My story

Hi everyone. I thought I'd share my experience of females with everyone.

I've never had a proper girlfriend, ever and I'm starting to believe I probably never will.

I remember the first "crush" (hate that word) at school. I was six years old!

Regardless, at school I never had any female attention and didn't care as I preferred to masturbate anyway. It wasn't until I went to university aged 18 that I started to want a girlfriend and I became very attracted to a girl who kept staring at me. Literally, every time I saw her she would stare for ages and give me a warm smile when I caught her eye. I almost expected her to talk to me eventually but she never did so I "asked her out" (also detest that phrase) really awkwardly and surprise surprise she said no. I half expected her to say that really and only did it to follow through on what I'd said I would. A friend said that it took "guts" and it certainly did. It's the single most embarrassing thing I've ever done and I still cringe about it sometimes even though it happened nearly nine years ago. He also called her a bitch saying how she was leading me on which she might possibly could have been doing. The way she looked at me... and she was so pretty and pleasing to the eye to boot. I tell you, I still believe she was just playing a game with me as you don't know look at someone like she looked at me without knowing you're giving signals.

Regardless, she made some excuse about seeing the ubiquitous "boyfriend" every girl seems to have and that was the first and last time I ever spoke to her. In those days I was a die-hard "blue-piller" as you say and truly believed there was someone for me "out there" who was my perfect romantic partner. I tried (successfully I might add) to avoid her for the next 2 and a 1/2 years I was at that university. Damn my naivete.

Anyway, by that point and for another year I had still not kissed a girl, ever. However, roughly a year after my embarrassing incident, I had the (I thought good at the time) fortune to meet a girl who was almost sickly pretty - long blonde hair, nice little body etc. She started flirting with me overtly on msn messenger (long since stopped that rubbish - collossal waste of time) although being awfully inexperienced at the time I had no idea what she was doing was flirting - nor did I realise that she liked me even after she called me "amazing" and saying that she wants to "get to know me." Eventually it clicked in my mind and I arranged quickly to meeting her properly for a sort of date. Incidentally, I first chatted to her online because a friend lived near her and after being told that she was "very pretty" I wanted to see a picture of her so I could judge. I'm actually amazingly discriminating when it comes to women despite my severe lack of romantic contact - I'm very picky. What I saw was definitely higher than average so while I was chatting to her on msn I saw her picture and immediately said "you're too good for me" and closed the chat and thought nothing of it. After I met her in person, the online flirting began.

Anyway, after arranging our "date" I was extremely excited and I almsot instantly fell "in love". For me (this might happen for other men too) knowing a girl likes me makes me attracted to them unless they're VERY ugly - it's probably a side-effect of loneliness).

So anyway, we meet up and we go for a walk where I confess (stupidly) that I'd never had a girlfriend before and she said something patronising like "aww you'll meet someone" (bullshit) but afterwards we go to her room and watch a film where she gets quite touchy and feely. Of course, being inexperienced, I outstay my welcome but I manage to get a kiss out of her. She toys with me like I'm a plaything - making me close my eyes and laughing when she sees me shaking with nerves at this new experience. I stay the night and I touch her and she touches me but she refuses to have sex because she'd feel guilty - an obvious lie - it was because she'd realised I was "clingy" which I was as I was infatuated with her. The next morning she promises that she'll see me again and I leave sort of satisfied but with a pair of blue balls ready to explode! I didn't masturbate for 28 days after that - my best yet - but that's beside the point, what matters is that she lied when she said she'd see me again - I was a clingy beta and the next time I saw her (after I asked to see her) was her telling me the usual female crap about not wanting a relationship.

This astonished me as she had been a right dirty bint that night literally touching everywhere and talking dirty in my ear all night even offering me a BJ despite not offering full on sex. I refused the BJ because at the time, I was infatuated with her, loved her and did not want to "degrade her." I still regret refusing it to this day.

Anyway, I never spoke to her again. It was an interesting lesson for me. I learned the weird contradiction of women - they can seem infatuated with you and almost begging for sex it seems yet still refuse you.

A few weeks later I met another girl. Not much of a looker and a bit fat but she was very friendly and she had a sort-of pretty face. I thought she'd jump at the chance to have a male companion as she certainly wasn't getting offers from elsewhere. I invited myself round hers upon which she just sat there - only speaking to me when I spoke first, refusing my advances and I nearly gave up but she was quite persistent with texting me throughout the summer holidays and a week before we went back for our final year at university, she becamse surprisingly soppy and I lapped it up. She said she wanted to see me again and wanted to hang out with me and I was very excited at the prospect. She even told my friend at the time that she was looking forward to seeing me. I did see her but my God she was a cold fish. I tried to sit loser to her but she actually moved away from me. Eventually she said something that still haunts me to this day: "I think we had false expectations of each other" and that was that. She wanted nothing more to do with me. What a selfish, arrogant sow. Little did I realise that practically all women are like that.

I used to play Badminton. One time when I was sitting in the spectator area, a girl came up to me and talked to me. Beady eyes and a bit in her teeth but still. I thought she might be interested and I thought "beggars can't be choosers". She even talked to me again next week and while we were chatting (instigated by her both times) she mentioned that she had a boyfriend. Cue instant awkward moment. Girls are fucked up royally. I never saw her again after that!

After university, I met a girl online and we got along, eventually meeting in a hotel and we actually had sex a few times (my only sexual partner to date). It took about four months of "courting" and she was such a drama queen that she kept finding reasons to fall out and then make up etc. I will say one thing for sex, it really isn't that great. Thinking about it is more pleasurable than doing it that's for sure. I remember one thing that happened during our meet: we went out to the cinema and she actually told me she knew this other man who she thought was "good-looking." It's amazing how girls think this is OK to talk about. She didn't even consider the possibility that saying that might hurt my feelings. So anyway, I was in a tit for tat mood so I said back to her "well you're not the best either" and my God she went mental! bared her teeth, cried in the toilet, refused to talk to me until I'd apologised a hundred times. I couldn't believe the hypocrisy and the blatant double standard! Yet I've come to realise most, if not all women are like this. The girl I first kissed talked about a Rygby player she liked right in front of me and the slightly fat one talked about how she liked Hugh Jackass-man yet God forbid any man talk about another woman!

Anyway, eventually, the thing with that girl ended and I never saw her again.

I haven't had any contact with women since.

Another thing I've noticed about all women is that if they have a boyfriend, they'll tell you and try subtly to drop it into the conversation. It's obviously a hard-wired defence mechanism because it happens too often for it to be a coincidence.

Yes everyone, women are fucked up, selfish, arrogant and shallow and I now want nothing to do with them apart from when I'm sexually aroused and I just masturbate that off.

Thanks for reading my depressing story of no love!