for tl:dr; scroll to the bottom

My buddy and I befriended each other around 7th grade. We were both a little socially awkward. I constantly seeked approval. I was fat and wanted to be seen with the cool kids. I had little friends and blamed others for my problems. He was abnormally skinny, and his posture was awkward and loser-like. rounded shoulders and we were both poorly dressed. Let's call him brian.

Anyways, I grew up and ended up even going through high school as a little bit of an awkward kid. fast forward a few years. I lost weight through clean diet but was abnormally skinny. and my poor self-esteem was visible with my poor posture and shifty eye contact. I only had sex with two girls at that point. One girl was drunk at a college party and basically just due to luck, she fell into my lap. Very beautiful, but complete airhead and slut. The other was my ex-gf that I basically made my LTR right after meeting because I was needy and lacked self confidence. She wasn't physically ugly or fat. But was a completely disrespectful bitch and again, not very intelligent. Came from a broken family, drank too much etc. She was one of the few people who treated me with respect upon meeting me. And the relationship was good up until about the 1 month mark when I felt she was dishonest, didn't respect my time etc. She never admitted to cheating on me overtly, but she would constantly make up excuses and lies and hamster endlessly when asked about certain things. I would bet good money she was cheating and we went our own direction after I stayed with her 6 months. (yes 6. she wasted my time for 6 months) I was 20 and sexually frustrated as hell and never had sober sex where I fully connected with a woman. I faced a huge phase of depression over some negative events for a few years and basically got through college. Began lurking on TRP. After I got mental health help and made moves in the right direction I finally pieced myself together and I am slowly applying these TRP ideas and principles. I also picked up a minor in college which made me more employable last second. I am more specifically reading the following books

No more mr. nice guy

3% man

the way of men

These three helped me a lot. I got a nice job (partially luck, partially the minor) and work my ass off at it. I used the money to get a new wardrobe. Not designer stuff. Just basics. Jeans, t shirts, boxers. I am lifting and working around my injuries due to a car crash, and in short, I am doing the best I can with what little I have. Not a chad yet, but hopefully, with patience and practice, my sex life will be what I strive for it to be. my n count/experience is low but I am making steady progress.

After taking a girl out to dinner, I realized that the girl sitting in front of me was knocking my socks off. She looked hot as hell and we connected on a number of things. We ended up hooking up and she called me the other day giving signs of high attraction. She wanted to hangout with me again. Another girl who I liked (coincidentally in 7th grade), around the time I was friends with brian, has shot me fb messages out the blue showing interest again, asking about my trip to asia summer after graduation (just got back and started my job). As this happened, I checked my phone to see the texts from brian. He was again asking for advice on his sex life. Everytime I tell him to lift, he says "bill doesnt have to do that, he gets tons of pussy". or "I don't want to". I get really angry but deep down he reminds me of me. And thats why I get so angry at him.

I tell him to get therapy but he refuses to as "its not like im suicidal". Any outside observer can tell that his life will slowly fall apart. I love him like a brother, but I just wish he would realize his own beta-ness. Its gonna hurt him in the long run. I have sent him the link to TRP and said "this link literally contains everything you need to know". He will say "I don't have time to read that" or "I don't want to lift weights". He constantly asks for advice but anytime anything is suggested? Excuses. Yet he has tons of time to watch football, drink beer, smoke weed to cover up his insecurities and eat fatty foods. I think he has some serious mental blocks and needs mental health at this point.

In weird way, it made me almost thankful for my 2 years of suicidal depression. It was the lowest point in my life. and Pulling myself out of it forced me to recreate myself entirely and commit to ensuring I never had a subpar well being or lifestyle. And to do anything and everything to achieve my goals, and build the life I wanted. If I didn't have that phase in my life, I would have stayed beta. And he is now a constantly reminder of that

I also have been developing a stronger bond with my dad. I appreciate him as a male and see that a lot of his insensitive behavior was really just tough love to try and prep me for the hard world ahead. I have a newfound love for him and my poor relationship with him is quickly resolving. My mother, who I hung onto in my youth I am still close with. But she has actually come to respect me a lot more as I keep my distance, and carve a sense of self out for myself. And our dynamic is slowly changing for the positive

A lot of people on this sub speak down/look down on the beta male. I get it. A lot of the things Brian says or does is cringey. The beta-ness just reeks. I have come to realize the blue pill male is not a bad person. They want approval and peace of mind. But they think that the way to achieve that is by trying harder to be softer and nice. to approval seek harder. When frustrated with their life (which they usually are) they don't want to admit they have problems. When told that they can change their circumstances, they have a sense of learned helplessness.

It makes me absolutely sad that I would not have become the purple pill work in progress that I am but for a few unfortunate events, which actually were huge wake up calls for me. It makes me sad that I would probably been there right with Brian complaining that about my circumstances

Many people see this sub as dark, or unethical. Most of the stuff on here is objective biology/logic, you can use it to game married women, or cheat on your girlfriend. Ball is in your court

I am using these principles to rebuild my relationship with my father, make meaningful connections with women and achieve emotional clarity. To me, the thing that is most unethical, is letting a poor kid like Brian die a little each day as he fails to reclaim his masculinity as the thought police left suppresses these RP truths, telling him to do more of the same

tl:dr; I was forced to recreate myself after a phase of traumatizing suicidal depression. My close beta friend has not had shit hit the fan yet. He claims he is doing fine but hasn't kissed a woman yet (early 20's). He is sexually frustrated, and he is the type of person that is going to grow up, have a subpar marriage, and be a poor male role model for his kids. I love him deep down but he frustrates me because he reminds me of myself, what I would have become had I never been forced to rebuild myself. If you are on this sub and have begun lifting, gaming, reading etc. overall improving yourself, you are in rarified company. If you are a lurker, don't wait for it to hit the fan like it had to for me. START NOW. Be thankful of your struggles and negative life phases that brought you here. you would have been like Brian, and never stop fighting the thought police who keep Brian in the dark and a lost soul