Need advice on breaking up with LTR

So, where do I even start?

I discovered redpill few years ago, and got immediate success in terms of physical and mental health. I was able to fuck the shit out of girls the moment I met them, no need for second dates or going through bullshit. I was active at gym and felt the best I ever had so far, I dated for a girl for 1 month and broke up since I felt like she was a bipolar and caging my ambition. Prior to that I had no relationships. Fast forward, I meet a girl on bar and seduce her by just going for a kiss, that wasn't even the first girl I had made out that night, 2 others I pulled too but they weren't available for sex so I moved on to her. Unfortunately the club starts closing and I suggest she comes to my place, she says she wants to but can't since she is sleeping at her girlfriend's place and needs to take care of her as she is very drunk. I tease her and we exchange social media. We date for a while and I keep engaging her sexually but we aren't having sex as I have problems with boner at the time. Turns out she is a virgin. She only had a short relationship with her ex, like a month give or take. From her wording she has at most tried oral sex. I'm thinking I hit the jackpot and start slowly getting purplepilled but still checking AMS vids. FF I have fun with her and get introduced to her parents although she kinda thinks I am a player at the time, and that's what shes heard of me from other girls too, I for some stupid reason try to hide this because am getting my bluepill mindshit on. Anyways, she makes comments about how shes probably "toxic in relationships", and I don't understand this huge red flag, well like month or two goes on and she starts acting really indifferent and does shit ton of shit tests and is rude, so I tell her I am going to break up because of the rudeness, and she does full 180 (surprise surprise) and starts crying it's because her ex ghosted her after month of dating (I'd still be interested to know why as she said "for no reason"). Well she promises to change her shit and stuff like this happens from time to time, I keep my frame and lesson her like a child everytime shit like this happens.

Slowly my grip starts to slip and I am speaking to her like a baby, but I tried to keep the frame when drama ensues, I pass her 1 week no contact pullback and she runs back to me. We have drama from time to time and I try to break up with her time to time, but she always convinces me not to. Somehow I am losing my masculinity. I have few shortcomings in life and failures and those make me have biig break from gym and lose most of my progress.

Fast forward today, soon 3 years of relationship with her

  • I speak to her like a baby
  • I rarely clean my apartment
  • I feel stuck in life as I have future plans or ambition anymore
  • my masculine frame is forever broken to her because I've shown huge weakness despite always being to ready to walk away
  • I just started going to gym again and slowly getting my progress back
  • Financially not very sound
  • I don't have the same amazing charm on women I used to

My actions and the time with her has emasculated me greatly. She shows love to me everytime I try to break up with her but sometimes she just goes no contact so I pull back too. She has started a new school, new job and goes to student events with her new friends from time to time. There is just too much to write about so ask me if you want details on anything.

I want to break up with her, I want to get my shit together and feel masculine again. I don't want a new LTR, not for a while atleast. At first she seemed like an unicorn, from healthy family where her parents have been together for their whole life and her virginity all this, just gave me a facade of an unicorn. I shoulda known it was a huge red flag when she told me that her fantasy is to be gangbanged by a room full of conscripts but then said it was only a joke when I pulled back and said that's not part of my values to date a woman like that. I shouldn't have judged her because she doesn't tell me these things anymore I could have used for gathering information.

So I am in a situation where I have to move out in a month (we don't live together), I am still going around the same small city for now, and I am not sure if I get a new contract for work as that is ending in month too, so already unsure waters. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and I feel like I owe a decent present for her as she took me out to eat and drink on my birthday and also gave me a small gift card to clothing store. I have ordered infact a present already but she does not know this. I have good relationship with her parents and they treat me good and are sound people, so I am afraid of their reaction to me breaking up with their daughter. I actually before did and cancelled it the very next day as it "didn't feel right", just me being beta at the moment. I don't feel like a man right now and I don't want to hurt her but after typing this shit I see only a fraction of the mistakes I have made and I need to get on top of my game financially, physically and mentally. I feel like she is draining my energy and restricting me by telling I should just be thankful for what I have and maybe have plan b that's easier and more reliable than trying to get into a law school. Anyways, how do I break up and reverse this beta shit from my life? I've been purple pill for too long and need to get back to my prime and beyond. I will answer any questions that come to your mind and take advice with great gratitude.