Redpill me on my LTR's episodic behavior

[–]H42 12 points12 points12 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]mrmeyhemn1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]mrmeyhemn1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 0 points0 points0 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Pretty sure Canada has Common Law and we are legally common law after 8 years.

She makes a lot more money than me, but runs her own brick & mortar business that has huge overhead, so she really only makes the equivalent of 15 to 20k more than me... which at the higher tax brackets doesn't make a HUGE difference.

Thing is, as I stated elsewhere in the thread.. She is the Red Pill woman and has been very reasonable with me otherwise... Separate bank accounts, never tell me how to spend money, let me blow money on drums, guitars, TVs, cars, etc... Everywhere else I look is cuckville... Guys making as much or more than me, wife has their bank card and they are on allowance. My LTR has always been stand-up when it comes to finances. If I was in a bind and said "I need $1000.00 I'll pay you back at the end of the month" the money would be in my hand in 5 minutes, and vice versa... Things have always been equitable and even-stephen

Since I'm not a piece of shit, I DO owe her her fairshare of the equity (there's plenty there.)

There are only 2 problems:

House prices are almost DOUBLE what they were 10 years ago... so I won't be living in a house alone... and won't be rushing into a relationship to get a room-mate either.
Lots of late 20's early 30's chicks around me who know their value is not too high... But what am I in for? Cuck ville ? Get rid of your drums , get rid of your car , or even worse ... glued to you 24x7 looking for entertainment and stimulation full time from me... forcing me to give up my hobbies : woodworking, music, playing around with Unreal/Unity on the PC ... i.e. TimeSink ....

I lucked out with the current LTR because she is red pilled as an individual.. runs a business, is working long hours every day, volunteers to organizations and has a couple close girlfriends she goes out for shopping and dinners with... Which allows me to keep control of my money and relax ...

The Episodes are concerning because they seem to be becoming more frequent the older she gets and makes me worry about the future.

[–]mrmeyhemn1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

your oneitis is showing. shes not a unicorn. you got those things because you held frame. you can still have those things if you hold frame. the reason you see that happening to other guys is because they enter the womans frame.

women don't LET you do anything, you do or you dont. its all about frame.

stop telling yourself you are lucky. you know you're not, thats why you want out.

edit: why would you consider staying with her with this reoccurring problem? the reason i stayed with mine so long was for companionship/friendship and sex. when it was good, it was good. when it was bad, it was really fucking bad. the frequency of bad got higher and higher.

i can have better quality companionship/friendship with male friends (we have more common interests) and better quality sex with dtf bar women and/or escorts should i so choose. all with much less headache than what i was putting up with for the "benefit" of having a ltr.

its all about the benefit/cost analysis.

when a woman "isn't happy" and takes half of a mans stuff, no one looks down on it because "you go girl you deserved it for putting up with him." so i tell you, fuck what people think, you deserve it for putting up with her for all those years.

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You of course are correct on all terms.

I am more attached to this house and my private lifestyle than I am the idea of any relationships. I was making 6 figures at my old job 2 years ago and could have just stayed here by myself... or sold the place and bought another place and live by myself.

She is not taking half of my stuff, she knows how to make money and take care of herself and is very red pilled in the house of finances, regardless of what anyone wants to think. The agreement on this property was always even-stephen, and every time the topic has come up there has been no back tracking....

She has even offered to BUY the house from me! She is not out to screw me over and does indeed really like me, that's why I am strongly considering there is a medical problem. She has been having weird physical "fits" in her sleep, and has been smashing and grinding her teeth and literally sighing and whining in her sleep without waking up... Something has happened, is happening, but since she is red pilled like a guy when it comes to work and finance, she refuses to take care of herself or go to a Doctor and just works herself to the bone.

Especially agree with your last sentence. She is surrounded by human filth egging her on. My favourite is the whore who years ago was always batting her eyelashes at me, posting incessantly on my facebook and was full out playing a game with my LTR... She was trying to see if she could "steal her man" (no real interest in me)... Fast forward 5 years and that bitch is her echo chamber "You're right. You're right" Yeah

[–]mrmeyhemn1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You are touching on what is making me so fearful of future dating... If I boil it down it seems like my choices are late 20's chicks who are DTF with who knows what baggage .... or early 30's single mothers.

There is a single mother at my work right now who is around my age and she is hot as fuck, drives me crazy... She is craving cock hard but obviously looking for more. She is in thousands of dollars of clothes and jewellery every single day... which is a major Red Flag for me... as I don't provide things like that regardless if I could afford them :)

See this is the problem ... Part of me feels like a kid in a candy shop.. super excited at fresh sex and some adventures after a decade... but after 15 seconds the Red Pill kicks in and it's just endless baggage... Endless Baggage with everyone

[–]mrmeyhemn0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (0 children) | Copy Link

thats why i don't date, i go to bars on occasion and bar hop, approaching women and being very direct. i don't always score but when i do they are just crazy enough for it to be good. sometimes it was the 20something with 0 kids, sometimes the 30something with kids, never considered "settling down", i just did me. i did this for 8 years solid then listened to my bp friends/family because i didn't want to "end up old and alone". then i met what i thought was an awesome woman at an event and dated her, eventually we moved in and lived together for 2 years, she was a single mom. the baggage was overwhelming, her emotional state was unstable (exactly as you described in your op), so i got out.

now im back to the bar hopping once or twice a month and it works out. no dry spells lasting over a few months. its not daily/weekly sex but im ok with that. i just like to know that ive "still got it", so every now and then is enough.

i don't want long term, long term costs me to much time and money. and for what? a person that will not reciprocate the emotional/financial investments that i make in them.

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah. I don't hate her, she doesn't hate me... but I can't handle this any more.

The Red Pill is real because, well I knew it was real already, but first time I put it into practice... After dealing with this recurring behaviour, I tend to just shut down... Don't get faggy or beta or wierd, I just focus on my job and the shit I gotta do, side gigs, making money, relaxing and getting enough sleep.... After weeks of things being quiet like this she starts complaining about the relationship and says it's time to break up.

Without hesitation I agree and we go forth amicably (lucky for me shes not a retarded psycho.) So what's curious is that when I actually hold frame and go through with it... she becomes submissive and works her way back in.

Oh, Red Pill.

She's pretty much dead to me, my only concern is- How to bother going through any of this again with anyone else. I'm almost 35, this isn't "go spin plates" I'm white, very tall and attractive with a beautiful house, BMW, and great job... but I'm no spring chicken. Women everywhere are on their best behaviour to impress me at all times over the last 7 years because that's how they instinctively behave when they see you have a woman and success locked down... but now that I'm facing being single for the first time in over 10 years, it feels like too much work.

TL;DR - Cost of living is very high in my country and I'm not into living with "dudes" and carrying on like a fuck. Generally speaking women make fantastic room-mates when they're not fucking other guys (not saying they have to be in a relationship with me either.)

Just don't have time for any of this B.S. as I started a new job at the beginning of this year, and don't have any extra time or energy to be dealing with pointless bullshit at home.

[–]mrmeyhemn4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]mrmeyhemn1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Tofitrightin 3 points3 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

She's pretty much dead to me, my only concern is- How to bother going through any of this again with anyone else. I'm almost 35, this isn't "go spin plates" I'm white, very tall and attractive with a beautiful house, BMW, and great job... but I'm no spring chicken

You don't know how well off you are then. You would end up with a much younger woman without even having to try that hard. I'm 45, and married, so I'm out of it, but I have friends of lower value than me and quite frankly they are swimming in it right now.

One had to turn off his phone at night because the eharmony app kept buzzing (hes getting married to a MAJOR upgrade from his ex-wife now). Unless you are going for women in their early 20's, they know their value is down. Starting over at 35 is easy if you are child free.

Your choices are start over or deal with psycho for the rest of your life if it works, or divorce at some point.

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff0 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]fadetoblack10042 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah, I hear you.

I'm a Big Boy. I get plenty of ego stroking at work, out in public, and in my hobbies and projects which have brought great joy to my friends, myself, and generated all the side money I could ever need for beer and going out for dinners etc-

I don't ever look to her for validation, and don't need my ego stroked or anything like that... Basically ultimate frame. I think it really bothers her that I am not vulnerable and able to be controlled like that... as she is constantly telling me I'm arrogant and over-confident (yet I don't receive this feedback from my colleagues, upper management, or friends, and have routinely been applauded for how open to feedback I am, and how willing I am to accept criticism and adapt to people's personalities and needs.)

She never has the opportunity to make any comments, because my frame is unwavering, so I've noticed she takes any opportunity she can to mock and slam men who do need validation from women... either overhearing it or retelling a story about a friend... and when she is talking about this, it's in a very condescending tone filled with mockery, as if to Shit Test my frame... Trying to get a rise or a reaction out of me.... and I can tell it bothers the shit out of her that it doesn't register :)

I've never figured it out, or rather I've never had the time to really bother. She comes from a broken home, but a broken home from the 70's and early 80's... i.e. minimal insanity compared to today's antics.

[–]kalstate1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I like where you're coming from.

She's very much like me where she despises weakness and victimhood, and people who are quick to diagnose, self diagnose and get doped up on meds... neither of us take meds.

She has mentioned a few times in the last year in a self reflective state "I wonder if I have some kind of depression?" or "I wonder if it's my diet"... Because SHE HAS THESE EPISODES WITH OTHER PEOPLE.... BUT the difference is of course... She feels really bad about it when it effects other people :) Your man at home is always the punching bag. She has these outbursts with her Mother, her employees from time to time, and her girlfriends even once or twice in the last few years.... Thats again why I'm not taking it personally (also I'm not Beta so don't take things personally from anyone, ever)

Her diet is very clean this year with lots of eggs and salad, low caffeine etc... and she got on amino-acid supplements for a month but stopped because her hands were turning a bit red LOL (some female iron or anemia issue?)

I should also mention she has gone to a counsellor on her own, and he has called her out on everything and told her exactly what to do, and given some good advice to her... but deep down she still thinks she knows everything better than everyone and doesn't attempt to implement any of his suggestions.

[–]kalstate1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad you took note. I would bet my car that she's low on some micro-nutrients. Our food supply is fucked right now. I've gone through the mood cure (doctor's orders), and made suggestions to my family and ex-girlfriend. We've all benefited greatly.

As a cautionary side note: The amino acids recommended by the author can have scary side effects, so that's why you've got to get the advice and care of a MD or DO. In my personal opinion, The Mood Cure can be followed without the use of the Amino Acids (but following the rest of the book). Start with comprehensive blood work at the doctor's office. I was low on Vitamin D, Testosterone, and too high or low on a few other things. Women are very often also low on Iron, but the therapeutic index to fix it can be tricky (again, that's why I advocate the doctor approach).

Ultimately, for myself, a couple family members, and my ex-girlfriend, we only need a few basic supplements (not including amino acids, which, according to the author, are only intended to kick-start or reset the problem.) Most of us are taking some combination of: B-Complex, Vitamin-D, Magnesium (which helped me in particular), Omega-3, and a Daily Multi-Vitamin. Plus, of course, eating good food, eliminating junk-food, and lifting shit-tons of big-ass weights! Hope this helps..

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]kalstate0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Haven't heard of Alopecia Barbae until now. My knee-jerk bro-reaction is: we're men, we're not supposed to be pretty. Fuck it--let the girls obsess over their looks for us! They see us differently anyway. Do what you can with what you've got, and it really won't matter...it only matters if it matters to you--so, stop worrying about things that are outside your control. After all, we've all got something we wish we could fix...if not, we'd all be weak and pretty actors--but then we'd be in Scientology, and I'd rather be strong and ugly!

Also, I briefly read about it, and it seems like it's hereditary. There is a chance that it was caused, in part, by a surge of substance in the body, but I'm skeptical. Just based on statistics, I'm guessing your in the age group when this most commonly happens to people. Either way, I don't know any magic tricks.. Best to think of it as a war wound, and focus on things you can control/improve. Honestly, 99% of people wouldn't give a shit, and still think you're attractive. Forget about the shallow 1%--this could save you from their miserable company anyway..seriously.

My approach with any medication (supplements and pharmaceuticals) is to find the Minimum Effective Dose that works. Get to know your supplements (start with blood work), and know their side effects and therapeutic indices. This is important, because you want to feed yourself the right amount of nutrients. Just like too many or too few macro-nutrients is bad, too little, too much, and unnecessary micro-nutrients are also bad. Generally speaking, mega-doses of supplements is a bad idea--unless your body and the doctor says to take more (e.g., current USDA guidelines for Vitamin-D is off by a factor of 10, and none of their bullshit accounts for individual differences!). For me, I was able to find the right doses by blood work and trial and error. It's work, but of course it's my body, so it's worth the effort of learning and knowing how to take better care of it. Interestingly, when I am lifting heavily, I need to increase my Minimum Effective Dose for some supplements by 50 percent, otherwise I can feel the lack of micro-nutrients. In summary, after several months of really getting to know my body, now, whenever I feel crummy, and I know EXACTLY why, and I can fix it within minutes! The main point is: don't overdose, but don't under-dose either.

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Great advice!

Yeah I'm not super vain at all... I have just literally worn a glorious Riker beard my entire life... now all of a sudden I can't. I definitely look younger and cleaner so ironically I probably look more attractive.... I just love a good beard.

Apparently this alopecia thing can be thyroid or autoimmune or some shit, Im not a hypochondriac by any means... but my body is very stable at all times... Once in a blue moon when I get some change like this it really freaks me out temporarily and makes me wonder if there is a sinister underlying cause... If you searched Alopecia Barbae then you see how there's literally no information.

I've seen no one in my family with it ever. They also say huge levels of stress (below but approaching PTSD) can cause this to happen, and I did get layed off from a super high paying management job that I had for 7 years right before this happened to me, so I am hoping it's just that and I'm not dying :)

[–]Black-Pill1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Sounds pretty Iron Pill to me. This is exactly what I'm trying to get at.

I seem to be getting stellar feedback from actual grown men that know what LTRs and a successful life is actually like...

My instinct tells me this goes beyond women being a clusterfuck, and that it might be medical... the early onset of something as you have suggested.

The answer is No. I guess that makes me an asshole, but I don't feel bad. If my LTR was in an accident and had to be in a wheelchair for years, I'd be by her side every day. If she was hospitalized for some huge amount of time I would remain faithful and not cheat.... BUT the second we start talking pharmacological or psychiatric anything... I'M OUT... like the Wiley Coyote smoke silhouette.

Fuck. That. Shit. I look at my parents generation ,folks 70 and heading into their 70s, and the abuse they put up with from a woman who's mind has been scrambled by pharmacologicals for years... NO THANKS!

[–]Black-Pill1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

When I was first out on my own many years ago, I made all sorts of bad decisions with women just get the crazy sex experiences... worth it in the end, but I learned back then just how crazy shit can get with girls that are officially on meds... and like I said, seen enough with the older generations to know I don't want that for myself.

I'm really trying to get over my current house and the effort I put into making everything perfect for me, my workshop, recording studio - not bragging.. It's just all these things I've worked hard for and fought hard to have... and I'm not exactly going to lose it... but it's all going to be packed up for who knows how long... and who likes the feeling of "starting over" anyways...

I'm really warming up to it though. This year has been hell, ever since I got back to work at a new job after huge local layoffs... It's been hell with her. She's very jealous of how she perceives it "was easy" for me to just sit around with a severence package waiting to get a new job... Misery loves company and bitches are miserable as fuck. She wants me to live and breathe the stresses of her running her own business and being at the mercy of deadbeat employees, etc... No thanks... This is the only thing I can identify as the catalyst that has antagonized her underlying condition this year

[–]Black-Pill1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That is fucking crazy man. Great advice though.

Let me tell you the steps I've taken so far:

As indicated, year has been hellish with intensity increasing/decreasing in waves, currently in a lull.
After the episodes of May I stopped lying to myself and became fully committed to moving on spiritually
Started to realize this has been my life for almost 10 years, everything I've done.. the attachment I have to my property, and the things I love doing (like not wasting money on rent)
Stopped mentioning her casually in conversation to anyone, my time out of the house at work is spent in Single mentality and putting effort into increasing socialization with women in general

I only told my best friend all of this. That was about a month ago, I let him mull around with it for a bit as I got used to this being the new dynamic.

I then realized how isolated (not on purpose) I have become from the world having a good job and "Stable relationship" for a decade. I didn't have Facebook or go out casually or anything really the whole time.

Started a Facebook account last week and added my friends and set my relationship status to Single. I didn't say anything but people were asking why I was there since I verbally speak so badly about Facebook all the time. I took those opportunities to mention I am no longer in a relationship and looking to sell my house. People have been chill and only the odd person has started IMing me asking for info.

It's going to be very clean... no one is going to create any problems for me. I'm definitely going to follow your advice and severe all ties with her, but I am going to let that be a surprise for her. I have to live with her right now and am able to hold frame... She is already starting to be submissive and work her way back into old routines with me, etc, so I have to play it neutral until I figure out how this house sale is going down, and where Im going to live.

[–]Black-Pill1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Trust me I'm no big fan, but try to understand where I'm coming from with the isolation. The worst thing for me would to be isolated. I work in the tech sector, and all of my contacts of the last 20 years are tech people... it's the way to stay in the loop with them... and just have light hearted conversations like the games showcased at E3 this week... I haven't added any women, or family, nor would I use it in such a way... It's just a life raft to have a light hearted social life, since chums use that shit to make plans for dinners, drinking, etc.

She is not quite as evil and mentally ill as it seems after this big thread... It's more the beginning of it. She is a very public well known community business leader in our city... the last thing she wants is public drama either... for the most part she is being just as cunning and cold-hearted as a man would be... its just those moments in private where she has become submissive again due to my frame.

I am only trying to keep it that way so I have minimal turbulence while trying to sort out my house and future living accomodations

P.S. Pregnancy not possible for multiple reasons, which is great-

[–]Black-Pill1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]KylarSovari0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff3 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Redpillthriller0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That's subjective when you're both high earners, as I said her overhead is huge, some months she does well and blows me out of the water, other months she makes less than me.

You'd be lucky to make the money I do and have the freedom and material posessions I do, the house, the cars, and getting to do whatever I want within reason... a job where I can come and go as I please and work whenever I want during the day.

This is that one issue in my life that needs solving. I'm open to it. Red Pill is so based, but it's only a matter of time before trolls come out on these threads and start projecting their insecurities, calling OP a woman, Beta, etc etc..

Man up and show wisdom instead of making asinine comments... Also man up and learn how to do basic chores from time to time. I wasn't a faggot neet and moved out on my own at 21 didn't have anyone to do my laundry for me, had to do it myself.

Now I have really expensive clothes and the last thing I need is some dumb bitch stuffing them in the machine, not knowing what goes together, throwing shit willy-nilly in the dryer ruining the collars, or leaving it in the washing machine for 24 to 36 hours and it starts smelling like your clothes

[–]SleepNowMyThrowaway-1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ZombieKristenPfaff1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Title	Redpill me on my LTR's episodic behavior
Author	ZombieKristenPfaff
Upvotes	4
Comments	42
Date	June 17, 2015 2:35 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3a47ol/redpill_me_on_my_ltrs_episodic_behavior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/redpill-me-on-my-ltrs-episodic-behavior.33734 https://theredarchive.com/post/33734

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