Hey guys,

I am a 32 year old male. Currently spinning 2 plates with another one on and off from time to time. I study and work. Have hobbies and work out. I look good and am frequently lauded on how elegant I look.. (by guys.. but still 😂)

I am also pretty joyful: I smile a lot, tell a lot of jokes and when I meet someone in the street, I smile in a friendly way and say hi. If we both slow down, we talk for a bit. What can I say.. I like people eheh. That said, I do feel my convos are a bit.. dry. I tell stories and try to paint pictures with words but sometimes I am just factual. Sometimes I bust people's balls but it's hit or miss: some don't get it, others look at me like I'm from another planet and others laugh and take it well. These are the very minority but I feel they're the higher quality/more confident people.

I am no pushover but I can be diplomatic: I help my friends when I can, if it doesn't interfere with my accomplishing my goals. I don't feel like doing something for someone, I tell them so or ignore them, if I don't feel I owe the person asking anything; if I don't dislike this person, I point them to someone who might help them. At all times I try to keep the facade that I care.

That said, I have noticed, specially when talking to females, that I am seen as the prototypical nice guy: there is something about the way I carry myself that makes them see me that way. As a "gentleman". As the piggybank; the dude they'll have kids with and who'll bankroll the whole endeavor. I think they feel it eve before I open my mouth. Example: went to a club recently. Began talking to a girl there. She was part of a three persons set: 2 girls, 1 bloke. I had spoken for about 10 seconds and she shot me down with something like "I am not interested". I hadn't even began to "warm up": it clearly was a "preemptive attack". She ended up going home with a bald bloke that looked like a Brazilian street musician that peddles drugs as a side gig. (Her rejection didn't stop me from chatting up her friend. As soon as she saw her friend fancied me, she interrupted us, gave me her number, told me to call her and off she went to the other guy.. I did not call her, obviously. I ended up bedding her friend later that night. Don't let this little anecdote fool you though: I am very unsuccessful in this real).

I have other similar stories of times when I was not so lucky and there were no easy friends of the girl that rejected me around. What all those other stories have in common is that there is always some other dude around that has a more aggressive appearance or is in fact more aggressive/assertive.

What is the connection between the past paragraphs you might ask. Well, I believe I might have inadvertently stumbled upon a problem: I don't present myself as being minimally aggressive and assertive and when I open my mouth I reenforce that perception. It might just be a question of market placement: maybe I'm appealing to a market segment that prefers long term relationships and guys that look sophisticated. What's your take on this? Have you faced a similar problem? How did you solve it?