In this time Rachel turns and says to me that “its obvious Katie likes you. She can’t stop talking about you when you are not around, plus it’s so obvious she is flirting with you”. Now in my mind I am doing jumping jacks but externally I keep a poker face and say to her “that doesn’t matter to me, I came here for you tonight and I am enjoying spending time with you”. She was doing the typical female thing where she wanted to affirm her position, so I played the game and left her to it. Katie came back and her flirting continued. Rachel didn’t like it and stormed off, I went after her because that was the only logical thing to do and Katie followed. I had words with Rachel. Then this is where I really saw Katies intentions. She said “come on let’s find Rachel a nice guy for tonight” she then turns around and quite literally pushes Rachel into a group of guys taking photos holding champagne. So I now knew what Katie was up to. I smirked to myself saying I know your game girl. Then things take another twist, Rachel starts talking to one of the guys who is trying it on and she is not knocking him back…. I am not pleased about this at all. So I am standing there staring at Rachel and this guy while Katie is trying to get my attention. Then I decide to leave Rachel to it, I told Katie to stay with her. I went to the bar got myself another drink and sat back in the booth on my own. Wallowing in my own self-pity that one of my girls was in the arms of another guy. A couple minutes into this self-pity I said to myself fuck that!! I am not that guy. So I went to the cloakroom grabbed my jacket. Walked up to Rachel and Katie and told them we are leaving! They hear my tone of voice and immediately go to get their coats. Much to the displeasure of the group of guys that they managed to collect. So on the way out Katie decides to invite a select group to join us at the next bar. Rachel glares at her and just laugh to myself. So I walk up the stairs, smug look my face as I regained control of the situation. While walking to the other bar around the corner, Rachel told me that she didn’t want to talk to those guys, she just wanted to show me what it felt like, I was taken back thinking “who does this fing d****d think she is!!!” (Pardon the French). Katie was lagging behind at this point. Me and Katie decide to try and find her a guy in the next bar so that she would leave me alone. Rachel said loudly “don’t worry Katie we will find you a guy at the next bar”. I continue walking with Rachel on arm to the next bar. Once again we jump the queue and get free entry to the bar. Once we run through the normal routine again I made it my mission to find the most suitable guy to fix this issue. I find one and said to him “tonight is quite literally your lucky night bro” spent about 35 seconds briefing him on Katie. He gets excited and eager like a puppy, while still not truly believing what I am telling him lol. I mean, a random guy approaches you and says he has a stunning blonde for you to take of his hands and that he is willing to help you do it to. Would you believe it? So anyway I bring him over to Katie and Rachel. Katie automatically dismisses him and walks away to the side. He is embarrassed and steps back too. This is where the story takes another turn for the worse (or better depending on how you look at it once again ahah). Rachel says to me on the dance floor “Its Katies birthday and I want her to enjoy herself, just make her night. You can get off with her for tonight. I really don’t mind, it’s only for one night. She is my best friend and I want her to have a good time in London on her birthday” so I stand back in complete disbelief about the cards I had been dealt. I was also confused because I was under the notion that if a female liked you she would want to share you with another.

Turns out I could have thought wrong. It was that or Rachel thought she had this power and control over me where she thought she owned me and could pimp me out and her will. Well the latter was far from true. She kisses me and then disappears into the crowd. I turn around and Katie is standing in the corner looking all puppy dog like. I swear to the almighty himself I said this to myself “Well *** here we go, what have you really got to lose?” I went up to Katie, she tried to dismiss me. I brushed that off. She then says to me “I don’t know how to feel about you. You completely rejected me, you ditched me and left me with those guys in the other bar. No one ever rejects me!!” at that precise moment is where I fell for this girl gentlemen all over again. Purely because I looked into her eyes and saw myself, he ego matched mine and she was beautiful. So I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer. Kissed her right there, like as cliché movie in the middle of the dance floor people watching blah blah blah. She then offers to get me a drink. I accept. We walk over to the crowded bar. Rachel had seen me get off with Katie, got jealous and decided to get one back. I turn round to find her making a show of herself kissing some guy on the stairs. His hands all over my girl. So once again the ego kicked in and I said to Katie I will be right back. Walked over to Rachel. Grabbed her and took her to one side near the female toilets. Where I put my hands all over her marking my territory while kissing her. I put my hands down her skirt where I began to play with her. I stared her right in the eyes without saying a word. I moved my hands and went to walk away. She grabbed me by the belt buckle. Pulled me back, put her hand right down my jeans grabbed my package and said to me “remember who is your girl, I wish Katie wasn’t here so I could take you back to the hotel and show you”. I gave her a smirk and just walked off without saying a word. The work was already completed, she was mine through and through no doubt now. Turns out when I left Katie at the bar she had found herself new found friends that surrounded her and bought her drinks while barraging her with countless questions lol. I pull her out of the crowd drinks in tow. She is displeased that I left her again. Thankfully she didn’t see me with Rachel in the corner.

So the night continues with me doing this back and forth getting off with both of them. The night draws to a close and I am honestly exhausted from the dancing and mental mind fuck I went through. Not to mention the countless free drinks I was handed by the girls that guys sent to them ahaha. So when the bar closes for the night I am ready to go home. Rachel invites me back to their hotel room. We both look at Katie, she is clearly unsure but goes along with it anyway. So we catch a cab back to the hotel which isn’t too far away. While in the lift I consider the option of pushing for a threesome, but this was way to high risk knowing the fragility of the situation currently. Wasn’t trying to lose both girls on the final leg. We get into the hotel room and all is chilled. Rachel pretends to be too drunk. Katie gets changed and gets into the bed. So I am laying there with both girls on either side. So what do I do? Fuck all guys. I just fall asleep ahahhahahaha. There was no way anything could happen with either or both with it getting complicated. I preferred a nice hotel bed to sleep in over the drama.

So anyway I wake the next morning, get dressed. Went home. Me and Katie started talking on messenger. Rachel and I continued to talk. She then says she thinks its better for use to remain friends blah blah blah because of Katie and she wants to be a good friend. So once again this dumb broad was on a power trip. I just said cool and left it at that. Couple days later I get messages from her angry saying why am I saying one to Katie about the night(I told Rachel I didn’t really enjoy myself much etc because of everything that went down. Then told Katie I had the time of my life) I was puzzled as to why Rachel was even fussed. Turns out that Katie had caught proper feelings for me and started sharing conversations me and her had been having over the last few days. This made Rachel a little green around the gills.

To cut this story short. Me and Rachel then went on to have an message exchange that went from her wanting to be a good friend to Katie to me dropping Katie for her etc. I started laughing. While me and her was having this conversation me and Katie were talking about me potentially taking a trip to Cali. Turns out Katie told Rachel while me and Rachel was talking and Rachel blew up about it. I was called every name under the sun ahahahah. She then went on to try and be spiteful by trying to screen munch mine and her conversation to “expose” me to Katie. Not going to lie, I thought the jig was up. Luckily it wasn’t and Katie just dismissed it all.

Fast forward a couple months and me and Katie are together in a pretty good relationship that I cannot fault guys. Rachel is still in the background spilling her bitter hate lol. All is well that ends well…..

My conclusion:

So anyway I wanted to share all this with you all because I wanted to show you all that it is possible to change from the guy that doesn’t get what he wants with women to actually having two girls he would have sold his soul for at the humble age of 17 to sleep with!

I find that it is all about finding yourself as a person and learning what you are capable of. Being confident and knowing your self-worth. Dressing well. Being well spoken. Being able to make a girl laugh without becoming the joke. Also being able to hold a conversation that’s non generic enough to capture her attention. Rule of thumb, if you write a line and think it’s possible a guy has said the same thing that week to her, DON’T SEND IT TO HER. Think up something else.

I hope that me telling you all a little about myself and sharing my last epic story will help someone here in some small or large way. The story I told is my last ever adventure before settling down with me equal. I promise you I’ve told not a single lie or exaggerated any bit. I told it as it happened. Believe me or not but that’s not the wildest story I have to tell. Message me if you want to talk about anything I will reply when I can.