Re-establishing value with an ex.

RPstudent · 2013-10-02T15:41:16+00:00

She will also view you as low value, because you still want her. You were by your own admission higher value before you dated. But despite the wardrobe upgrade, gym work, new job and hobbies, you still see her as a catch. Even though you "quite frankly" were higher value than she was.

Go out, approach, nurture some potentials, start spinning plates, re-establish your value by not giving a fuck what your ex thinks.

You have one-itis. There is a relatively easy cure. As Dr. /u/Guurzak will tell you fuck three girls and by then the problem will be gone.

x7CR7x · 2013-10-02T16:11:14+00:00

A chameleon that changes its colors, is still a chameleon. Become a lion.

Archwinger · 2013-10-02T17:38:07+00:00

Move on. Undoing the damage with this girl is more trouble than it's worth.

If you spend the next six months trying to position yourself within her field of vision doing alpha, manly, high value things, hoping she'll notice your alpha "indifference" that you're trying to discreetly direct toward her, you're just a beta pussy doing some things a website told you works for girls to try to save your past relationship.

When you're ready for real change, you'll stop worrying about women in general and start focusing on bettering yourself. Women are drawn to a guy who genuinely is an alpha male, not a putz pretending, trying a few tricks he learned on the internet, and hoping she sees him doing it. Moreover, when you start down the road of real change, you'll realize that this one girl was never worth it. There are other girls. Better girls. The world is huge. Just move on.

RedPillScare · 2013-10-02T18:24:15+00:00

The solution to re-establishing value with this woman is the very same thing that will cure your oneitis: date other women. When you have established both social proof and eliminated your scarcity mentality, you will no longer "smell" of desperation, and you will be plenty attractive to this ex.

Fortunately, you'll no longer be focused on her. When you know that there are many women with whom to share your company, and that a significant portion of them are more pleasurable than your ex, you'll be free to see her as she is.

phathack · 2013-10-02T21:12:52+00:00

This is a bad case of oneitis. She left you, the relationship is over and cannot be fixed no matter what you do she just not interested in you bluepill beta ways. You should never think of her again or make any attempt to contact her in any way. Again Forget about this one and move the fuck on, have you not learned anything from TRP?

She left you because you have a lot of personal things you need to fix in your life, oneitis being one problem. Once you get you shit together women will notice and they will want to be with you. Just remember women are everywhere, Keep you eyes open for the ones that have an interest in you and stop chasing what you think is a lost love.

gg_s · 2013-10-02T21:40:44+00:00

I've really changed the way I view relationships and know I handled that one like shit.

Yeah, and now it's time to move on to the next one and do better.

In my experience telling people this never works though, you're going to have to learn it for yourself. To get back with her though you're really going to need to re-establish a strong frame where she's chasing you and wants you back, not the other way around. To do that you're going to need to dramatically increase your value and stop chasing her. Chase other women and start spinning plates, the power of pre-selection will do the rest for you as long as you keep working on yourself as a man.

So keep hitting the gym, keep practicing guitar, keep improving your wardrobe (and don't neglect to make sure your hair looks good from the sides and back, as well as the front) and spin some plates. If you still want her in a few months then she'll be putty in your hands, but you'll probably realise fast enough that she's not as good as you made her out to be.

dandeezy · 2013-10-02T22:39:01+00:00

A month is not nearly enough. Wait a year. Fuck hotter girls, dump them. Do not ever contact her again. Refuse her if she wants you back, but be nice and alpha if she says hi .

toysjoe · 2013-10-02T22:41:49+00:00

If you really REALLY and I mean REALLY want her back, the most powerful weapon in your arsenal is to simply date someone else.

Preferable someone else in you social circle, someone that she can see you going out and being happy with.

Women are incredibly jealous creatures. A friend of mine was dating a girl. She dumped him. He didn't give a fuck and went out with other girls. She got jealous as fuck and now they've been married for years in a very healthy relationship.

RedSunBlue · 2013-10-03T01:10:41+00:00

Women are replaceable. Do not root through your garbage.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7

It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

aescetic · 2013-10-03T13:16:08+00:00

I'm going through the somewhat the same emotions right now. I probably went somewhat bluepill too. I was engaged for 2.5 years until Sunday night. I supported her through law school for the past 2 years (300km LDR). I also co-signed an $80k student loan because nobody else could and I thought we were getting married.

As much as I wish it wasn't over, it is. I realize that the only chance I have of rekindling anything is if I move on quickly and don't let it affect me. I'm going to be hitting on girls this weekend. I want to go full redpill and I have the opportunity to do that now.

Kepaso · 2013-10-02T16:26:51+00:00

one itis problem

aescetic · 2013-10-03T02:29:04+00:00

So basically in my past, I dated a girl I had genuine feelings for. Before we dated I displayed higher value (because quite frankly I was), but once we started dating I became blue pill as fuck, and she ended up leaving me because of my insecurities.

It happens. Be glad that you are able to see it now for what it is rather than make excuses or wallow in self-pity/anger.

Now it's been about a month, and I've had no contact with her whatsoever, but I Still want her

You haven't told us what kind of person she was nor the circumstances around your breakup, but getting back together with an ex rarely ends up with a happier ending than before.

aescetic · 2013-10-03T06:06:24+00:00

Say the word "next" out loud. Seriously. Say it out loud. Grow a backbone and become an independent being that doesnt rely on the validation of a fucking girl. Especially one that denied you already. MOVE ON OP. Fuck more girls.

2013-10-03T12:39:07+00:00

God you seem whiny, everything new you are doing is for her, do it for yourself - no one else.

James_Coook · 2013-10-04T00:54:16+00:00

Life is too short to be recycling chicks bro. Just let it be a lesson for future relationships. Go out, spin plates and if she comes back she does and if she doesn't ca la vie.

3rt41 · 2013-10-04T13:30:20+00:00

You are pretty much fucked. Also, this very topic you opened certifies the fact that you are still on the way to recovery from being full beta.

Title	Re-establishing value with an ex.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	41
Date	October 2, 2013 3:21 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1nl4zr/reestablishing_value_with_an_ex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/re-establishing-value-with-an-ex.7005 https://theredarchive.com/post/7005

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