I was redpill my whole life, i found this sub 2-3 months ago and omg.. It's one of the best things i've discovered in my life. I seriously dont know where would i be without you guys.love you guys.

I consider myself pretty introvert alpha but i knew one thing about me . ONE fucking thing that would get my brain fucked-up , make me go ape-shit , feel sorry for myself , being depressed and just well... a shameful beta. And that thing was the following, WHENEVER I GOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP I WAS A DEAD-MAN. I WAS A BORING STUPID CHUMP WHO SECOND GUESSED HIMSELF AND WOULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HOW OTHERS SEE HIM. And then she came around she was my classmate and we were basically the 2 single alphas in the classroom of chodeness.We had chemistry , i was definetly attracted to her and god , i wanted to fuck her so bad , i still want to fuck this girl's brains out one day. Okay so 10th grade came along and she and i went out , she got basically drunk and confessed to me how she loved me , she wants only me yada yada. I knew this was bullshit but i accepted it. I went Bluepill , cause i thought i was cool or something. Keep in mind we are classmates.

For the next 4 month we would see each other only in the class , even there not much talking , saying hi to each other , exchange kisses maybe a hug here and there and thats fucking it. She had her group of friends. I had mine. Little did i know it would slowly destroy me . After i broke up with her it was the hardest shit i can remember it still is because we're in the same class.

She basically showed no depressiveness , no saddness , no "getting into her head" bullshit . She was just .. emotionless and happy. Laughing all the fucking time , getting attention , getting good grades while i was sitting on my ass looking at her , feeling sorry for myself , doing poorly in school. I was just depressed . And my classmated must have felt that. But i didnt care , i still dont care . I think letting yourself to be sad will heal your wounds much more quicker.My point is seeing her that she's not shoving any fucking emotions ate my fucking soul away. It blew my fucking brain. I couln't understand it . It was just so fuckign lame and pathetic. The only thing worse than being bluepill is being redpill and relapsing into bluepillness , that's some chode fuck.

Please guys for the love of god do not ever ever get into a relationship with your classmate/co-workor/peer/ who you see at a daily basis. It will destroy your soul. I keep improving , ignoring her , aproaching girls , going out socializing etc. But the fact that i have to see her day-by-day still brings up concerns for my sometimes.We still have 1 and a half year to go so i must not give up.

I just wanted to rent maybe warn somebody out there who is thinking about this. Feel free to comment