Still too scared

Talkshitgethit · 2013-07-29T00:34:06+00:00

You have to embrace awkwardness. When you're first starting out, you will fail more times than you succed and your approaches WILL BE AWKWARD. That's just the way it is. The road to being successful is always built with hard, awkward, and weird first steps. Stop putting pussy on a pedestal, you screw up bad with a woman? Who gives a shit? There are literally billions around the world. Plus, after being rejected after a while, you no longer become outcome dependent and can have fun picking up. And from there you're just out having fun and getting practice at the same time. With anything you do, when you first start out, it's going to be hard. You just have to keep trying and keep working.

Remember, if you don't take risks in life, you don't deserve to be successful. There is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs.

IllimitableMan · 2013-07-29T01:12:19+00:00

Girls shit, stink and have crippling self esteem issues. There. Go forth with that knowledge and conquer.

DaddyMonster · 2013-07-28T20:14:04+00:00

Desensitize yourself to it over time using smaller steps. Don't throw yourself into the fire right away. Start small. For example, chat up waitresses and such, and attend house parties where you know almost everyone save for just a few. Chat with the girls you don't know, and keep it light. Remember, you're not trying to pick them up, you're practicing. This is important, because it gives you a sense of outcome independence.

Over time, you'll get more comfortable doing it in new environments and places you previously weren't comfortable in.

RedSunBlue · 2013-07-29T01:58:13+00:00

In addition to the other advice here, I highly recommend heavy resistance training and diet optimization because it will lower the learning curve of game in several ways:

Increased testosterone will boost your confidence and make you more prone towards risk-taking behavior, e.g., approaching strange women.
A lean and muscular frame is very attractive to women. If a woman is already attracted to you before you talk to her, your advances will be met with more positive responses. You may even get a couple freebies.
Dressing well is much easier when you already have a masculine frame. Remember, most fashion is a smoke-and-mirrors game meant to make you look like you have broad shoulders and a slim waist.
The combination of the above factors will ultimately lead you to more game success. Success begets confidence, which begets game, which begets success.

By all means, continue going out and being social, but you should also spend a significant amount of time integrating fitness and diet into your lifestyle. The combination of Game and stellar health can quickly become a self sustaining cycle of positive reinforcement

There is a point of diminishing returns, but unless you already look like an MMA fighter, chances are that point is a long ways off.

The_PUA_Punanny · 2013-07-29T01:38:39+00:00

When you place them too high above you, you intimidate yourself and don't approach.

When you place them too low, you are disgusted and don't approach.

They have to be in your Goldilocks Zone.

an area of space in which a planet is just the right distance from its home star so that its surface is neither too hot nor too cold.

Rrkn · 2013-07-28T23:08:14+00:00

Take a ride over to /r/seduction, and check out the side bar. The resources there have really helped me. But overall, just remember that you are an awesome dude, and people should want to get to know you! If not, then it's their loss really.

2013-07-29T01:50:22+00:00

Are you having very strong anxiety?

I recommend get theanine as a supplement. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theanine

This should lower your anxiety. It won't make you approach, but if you experience some feeling of dread or something, it ought to calm that right down.

That said, you will still need to make an effort to approach.

favours_of_the_moon · 2013-07-29T04:43:39+00:00

Kamikaze Night!

hasonish · 2013-07-29T09:54:46+00:00

You're worrying too much about what people think, and you're expecting too much from simple interactions. Women are just people, just like you or me or anyone. There's absolutely nothing special about them anymore than anyone else. You have to demolish that pedestal that you're putting them on.

Now, if you're having trouble finding things to talk about, that's a bit different. Experience was pretty much the only way I learned to handle small talk and learn how to keep the conversation flowing. Just gotta try sometimes and see where it goes. Asking a lot, but you have to start somewhere. I'll give you a tip though, if you're funny/witty, you'll have it much easier.

Need to stop worrying about it so much. If they enjoy talking with you, then they enjoy talking with you. If not, then oh well, it's just not gonna work, move on and keep doing you.

2013-07-29T13:18:18+00:00

Get your mates together in a bar and play a game where you all have to pick a girl and an opening line for whichever person's "turn" it is. This usually results in hilarity and will pretty much kill approach anxiety.

Exactly_what_I_think · 2013-07-28T20:39:23+00:00

You need some or even A sample that it works. It for you just like it dose for the rest of us.

Go to a different town where you know no one and be RedPill.

MrStinky · 2013-07-29T02:44:49+00:00

This is just what you are looking for

2013-07-29T17:44:59+00:00

Low self-esteem?

Yes. Don't feel too bad though, I'm in the same boat.

legendofpasta · 2013-07-29T15:49:23+00:00

Start by talking to cashiers and old people. Move to younger people and females. Move to 6's, 7'a, 8's, then 9's, then 10's.

Talk to everyone. Resolve to never have a quiet elevator ride.

Read how to win friends and influence people

Source: guy who has fucked dozens of women, and routinely picks up.

Title	Still too scared
Author	JenzelWashington
Upvotes	5
Comments	23
Date	July 28, 2013 7:52 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1j8bt7/still_too_scared/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/still-too-scared.5938 https://theredarchive.com/post/5938

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