Pedestalizing women is only a part of the general problem for me.

I realized I have been pedestalizing: my father, his work, getting my specialization and I also pedestalized some of qualities I could learn in my work (but I didn't learn them, instead I kept pedestalizing them in the past).

Have you ever thought "oh, those men are doing so exceptional and amazing stuff, I will never be one of them"? That's what I thought about many, many things. And this is bullshit, because if one man can do it, other man can probably do it too, this is just a matter of time (in general... practically, maybe not, but looking at things how they really are is not the same as pedestalizing them).

Another thing is rejection. In business, as my personal guru Steven Chandler says, there is no such thing as rejection. You toss a coin and your goal is to get 50 heads, how do you do that? By tossing the coin. You don't do magic, you don't pedestalize heads, you toss the coin enough times. There is no such state like "being rejected", this is just a thought, a false one. I understood this last week about women... when I ask a woman if she will go with me for a date and she refuses, this does not mean anything about me, this is purely her decision. Of course, that I could improve myself here and there, but she rejecting me is not actually a bad thing for me, directly.

As an exercise, today I looked at the women I was passing by and analyzed, if they are interesting to me, if they are attractive. Guess what. There were more unattractive ones. Not that I am picky or something like that, I just want a woman with looks I personally find special, I have been cured of looking for a woman with looks from a magazine.

On the other hand, no wonder, that I got rejected so many times if I approached women I weren't really interested in, in the first place. "Dude, don't you see, that I am not for you?"

So, whatever. Fuck SMV, fuck the image of the attractive woman as shown by the media. I'm gonna find myself a woman with looks that I like. And then, I'm gonna talk to her and look for the red flags. Because looks is not everything.

This evening, I was driving in my car, thinking about my past, rejections by women, broken relationships, and I started feeling so sad, lonely and miserable... and suddenly, I shaked it off. I looked around me. It is a beautiful April evening. I was listening to a new dnb CD and it sounded really great. I was driving through the night in my city, passing by the street lights. It was so awesome. So much cool things around me, just for me. It was so awesome. And then I realized, that if I keep thinking all those sad things I thought just a while ago, not even Angelina Jolie in the passenger seat is going to save me.

Everything was in my head. Taking a look at this, fixing my thoughts, this is way more important than anything else.

Thank you!