Let's start with what we know, men want women. Men want women to sleep with, to hold, to start a family. Whatever you wanna call it.

But bitches be crazy, we also know that. You ask me, "Oh Key of the King's, why are bitches crazy?"

I'll tell you why, my son, but this will require a backstory.

After the dawn of our lives, i.e. childhood, we became conscious of ourselves. We came to realize that we were boys who would one day be given beards and voices and jaws and axes. Mesmerized by our future, we played of hunting the enemy. Everything you and I did, was to prepare for the coming High Noon of manhood.

And prepare we did. We furnished our dreamings with the thought of a woman, waiting for us back at home. Cooking and cleaning or whatever else we fancied. Am I being entitled? I'd like to hope so, entitlement is what gets results. We hunt whatever food we can find, and keep our family alive. Entitlement, is what gets results.

And so, the woman in my home, kept it warm for me. A place of comfort and relaxation.

But life was not at all like so. The women we were told about were guarded by dragons. Titanic in size, fire-breathing, one swing of their limbs and you're out of this life. No more beard, no more manly voice, no more manly jaw, and no more axe.

To get to the princess you need to slay the dragon. And the dragon is certainly a vile, and bewitching enemy. For what we did not know, my children, was that The Princess herself was The Dragon.

How could we bring ourselves to kill that which our hearts desire. Many a men, with their hearts bewitched by her beauty were eaten up and spit out by the beast. Not one was able to slay the beast.

Life my children, is not about not loving the dragon. It is about learning to live with the dragon. Making the most use of it. I have iron in my sword, turned into steel. I do not need such a weapon, but this is what gets me the best results. I may use a rock or wood, but steel, this gets the job done quickest.

Learning to live with the dragon, is knowing when to stamp out the lizard every time she grows a new head. Only then, can you keep The Princess.

She is a Hydra, and she is a woman. Many a heads, she has. Each more vile than the other. Kill it, and keep her a woman. That is the curse you have taken upon yourself.

Like learning how to handle iron, how to change it to steel, keeping a Princess, a Princess, is a skill and a delicate one at that. If at any moment you fail, The Lizard will return to being The Dragon. And that Dragon will not fall without even more effort than it did the first time.

Let her remain a Princess, by you donning the identity of a Dragonslayer. Never take it off. For then, she will no longer fear you. And that day, will the end of you.