Overcoming Oneitis.

chivalry_augustus · 2014-02-23T16:20:21+00:00

You can't shake it. You can't cure yourself of your humanity. I know that some people on here disagree but RP doesn't turn you into a nihilist. Only thing you can do in situations like this is accept it as a part of you, and not be dragged back towards her. Develop yourself and develop your life. A life well lived, and the passage of time, these are the only things that shake feelings like this.

redpillbanana · 2014-02-23T17:10:30+00:00

You could try some Pavlovian self-training:

Think of a food you hate but is good for you - like broccoli.

When you think of your ex, grab some raw broccoli and eat it.

Eventually you will start associating thoughts of your ex with eating raw broccoli.

The worst thing that could happen is that it doesn't work, and you've just eaten a bunch of food that is good for you.

JP_Whoregan · 2014-02-23T16:42:06+00:00

First, read this.

Sounds like what's going on here is a desire on your part for her validation. That's really what "oneitis" is at it's core: it's not just that you're seeking validation from women, you are experiencing a strong desire for validation from one woman in particular, and that's dangerous to the male psyche, and it frequently results in reversions back to BP behavior.

Spinning those 13 plates may be fun, but it's not gonna cure the oneitis you're experiencing with this ex. Perhaps it may help to internalize some personal goals, and set out to achieve them. Don't tell anybody about them, just do them. Lift weights, start training to run a half-marathon, commit to reading more, go kayaking, learn to cook, anything that doesn't involve a direct focus on the female sex. I'm not saying to become a celibate schlub, by all means keep spinning plates, but redirect the focus of where you derive your ultimate happiness.

BenchPress400 · 2014-02-23T16:38:32+00:00

It's cliche, but time will cure it.

Not time by itself, but rather the time you spend making progress and improving yourself (as you've been doing) the less you'll care about her.

Just think, do you think about her as much now anywhere near as much as you did when you first broke up? Or in the weeks after? Probably not. Keep moving on, and before you know it she will be meaningless. I've been in the exact same situation you're in now, and I got over it eventually.

bama79rolltide · 2014-02-23T19:18:30+00:00

Let me clarify. I don't want her. I'm not a fool. Like I said, she was a bad girlfriend. I'm just irritated that things pop into my head and she's there. We haven't spoken in a year, she lives on the other side of the country. It's fading, but I'm ready for it to be dissolved.

Rollo-Tomassi · 2014-02-24T22:17:06+00:00

These will help: http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/30/there-is-no-one/

http://therationalmale.com/2012/10/29/the-soul-mate-myth/

bleeeeeeeding7 · 2014-02-24T04:29:32+00:00

You are idealizing and romanticizing the past. Forgive yourself for this, and then realize she is not special. Realize that everything she said to you, good or bad was just a manipulation. Her words are meaningless, her actions where selfish. She is the same as any other girl. She will hit the wall someday, but before then time will probably cause you to forget about her.

rdaily207 · 2014-02-23T21:30:27+00:00

have you tried fucking her mother?

quantum_spintronic · 2014-02-23T18:43:42+00:00

I've had problems in the past with this, and when something like this happens to me I usually meditate on it. If I dont, it will become something that gets stuck in the front of my mind and I dont want that.

I meditate, concentrate, think, whatever you want to call it, about why she sucked as well as why she was good, what I learned from the relationship, what I'm going to recognize in the future so that I can find a better women, etc. Life is a learning experience, you cant just completely ignore it. Like /u/chivalry_augustus says, we're not nihilists.

After youve taken 5 minutes to really think about it, you get up, move on with your life and get back to the shit that really matters. If it happens again, sit down and meditate on why youre thinking of her: do you want a relationship, do you have too much time on your hands? Problem solve it so that you can learn from it and get on with real shit.

2014-02-23T23:15:41+00:00

I have that too from exes, perhaps not in the same way.

I did realise over time that I just wanted to fuck them, actually thinking about spending time with those women again made the feeling that I was ''missing'' them go away.

TL;DR: Nostalgia, you remember things better than what they were.

3rt41 · 2014-02-24T10:06:10+00:00

best case: it will never go away.

Just keep yourself distracted with other women

2014-02-24T22:42:05+00:00

Fucking 13 women wouldn't help.

You've got to fuck 13 HOTTER women.

2014-02-24T01:41:35+00:00

Hook up with girls hotter than she was

AdmiralVonJackass · 2014-02-23T19:14:08+00:00

This is kind of weird to me. She's shitty in every way, but you still want her.

I'm feeling this ain't the whole story, but have some more respect for yourself. If she is really this shitty, you must not hold yourself in high esteem if she's what you think you deserve.

charlie_bodango · 2014-02-24T09:03:57+00:00

You could go see a hooker. Not even joking.

Evolved_Red · 2014-02-23T20:20:57+00:00

Not a dig at you OP, but I wonder if you're making the effort to go out and improve yourself / socialise?

I'm sure you've heard that old adage of "the best way to get over someone is to be under someone."

Go out and get some strange, or take up a damn hobby. When your mind is preoccupied, you won't be thinking about oneitis girl.

I know what it's like, I've been there and done that. Sometimes I wonder what she's up to, but these days it's only a couple of seconds cause I got other things WORTH thinking about.

Sturmgeist781 · 2014-02-23T18:30:25+00:00

Google : GFTOW

Sturmgeist781 · 2014-02-23T16:21:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Overcoming Oneitis.

Comments

2 is feminist speak. You came to the wrong subreddit mother fucker...

Title	Overcoming Oneitis.
Author	bama79rolltide
Upvotes	33
Comments	33
Date	February 23, 2014 4:09 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1yplfb/overcoming_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/overcoming-oneitis.11726 https://theredarchive.com/post/11726