Summary: Recently I've been bombarded with e-mails about cuddly giver behavior and how it supposedly works in some relationships. Similar posts appeared in one Polish forum I read. I really, really, really want to think that it's one guy under multiple aliases but if it's not the case I committed an article to link to.

 

The subject was that not all guys in relationships are alpha and manly. Some of them tell their women repeatedly that they love them, call them "honey", "sweetie", express their feelings in public (and social media), shower them with gifts and the girls are still in love with them! That means everything said by either The Red Pill or PUA circles is wrong! Right?

 

First wrong assumption: male SMV is constant.

I'd say that you enter a relationship with a base level of SMV (sexual market value). Whatever you do changes the balance. You improve yourself, make money, become more popular - you gain value. You shower her with unnecessary attention and gifts - you spend your SMV on her. The number one mistake that guys make is they stop gaming the girl after sex/relationship/marriage. And their SMV starts to leak.

Now if you're one of those very popular guys your high starting point enables you to waste your SMV for a very long time. But when the girl actually starts to measure you (and sooner or later - she will) - you'll be broke in her eyes. Don't be that guy.

I've never seen a women who respected beta guy who was sweet and nice. There are many books on that exact topic and hundreds of examples everywhere around you. But it isn't enough for my troll. Cause he once was a badass and the girl left him for a guy who is now posting "I love you" messages on her Facebook wall.

 

Second wrong assumption: there are universal rules cause every girl is the same.

Big warning: all girls are the same in that they'll always try to find best mate and they'll leave anyone for better choice without any regrets. All girls are the same cause they emotions work in the same way and they get tingles from the same things. That being said there are no universal rules that can get you every girl. That's why PUAs always stress calibration part of pickup. You have to adapt to that particular girl.

And there are exceptions to every rule. There are girls who aren't feminine, weirdos or chicks with problems. But if you're giving general advice on pickup and sexual strategy (as TRP & PUAs do) you focus on what works for the majority.

Pickup is numbers game in one way: there are things that usually work and things that never work. By doing the former and avoiding the latter you maximize your chances with general population of girls. But you might hit the genetic lottery with one chick while her friend won't even look at you. For your friend situation might be totally opposite. "Game" works on girls in between those extremes but there's no escape from whether or not you're attractive to that particular girl.

Because our troll thinks that if sending "I love you" publicly is met with "I love you too" that means girl is in love and will be with that guy forever.

 

Third wrong assumption: rules of male-female relationships are instantaneous.

In respect to the whole pickup, cold approaching - yes, the rules works right there and then. Either you'll manage to attract a girl (maybe even right away) or you won't. But as it's already been said in relationship you need to sustain SMV high enough for her to stay with you (that his: higher than all other available guys around her).

It isn't about how the relationship is right now. Some of them may last in those for years if their SMV (sexual market value) is high enough. But no women will be with a weak man for her life if she has other options. She'll either a) cheat b) let herself go c) lose respect for the guy d) start nagging him e) try to catch him with a child and make him her wallet f) leave him for a better catch g) combination of above scenarios. Whatever happens right now isn't a prediction for the future.

 

Fourth wrong assumption: you know everything about other people relationships.

You never know how the relationship looks like from the inside. I've witnessed with my own eyes a huge "alpha" guy with little wife who – as it turned out - hasn't had sex in months. Yet, they're perfect couple for everyone else. I've seen a girl cheat on a guy for many years and yet they were not only couple but to all around - also friends.

On the other hand - guy that publicly express feelings and shower girl with gifts might be a millionaire who fucks her every night until she passes out. I doubt that's my troll's case. Again - in general - guys are not rich nor hung. They're average and even if they constantly improve themselves they just can't act like an international movie star.

And I doubt that even the stars let themselves go while in relationships. It's all about mindset - the girl is with me, cause I'm awesome. Why should I even give her anything if letting her be with me is the greatest gift of all?

 

You'll never know whether anything works unless you try it yourself. Repeatedly.

That might be a rant (it certainly is mental masturbation) but if anything is to be taken from this post it's this: what Manosphere, PUA and The Red Pill is about is sexual strategy. Strategies are not universal but they're repeatable. Try them by yourself, don't rely on others. And don’t expect them to work every single time.

 

Lessons learned:

  • You can't get every girl.
  • There are exceptions to every rule...
  • ...but the rules are what works in majority of cases.
  • Any advice is built around what works generally (not universally).
  • Even when you witness an exception you probably don't have enough information about the case.