Training for results vs training for skill

Background

I used to post a bit on here, had a few theory posts that were well received. I had a few of you youngers PMimg me for advice. I aspired to be a respected and recognized member of the community. But guess what: that is the exact opposite attitude yo need to grow and represent RP ideals. I was ego invested as opposed to skill development focused. So I deleted that account, created a more honest username and went back to lurking. I am only posting to correct a misunderstanding. I will return to lurking as most of you who comment should.

PUA: pussy on a pedestal vs social dominance.

Recently, there was a post saying cold-approach doesn’t work. The OP claimed that people who sleep with randos only do so by frequenting joints they know. He asserted that no one fucks randos they meet on the street.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Remember: just because it doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. Instead, OP has cold-approach with the wrong mindset. He tried it looking for results and when he didn’t get it, he declared that it was impossible. This is the same as someone who hits the gym and tries to put up the most weight they can every time, and when it fails to give good gains they declare lifting a waste of time.

ego centered vs skills centered

In my experience as a wrestling coach this is something I deal with often. It is the difference between natural athletes who merely remain “good” vs mediocre athletes who become great. OP was looking for results, and by his own admission he has natural talents, and so he suffered the fate of many talented athletes who only train looking for results. He got nothing and subsequently wanted to believe it was because cold approach doesn’t work.

If you want to grow, you must only care about increasing skill. Success or failure be damned. This is “outcome independence.” Instead if declaring the outcome impossible and bullshit, he should be focusing on why it doesn’t work for him.

When you lift, you start squatting 85 lbs. Not because that that’s what will give you immediate gains, but because your motivation needs to be unrelated to ego. You need a few weeks showing up squatting girl weights to kill the ego. I never let an athlete start beyond two 10 plates on each side because other people’s opinions need to be immaterial before they can even begin to get real gains.

That mentality applies to everything you do here. If you want to make posts claiming certain things are impossible from your vast experience, chances are you are ego invested. You need to break your own ego first. If another man can do it, there’s no reason you can’t, and if you think otherwise, chances are you are ego invested and just not seeing the results your ego expects.

cold approach: ego vs skill

That said, cold approach does work. I have done it plenty and if I can, then you can. But how?

OP tried and got no results so quit. This is wrong. A skills based mindset to cold approach is focused on mastering the skills of socialization such that you can employ your skills on anyone regardless of outcome. Being able to start and hold a conversation is exactly what cold approach is. It is learning the skills of using conversation hooks and good probing to get anyone interested in your frame. It is the skill to see where conversations can go, how to steer them and how to maintain investment. These are all skill and that is what you need to focus on. Not whether some chick falls on your dick after your verbal hypnosis bullshit.

Kill your ego

Focus always on skill. Ignore those who would judge you. Care only about whether you learned. With this mentality I was always excited to open the next group to apply what I learned from my last failure. After about 2 or 3 years I felt I had a pretty good handle on it and have the skill to use my cold approach as a party trick.

This could be you. If another man can learn it you can.

But only if you focus on learning skill over trying to make it work.

And with that, I am going back to lurking. I have a lot of skills to develop still and so do you. Don’t post if you feel even a glimmer of ego. You don’t know as much as you think you do.