tl;dr - TRP helped me and my father survive a shitstorm and made me come out as a man

Introduction

Hello everyone! I'm a long time lurker (since 2014) and first time poster. I was your typical clueless BP guy before coming here seeking help so I'm not going to go into details because you've read/heard this story a million times before. The inspiration for this post comes from a quote from the comments in a thread somewhere in this sub (I forgot which thread/user, sorry)

You've been through hell and back - so why exactly do you care what some random cunt thinks?

Calm before the storm

I was 23 years old (24 now, soon to be 25) and just starting my second year of college. Things were going great: I had a lovely girlfriend, great roommates, a lot of friends etc. We were just cruising through life and everything was good - we felt like we were at the top of the world.

Before I move on I need to share a backstory so you can get a clearer picture - My mother was diagnosed with (operable) cancer when I was in my first year. The operation was a success and she was fine for a year or so but then they discovered that the cancer has spread and they weren't sure if it's operable or not.

Then came January 2015. I was visiting a friend back in my hometown on a random sunday when I suddenly get a call from my father. He was crying hysterically and I couldn't understand what he was saying so I rushed home to see what was happening. He explained that she had to undergo an urgent (unplanned) surgical procedure and was stable at the moment. I didn't quite understand why was he crying if everything went fine. To protect me (before he can figure stuff out in his head) he didn't mention she would be bedridden for the rest of her life and the countdown to the inevitable end had started. I figured this stuff out by myself in the upcoming weeks when I visited her in the hospital. Suddenly life hit me with the hardest punch and I wasn't sure what to do.

Navigating through the storm

As I watched my father gradually falling into depression (he is what I'd call a successful BP/RP switcher and mitigated some of the sadness by working non-stop) I knew something had to change. I was still a loser at that time - smoking pot from morning to evening while playing video games, doing random shit, having sex - all in all nothing productive. I was left with two choices:

I either give in to the sadness and join my father in a downwards spiral Get my shit together and help my father get through this - my time will come later

I chose option #2. - I opened up TRP and started reading (I wasn't looking for dating/seduction advice since I had a girlfriend) how to get my shit together and become a man. Sacrifices had to be made. I left college which meant I had to move away from my friends and girlfriend, stop smoking, stop playing video games and get a job. I started to work out a little - cruising with my skateboard around town just to keep my head clear. (overthinking is a bitch).

In the meantime my father arranged everything for my mother's arrival back home and here is where things got difficult. My father had to keep his job so he kept working while I was the one doing the cooking, cleaning in the daytime and taking care of my mother. Every evening my father came to my room and we had a talk - We discussed future plans and some random stuff but mostly I had these conversations to keep his sanity in check. I couldn't let him fall apart.

She died in April 2015 at home. I stood beside my father as we watched her fall asleep in the living room. The rest of the family bursted into tears except me and my father. I just looked at him and realised I got him through living hell and he felt relieved. We both knew we did everything we could to make it easier for her so her departure wasn't sad.

After the storm

The next months to come was the time where TRP knowledge really kicked in. I thought the hard part was over but it was just beginning. After taking care of my father it was my turn to take care of my life. I started reading TRP non-stop and getting as much as I could applied to my life as soon as possible. I got a steady job, started working out, stopped drinking and smoking pot got into my hobbies again (music) etc. The classic steps to improving a life. Three months later I left my girlfriend but in comparison to what happened it was one of the easiest things ever. There was nothing fundamentally wrong but the relationship ran it's natural course and we went our separate ways with no hard feelings. I kept on improving for the months to come - I got a better job, lost even more weight, bought new clothes, adopted a new mentality and most of all I kept reading and re-reading TRP until it finally sank in.

The improvements in my life were visible every month. I couldn't believe I achieved so much in so little time. One thing after another just fell into place - just like puzzles. And I'm not talking about women - I left them out completely in the path to improvement because I felt like I didn't need them for external validation.

One year has passed since I started my journey and my life has been turned upside down - from the worst possible "cruising through life with no goals" to the best version of myself (to date).

Lessions learned

  • When things fall apart, be ready for total war. -From the machiavellian maxims, pretty self explanatory.
  • When things turn from great to total shit don't expect anyone to actually help you. Not even my girlfriend (surprise surprise) helped me through the struggle (when I mentioned what was going on she remained cold and was pretty uncomfortable, she never came to visit my mother either). Not that I blame anyone for not helping I just learned that when things fall apart you're in this war alone. Reversal: don't try to help people that don't seek your help. (Learned this the hard way)
  • Never stop improving in all aspects of your life and the rest will follow. I was an socially awkward kid and I never had alot success with girls. I just focused on improving myself and now the girls are approaching me (im 5.7" by the way so looks aren't everything but they can help), I got massive amounts of respect from my superiors at work (not being a pushover tho), people come asking me for help etc.. The only thing I still have to improve is my body (I'm somewhat skinny with little muscle)
  • Filter out the garbage it will help you immensely. This means drop all counterproductive activites, persons, friends, girlfriends everything that's stopping you from achieving your goals in life.
  • Disregard females for some time in your path and focus on money. My original plan was to go full MGTOW (because I was stuck in anger phase) and focus on my carreer. I kinda re-forged my plan: I read the 48 laws of power and things became clearer. Because of it i got a 10% payraise in the first month of work. At the moment my finances are settled but my focus still hasn't fully shifted to women but I find it a lot of fun just to flirt with them even with no outcome.
  • Learn to STFU. And I mean really. There have been a lot of threads covering this particular topic and they are true. I learned the hard way. Nobody wants to listen to your problems (not even your gf you love soooo much) except maybe your guy best friends (even they tend to space out). If you're like me and you like to talk about everything (i like philosophy and music the most) just think it over three times in your head before you speak. There are exceptions to this but it applies when talking (especially) to girls. They don't care, they are shallow and have their iPhones for their personal entertainment. Just be quiet, respond (don't be an asshole) and keep that air of mystery going.
  • Get a close group of 3-4 friends that are on your level of thinking (a hobby that unites you it the best) and gather with them in a male (!!!) space of your choosing. I can't express how important this is - to create a friendly male enviroment where you can spend your time and talk or do various other activities.
  • Get a hobby if you haven't already and just let it consume you. Give it all you've got, be passionate about it, be the best at it and someday it might get you somewhere. Get creative!
  • Video games are OK but in moderation.
  • Everyone here has been through hell and back (each his own). Stop caring what random cunts think and just do your thing. Adopt the IDGAF mentality completely. This is the most essential (psychological) tool in the TRP toolbox. But use it wisely. Do not mix it up with apathy (like I did at the start)
  • Success creates even more success. Like I explained before I'm currently not pursuing (actively) women but after you get successful everyone notices, even your male acquaintances. I've been getting compliments and getting messaged from women who didn't even want to look at me in my BP years.
  • Distance yourself and create false scarcity. People will come seeking you.
  • Drop all social media. Cannot stress this enough. People have a mentality about this: If you're not on social media you do not exist. And they are right, you do not exist and this is exactly what you want to achieve. Step out of the mediocrity let your actions speak not your whiny statuses/comments/pictures.

There are probably more lessions I've learned but I'll write them up in another thread where I'll be addressing my current workplace and the gender work dynamic there plus some customer observations.

Thanks for reading. If you have any questions PM me or leave a comment.