This is my story.

Im 28 and woke up december 18th already dead. The world before me is am empty shell of what it used to be. I can recognize the faces and the places but its as if im seeing them for the first time. Unfamiliar and foreign, everyone and everything is a machine of reaction and action to me. Yes, my lover has left me and is in the arms of another man. My pain consumes every fiber of my soul and mercilessly rips away the rose colored glasses ive worn for 28 years. The truth about women has become apparent and in that i clearly see the mechanical nature of behaviour and reality. All men are not created equal and despite the wests attempts at a disney like narrative, life is a game of power and value. If you dont participate in the game, then you lose. No one is special and people are replaceable. We are a black canvas upon which other beings project on to. Your family is only held together by conditioning and the belief of what a family should be. Same goes for friends and intimate relationships. Consider that you get what you put in work for. How your percieved is what holds the key to what people will let you get away with. The world works hard at hiding this truth, but Ill never unsee what i now see. Im no special snow flake, im as good as buried. All concerns for meaning and love can be discarded. Today your a somebody, tomorrow your old news. A new paradigm a new world with no people in it. Just nature and conditioning doing what it does. 100% indifferent to anything. Facts not comfort. Awake but unable to go back to sleep. Cheers.