Never Complain

stevredpill · 2014-07-20T15:19:32+00:00

I agree, people ITT taking this way too literally. Like when we say "never apologize" we don't mean if you knock over a girl's drink, you can't apologize and buy her a new one.

Don't complain means "don't whine or bitch about a situation" it does not mean "don't speak up." For example "damn, it's hot as balls outside, let's go get some water" is perfectly fine. Whereas "omg I'm so dehydrated, it's so hot" does nothing except let others know you want someone else to suggest a solution to your problems.

If something is shitty in a big-deal sort of way (the train is delayed and the whole group will now potentially miss the concert), offer a solution. If you can't offer a solution, help the group collaborate to figure something out.

If something is shitty but in a minor way or in a way that no one can change (we're hiking and you're tired but not about to collapse or anything), then that's when you do what OP suggested. Just stop resisting the experience, be positive about it, and lead the group to something more fun when you can.

GraphicSeniorNudity · 2014-07-20T11:33:19+00:00

Careful now.

Never complain ≠ never speak up.

If you're in a shitty situation or don't like what's going on speak your mind. Don't be a timid church mouse who never takes issue with anything.

cheeky--kunt · 2014-07-20T13:42:09+00:00

Even if it's a 110 degrees out and you haven't had water since breakfast, stay quiet.

No. you stand the fuck up and get the water for yourself instead of sitting and sweating dully, thinking about complain or not? This is how we make things done. if you need something >> go get it.

Gabe6678, I agree with your post. Many alpha douchebags use this by degrading others in manner "making others look worse than me, rather than being better than others" It is easy to recognise this pattern, but harder to fight it.

To the topic:

Complaining and whining can be distinguished by the nature of the dissatisfaction and by our motivation for expressing it. Complaining involves voicing fair and legitimate dissatisfactions with the goal of attaining a resolution or remedy. When we voice legitimate dissatisfactions but do so without the goal of attaining a resolution we are merely venting. And when the dissatisfactions we voice are trivial or inconsequential and not worthy of special attention, we are whining.

Just my opinion, complaining is fine in specific condition when you have good friend whom you can depend on (and vice versa) because in male-male communication, it often leads to solution or different point of view on the goal.

However, venting and whining is for women and children.

TLDR: keep your problems for yourself. If you need someone to hear you out, call your best bro.

itsonlyabottle · 2014-07-20T16:47:40+00:00

If you want a good example, think of the lead star Vinnie from Entourage. The guy always project a sense of tranquility that things are going to be fine.

2014-07-20T15:36:54+00:00

I had a friend who kept bitching to me about his gf. She was a coke addict and she was a psycho but he loved her. In my mind, I felt like telling him, "so why don't you leave her?" but my good manners wouldn't permit it. He was a nice guy and he probably still is but the time I spent talking to him was a fucking drag. I'm a guy that's either content, happy or angry most of the time and I'd rather keep it that way.

2014-07-21T01:36:10+00:00

I've learned this at work too.

If I feel like I'm doing all of the work, instead of complaining "Wow, why am I the only one that ever does anything around here?"

I usually say "Hey I could use some help with X, I believe Person A isn't busy."

It makes a difference. I don't mind doing a lot of the work since I've always had a good work ethic, but if we need to get a lot of tasks done and people are being purposefully lazy, then I speak up.

moosik85 · 2014-07-20T09:09:13+00:00

Couldn't agree more. No one cares about your problems but you.

Also people tend to remember negativity more than positive. So a few negative experiences with you will outweigh positive ones.

HappyShopperJesus · 2014-07-20T13:54:09+00:00

My friend dates a girl who constantly complains, biggest attention whore I've ever met. I definitely had to distance myself from them for that very reason. Even in a big group she finds a way to kill the positive vibe.

Venting is acceptable, but complaining is a different story.

JihadDerp · 2014-07-21T04:22:10+00:00

I had a soccer game last week. The score was 3-3, and at the end of the game, I was about 6 yards away from the other team's goal when the ball fell at my feet. I took a shot, and the keeper blocked it. The ball came right back to me. I faked a shot to one side, and when the keeper dove to that side, I shot to the other side and hit the post. The ball came right back to me. I shot it again and the keeper blocked it. The ball back at my feet, I waited for the keeper to make his move, and I shot it one last time in the opposite direction that he dove, and it hit his outstretched feet. Finally, the ball went out of bounds.

Bad luck? My fault? Good keeper?

I honestly don't know.

But everybody on the field saw it. It was my opportunity to win the game. And I didn't score.

I think by reading my account of the situation, you can see a hint of a complaint. The fucking keeper kept blocking my shots. But when I take an introspective moment, I know that I should have scored. I had a wide open net in front of me, with nothing but an amateur co-ed rec league "goalie" standing in my way. Any retarded 5 year old could have hit the ball with his toe and scored.

I was so tempted to complain to my team after the game was over. E.g. "I waited for him to dive, then I shot it the other direction, but his foot caught it!" That's a complaint. The third string goal keeper for DC United could have scored on the first try.

I wanted so bad to complain about how it wasn't my fault that I couldn't score.

But I didn't complain. I took full responsibility. I fucked up. I missed a wide open net. Yeah, the keeper was good to block the shots, and it's easy to complain about that. But my shots weren't as good as they could have been. So instead of complaining, I had to own my own faults.

mister_selfdestruct · 2014-07-20T11:07:12+00:00

I agree.

But, sigh, it does have a flipside, never truly relating to anyone and keeping it all bottled up inside is the stuff depression, loneliness, suicide is made of.

circlhat · 2014-07-20T12:35:33+00:00

if it's a 110 degrees out and you haven't had water since breakfast, stay quiet.

Life is one big balancing act and you clearly are way to passive, you will find everyone else complaining while you are the idiot with heat stroke.

A much better example is you should usually keep your opinions about feminist, the liberal media and the role of women to yourself.

2014-07-21T05:06:36+00:00

Good distinction! Dale Carnegie "How to Win Friends and Influence People" hammers this point very well.

You are correct. Teasing someone's hair places the focus on the other person rather than a complaint which places the focus on the self. Everyone likes to be acknowledged and likes to talk about themselves and have a podium to express themselves. Nobody wants to hear complaining. But even being acknowledged in a teasing way will still serve to validate the other person which is beneficial to you.

2014-07-21T22:26:54+00:00

Complaining is putting yourself in a child's role in a situation.

Title	Never Complain
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	57
Comments	17
Date	July 20, 2014 9:02 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2b76eh/never_complain/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/never-complain.18172 https://theredarchive.com/post/18172

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