The Relationship Talk

Mahlyce · 2013-06-20T21:05:28+00:00

She is half-Korean, half-white, 7-8 with really high libido who cooks for me and cleans my apartment.

This is where I panicked and I'm pretty sure I made a mistake.

You depend on this girl. Don't be like that.

If she provides some intellectual stimulation that you can rarely find those days, where you guys stay up nights and talk about the fucking world not as male/female, but just 2 people with their own ideas and knowledge, then its okay to feel attachment/dependence on her.

However, dependence for cooking and sex (and status for dating a 7-8), you are just being lazy. If you can score 3 girls, you can easily get with 4 or 5.

RedPill isn't about getting laid and using women for sex. Its about being confident in your own choices of life and expecting those girl who want to be with you to understand and fit into that choice.

I would just tell her, plain and simple, that you don't want to get attached because you are still young and you want to have the freedom to be able to take advantage of opportunities wherever they are without being tied down by anything. On the plus side, you can offer her drama-free fun. Its her choice to make.

The biggest indicator for girls is how much do they want kids. If they are dead set on getting married and having kids (asian girls are under huge pressure from their parents to have kids, btw), expect this type of behavior at some point. If they are against them or don't really think about it, they will be way more stable and open to RedPill personality.

Rumble_in_the_Jungle · 2013-06-20T20:40:53+00:00

"It's complicated."

30303030303030 · 2013-06-20T21:08:02+00:00

I like you too and I think this could be something, let's not push to fast.
it's complicated
we have a lot of potential, I'd hate to lose you

Then she straight-up asked me "So are you seeing any other girls?"

I don't lie about these things as I'd hate to be lied to so something along "well, we haven't talked about being exclusive yet so I kept my options open as I wasn't sure how you felt". I think being slightly beta here won't hurt: "I didn't want to look to needy".

Ultimately you will have to (not really, you can lie and bullshit but I don't do it) bluntly say "I'm not interested in monogamous relationship. I like you very much, blah, blah, blah but I'm not ready to settle down".

Basically you want to keep harem members as long as possible but ultimately, you will very likely lose them unless they have boyfriends/husbands and are whoring themselves with you. You lose them for ~5-6 months to a year until they get bored with they beta boyfriend and want to "catch up".

[deleted] · 2013-06-20T21:39:48+00:00

Lying sucks.

If you're emotionally/intellectually attached to her, and you think there's good reason for that, there's nothing inherently awful about having an exclusive relationship. Just maintain self respect, and don't become a doormat—that's where almost all modern western men go wrong.

She deserves the truth about whether her partner is exclusive, just like you do. If you suspect she's only fucking you because she thinks you two are exclusive, either cut off the other girls for now, or cut off this one for now.

Nutz76 · 2013-06-21T17:06:04+00:00

So I sort of blanked on how I should respond. I said "Well I really like you, but I can't promise anything. I feel like we haven't been dating for very long but I'm really happy with what we have so far."

That's actually a pretty good response. A shorter, more concise version of that is "it's complicated" (h/t Heartiste).

Then she straight-up asked me "So are you seeing any other girls?" This is where I panicked and I'm pretty sure I made a mistake. I responded, "I don't have any plans to." Not only was my answer vague and evasive, but it was a bald-faced lie. I could tell she wasn't very happy with my response, but fortunately she didn't continue badgering me.

Uh oh. You shouldn't have lied. Another dodge would have been appropriate as it would have caused her to pine over you even more wondering what might be.

The thing with defacto/soft harems (dating multiple women) is that women are going to come and go. You need to be honest with them and be willing to let them go. You'd be suprised how many women will hate hate HATE sharing their man, but god damn are many women even more attracted and into you you because you have other women in your life. It's counter-intuitive, but it is what it is.

projectself · 2013-06-20T22:20:43+00:00

the correct answer is, "until I have a very specific talk with you saying otherwise, you should assume I am seeing and sleeping with other women".

Even if you are not, she should assume you are because if an opportunity comes your way you need to be free to pounce on it. Your mistake above lacks integrity and was very obviously a lie.

betaprime · 2013-06-21T02:28:14+00:00

You have no obligation to someone who obviously made a poor decision to open her legs so easily.

Space_Tourist · 2013-06-20T22:14:20+00:00

Thanks for the responses guys. It seems like the consensus is that lying is not acceptable, which is how I think I felt but I just didn't want to let a good thing go. I guess that fear is exactly what I need to fight against and it makes it so much easier when I have other options available.

Truth is, I'm not ready for a monogamous relationship so I will give her the respect she has earned thus far and be more honest with her. I have been in two consecutive monogamous relationships over the last 6 years and I'm not about to settle down, especially after reading TRP and realizing how much happier I am when I live without attachment.

The one issue I am still having is this: don't we prefer the kinds of women who only sleep with one man at a time? I certainly feel like I do. Am I wrong in feeling this way, since its a double-standard because I have no intention of being monogamous?

[deleted] · 2013-06-20T20:34:40+00:00

Ideal Response: "Neat"

you should always be dating multiple girls. that is ideal

legoeater · 2013-06-21T02:53:38+00:00

I would say something like...

"When people think about romantic relationships, they always put them as either black or white - off or on - nothing or everything - but theres this whole gray area where the relationship you have with someone which although not fully committed emotionally or physically, you can still have a really positive and fulfilling time together.

I'm not going to ask you to be chaste and committed and 'exclusive' (although I definitely wouldn't say no, but in return you can't ask it of me. I really like you, and I love the time we spend together - you're a cool fun sexy etc chick, but at the end of the day if thats not something you can deal with then ... shoulder shrug to indicate implication of nexting her."

State your intentions and expectations genuinely, then unapologetically stick to them.

So are you seeing other girls? pause and pretend to think for 30-60 seconds like it's some complex math problem or word puzzle "yip"

Above and beyond that you shouldn't need to answer any questions about other girls - just deal with them like shit tests.

Finally - read this http://dannyfrom504.com/2012/10/14/itlr-running-a-soft-harem/ or search soft harem for more articles

[deleted] · 2013-06-21T07:23:58+00:00

Put her on ice. Don't call her for at least a month. She thinks the cooking and cleaning has got you dependent on her, and that's why she's being more aggressive. Show her you don't need her by completely cutting her out of your life, at least until she gets the message. Fair warning: if she has any self-respect she won't answer when you call back, but your chances are still better than with a totally new girl.

GuitarHero07 · 2013-06-21T00:30:06+00:00

The "it's complicated" line has worked well for me. Follow up with lots of dominant/sexual contact and it will set her mind at ease. I used a variation of this recently on a girl I've been seeing. She came over and we started getting it on as we usually do. She stopped me as I was about to take off her pants and she started to ask "where is this going." I told it was complicated but that I really liked her and I was having a great time getting to know her. I then proceeded to fuck her brains out. She hasn't asked the question again.

[deleted] · 2013-06-20T21:46:38+00:00

One guy on here recently suggested that the best way to handle this is to say something like:

"I really like you. I like hanging out with you. Blah blah blah... But, I got cheated on in my last relationship, and am not ready for an LTR right now."

Seemed like an interesting idea to me. You seemingly give her what she wants, or at least make it seem like it is eventually possible, without actually giving her anything. It might keep her around a bit longer than otherwise.

Title	The Relationship Talk
Author	Space_Tourist
Upvotes	11
Comments	16
Date	June 20, 2013 8:25 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1gr0l1/the_relationship_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-relationship-talk.5001 https://theredarchive.com/post/5001

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