Used to be alpha...

The duck looks calm, a beautiful animal of nature above the water. Below, it's a constant battle to keep moving, but no one sees that, nor should they.

I was in a good life, largely on autopilot. when guys say they used to be alpha, and slowly became beta, this is usually what they mean. Life was great, plated a stripper and a fun plate I had on and off since she was 19-23. A white girl raised in a 3rd world country, and I'd still say it wasn't a bad choice. Upgraded her, ditched the stripper, and started living.

Here's where you don't have to be some betabux with a divorced dad to find the female imperative in your face. The military has been in a constant decline of masculinity since I joined. Most guys I know and like actively avoid female contact with co workers. There's just too many risks, and the comrade isn't there. think about that. The people serving have a cold distance from their service-mates, and not without good reason. the work-hard, play hard atmosphere that created energized, happy, and productive sailors has slowly degenerated into a work hard, stay out of trouble one. And sure enough, the people who could do better, did. Those who couldn't, stayed. Brain drain caused a ripple effect, and even those who didn't have better options would leave.

I won't get into the details how, but I ended up on the pointy end of some heavy administrative violence. A chief with his harem of female clerks, personal grudges, a CO sociopath, and now I'm facing a list of charges that would make Snowden blush. Takes a toll, ended up on SSRI's and a pretty healthy drinking problem. And I knew i would be cashing in all my good boyfriend points here, I needed a rock.

Yeah, if you don't know how this ends, you haven't been paying attention. And that was where I hit bottom, and where i found Red Pill. Sex was the bare minimum, I was frustrated, overweight, drinking and on anti anxiety meds. Her attitude towards me could only be described as disdain. therapist sounded like my mother. Listening, head nods, telling me how great I could be. Didn't do much, but got me out of work a few hours a week, so whatever.

then /u/rollo-tomassi, athol kay, /u/ianironwood and their writings changed all that. And i went from fat to fit.

Finished off a second degree, took some real risks legally that would have scared the old me shitless. Those charges? yeah, escalated and used the law to fight the kind of bullshit that has fucked over so many in the most unethical manner. What was usually a huge looming threat, walked down to a lesser, but painful punishment was the usual path. Nope, I'll put it up against prison time, I did my due diligence, did my research, and took risks. And this was when I learned men are risk takers, and for good reason. I'm not even mad at the players involved anymore, they gave me the tools to approach life with single minded fearlessness. And I'm currently killing it.

Relationship

Between the shit tests, disrespect, and other briffualt-behaviors, I also had a confession call at 3AM. I still will never know if it was trickle truth or not, not that it matters. My relationship was dead, and I had killed it. I developed a MAP down at MRP. Stepped up the 12 levels. While I was moving on, I had a sparring partner of shit tests right in front of me, and not wasting the opportunity. The pinnacle moment, and the point where I had proof that RP works, was during a date I had scheduled. Huge shit test, and she was staying home, assuming I would stay at home to placate her temper tantrum. I went out, had fun, sarged like my old days. Ended up in our buildings terrace hot tub with a half dozen french girls, with her staring at me with a face I couldn't describe, but i'm sure you could picture. It wasn't revenge, it was a revelation, how far I had come, and how a power shift in a relationship happens.

My main event soon followed. I was not prepared, hammered, usually how it happens. I cannot remember exactly what I said, but I know its theme. I'm moving onto greater things, if you're coming along, step in line and start acting right. The next morning was an amazing breakfast for me, and 3 months of comfort tests, sex, and her stepping up her game. It was like RPS post on flicking the light switch, only in reverse.

Since then, foot has never been off the gas. I learned by doing, I learned by trying, failing, and trying again. I learned by listening to what others did, and failed at. She steps up her game, I live like I was single. I still have some fun once in a while, and pay it forward to the others who aren't at a place yet where they have success. I save that old fatty photo now. I don't remember that guy, he's alien to me, and it's a constant reminder of not sliding back.

Lessons learned

While I read and learned a lot, I didn't think much. Thinking was what put me into the mess I was in. No my friends, it was time for action. I did things. I hit the gym, and I hit it hard. I internalized DGAF. I wouldn't think, because thinking was excuses. I wrote on masculinity and the red pill, it gathered my thoughts, spread knowledge, and helped others. I was prepared to let any and everything in my life go, and it guided my interactions. I didn't read a bunch of evo psych papers on how women gorillas cuck bonobos, I didn't watch TV and look for examples to tell me what to do. I fucking acted. I practiced game, And to this day, it miffs me when I see idiots on here talking about their thoughts, their theories, and such. Rollo took years of PUA and university to get his stuff up there, he put in the work. Watching Mad Men doesn't make you an alpha. Crying because you can't get hot blondes when you can't be bothered to get a haircut and some abs? Fuck you, we build men here, no time for children.

Here's a humbling takeaway for me in all this. When it comes to rock bottom stories on TRP/MRP? I'm not even near as bad as it can get. There's a lot of top tier guys who have come back from far worse, and do far better, so there's no excuse for anyone in here not to have made serious progress. I've been here almost 18 months now. the heavy lifting was the first 12.

Get to work son.