~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]MoneyStatusLooks 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Tit for tat strategy. Also extend the olive branch, if it's not reciprocated shun them. This way you will never be taken advantage of but can get in to positive spirals of awesomeness from people who reciprocate value.
[–]FocalBox 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't really follow. What do you mean olive branch or tit for tat strategy? (Not from the States so didn't really get that reference)
[–]MoneyStatusLooks1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I mean it's a general strategy for life. Add and give value, but if it's not reciprocated, move along.
There has to be a timescale in this. For example, when interacting with a new chick, you need to provide value for a certain period of time for her to recognise it. Like you could have everything going on but she might not know it until shes been with you for hours/days.
So at a certain point, they either start reciprocating value. IE doing things you value. Sex, pleasing you in whatever way you want, or you are done with them.
I use the same strategy in business, with friends etc etc. It's just good all round.
[–]pTymN 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But they don't even. They really do just expect a flow of value for nothing in return.
[–]pTymN 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I agree with points (i)-(iii), except that for (iii) I have more of an impatience than inability. It is frustrating to see what someone should do, to be able to explain exactly how to get from their mindset to one that supports what they should do, and then when they get around the corner and realize the effort, the backpedalling begins.
I gave up.
[–]FocalBox 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
For me, it's also impatience (i.e. inability to tolerate).
I subconciously look down on people that don't have their shit together and have no intention of improving themselves. I realize nobody has their shit COMPLETELY together, but I think everyone, at least in their youth (i.e. my age) should have goals or a purpose or even some basic hobbies.
When they don't, it's really difficult and virtually impossible for me to connect with them. I try my best to be interested in what they say, because I think you can learn something from everyone, but it's almost futile.
Alternatively to having one's shit together but still being an appealing potential friend, someone could just try not milking complements from me and having an honesty about their failings.
But anyone who does this is probably already a Doug Stanhope...
[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Label the summary up top and lessons learned at the bottom. Follow the format instructions in the announcement:
http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3a0135/announcement_new_thread_requirements/
Here's a good example of what we're looking for:
http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3a0ggu/the_average_american_woman_now_weighs_as_much_as/
[–]LordRahc0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I can definitely relate to this. I struggle with relationships with girls that develop into anything more than 'plate' status. I find the best solution is to first establish a good grounding for yourself in terms of TRP. By that I mean, know your boundaries, know what you will and will not do, know yourself. Once you are in this state, you can just be completely honest with people and/or girls.
For instance, today a girl I've been seeing is coming over to mine. She asked me if I wanted to pick her up from a place which is a 30 minute drive. Obviously I do not want to do this. So I said "Not particularly, though I still want to see you". Lo and behold, she is making her own way to mine later on. I think the point I'm trying to make is, don't intentionally be a dick to people if it's not what you want. If you want to do something for someone, or feel as though something should be done, then just do it. Don't worry so much about 'being used' or 'trusting people'. Of course, this can only apply once you have unplugged, which it seems like you have.
Don't do things for people because you think it will make them like you, do things because you think it is the correct thing to do.
Admittedly I don't do this, but I believe you should treat people with respect and kindness until they prove they are otherwise undeserving. One strike and they're out. This is not a solid rule, though in terms of meeting new people I think it is correct.
[–]FocalBox 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I like this mindset and can see myself adopting it. Do what you perceive is right, so regardless of the outcome/reaction, you will still be happy with the fact that you did it.
I believe you should treat people with respect and kindness until they prove they are otherwise undeserving
I do this, but because of my high expectations, the moment the conversation gets boring I just give up and stop trying. I always get the same responses. "How's life recently", "alright, it's pretty chill", "Oh, so what do you do for fun", "nothing much, chill with friends", "...".
It's almost like they're not even trying, and I'm doing all the work in the conversation. But sure, I'll give them the benefit of a doubt, maybe they really are socially awkward, maybe they're tired, maybe they really don't have that interesting of a life... I'll still give them a chance. Therefore, I don't mind being the "pursuer" in the first 1-2 minutes of interaction but if this lasts more than 5 minutes I just give up...
[–]LordRahc0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
In terms of conversation, the simple fact is if you are asking questions like "How's life recently", you are going to be in for a fucking boring conversation. I avoid these questions entirely, including "what do you do for a living" or "what do you study" etc. because it not only bores me to death, it's mindless and uninteresting for most people.
There is a myth about being a sociable person that 'you need to get them talking about themselves, that's what people love!' I find this is bullshit. You have to be the interesting person. And I don't mean talk about your hobbies and yourself constantly, I mean, be interesting. If the conversation turns into the "How's life recently", then point out how boring it is. Just be honest, seriously. It's amazing how well it works when you really stop trying so hard and just say whatever you want to.
In terms of actions, I have another example for you. Last week I was at a party, everyone on copious amounts of drugs, about 4am in the morning, most people could hardly move. Everyone was smoking, and the ashtray was overflowing. I saw this, and emptied the ashtray. A simple enough task yes, and I don't know whether people even noticed I did it. But that's the point. The ashtray was overflowing, so I took the initiative of emptying it. I did it for me, and the entire party benefited. I wasn't worrying about whether people would see me as a doormat, or they were using me to empty the ashtray. I did what I saw had to be done, and IDGAF what people think. On the other hand, if someone said "hey LordRahc, can you empty that ashtray?" unless they had a good reason, I would say "Empty it yourself you lazy fucker". You see the distinction?
[–]FocalBox 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's amazing how well it works when you really stop trying so hard and just say whatever you want to.
This advice won't work for me. Whenever I say whatever first comes in my head I sound like a condescending asshole and make some uncallibrated, offensive joke.
I like your ashtray example. I would not do something like that (because I'm inherently selfish and I don't even smoke), but it's something I should start thinking of doing for the sake of just doing it.
I think the distinction is (1) you do what you want or feel is needed and (2) don't be a doormat.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]MoneyStatusLooks 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]FocalBox 0 points1 point2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MoneyStatusLooks1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]pTymN 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pTymN 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]FocalBox 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pTymN 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LordRahc0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]FocalBox 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]LordRahc0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FocalBox 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link