Summary: TRP requires work, and decades of programming are not going to be undone in a few years let alone a few months. Like with dieting, exercising, or even at work, you will slip up – you’re only human. Recognizing that it’s happening and course correcting (i.e. treating it like a discipline) is the difficult part which, once developed as a habit, starts to become second nature.

 

 

Body

 

My story is much like anybody’s here on this subreddit: I found TRP, lurked, everything clicked, and things started to change. When I discovered this place I was in an unsatisfying 9-year LTR, fat, and rarely did anything for myself. I had a few things going for me but for the most part was unhappy with where I was in life. With TRP in mind, I began about making the changes that needed to be done and roughly 3-4 years later I’m in a much better place than I was back then.

 

It’s easy to get caught up in this subreddit and think that one must always act perfectly “Alpha” at all times. During my journey I’ve done things amazingly well and catastrophically wrong. I’m at a point where things have been going well long enough that I finally feel like I’ve mostly assimilated the pill (yes, it does take years). However, I still do slip up from time to time. The difference is that I’m now able to recognize that it’s happening and correct back. Society generally does not punish a few slip-ups here and there, it’s the series of slip-ups that get punished.

 

I want to share some examples from my journey: where I did things right and wrong. This in the hopes that it helps people starting off, or who are in the middle of it and are frustrated. Please understand that my journey, much like any man’s, is ongoing. Simply because I’m at a point where I feel like the pill has been mostly assimilated does not mean that my continuous self-improvement and overall mission are over.

 

Example 1: Breaking up with LTR

 

It took me a year after discovering the Red Pill to come to the conclusion that my LTR was unsalvageable and needed to come to an end. I broke up with her and made it clear it was over, then I left the house (we lived together) and gave her one week to get all her stuff out. She begged and pleaded to get me back over the week but I did not respond and stayed the course. After she confirmed she left, I cut off all communication and haven’t spoken to her since.

 

Take-away: The way I handled this was both good for myself and her. By not communicating or responding to her pleas I made it absolutely clear that it was over, giving her the closure that women require. At the same time walking away completely made me feel more empowered than I had felt in years.

 

Example 2: Falling for a Girl A

 

A few months after my LTR I had met a girl while playing soccer. We started hanging out and I fell for her. We spoke for hours texting, on the phone, and in person. I met her family and friends, and my feelings grew stronger and stronger. I did not escalate nor did I go out on dates with any other women, while she told me that she was going out on dates with other guys. Eventually the feelings were too much for me to contain and I confessed to her. It was not reciprocated and things became awkward.

 

Take-away: This was obviously a rebound accumulation of pent up feelings I had after being in a relationship for so long. I believe she was into me at the beginning, but the lack of escalation as well as constantly being there ruined any vibe. There were many signs she wasn’t into me (telling me she about her other dates for starters), but I ignored all of them. The fact that she was the only girl I had contact with also aided in the oneitis that I developed.

 

Example 3: Getting In Shape

 

A few weeks after confessing to Girl A, I moped around. I realized that I did not like myself, so how could I expect others to like me? I started eating less and healthier and I enrolled in a gym. Lifting does make you feel more like a man, however I have a lot of pent-up anger (from childhood, family, etc.) so it wasn’t enough. I signed up for a Muay Thai class and eventually signed up for a year membership at their gym (dropping out of the other in favour of this one). Lifting weights is great, but there’s something about getting punched/kicked that I find soothing and primal at the same time. I lost 40lbs of fat in 8 months. It’s been 2 years since I signed up and there have been weeks (and a period of months) where I did not go. Whenever I catch myself on this I force myself and get back into the rhythm.

 

Take-away: I eventually analyzed why things didn’t go my way. There were many reasons and the main one was that I wasn’t happy with myself and took steps to change that. I looked at what was within my control and proceeded to act on it.

 

Example 4: Dating and Girl B

 

At this point it’s been a year since I broke up with my LTR and I’m in good shape. I dated girls from Tinder as well as some I met at bars (all with the intent of just sleeping with them, as I did not want an LTR). Attention was coming my way and things were going well. I got in touch with a girl I used to know that lived in my city but moved away many years ago, as I was going to visit the city that she now lived in. Over a period of 6 months we chatted and I visited the city a few times (and saw her at some points). I could tell that she was super into me. I started to feel like she was the one as she seemed perfect in every way. Suddenly I was desperate to LTR her. I was dating other girls on the side but eventually cut that down - she was the one for me I thought. We slept together and I mused “This is it!”. Spoke with her everyday but afterwards something strange happened: she started to withdraw her attention. Eventually she told me she wasn’t feeling it, and that “she let me” have sex with her. I was crushed.

 

Take-away: Before meeting Girl B in person again I felt like I had assimilated the pill completely, I was doing everything right! She was into me, but a series of slip-ups eventually got her to lose interest in me: I started going to the city only to see her, I pedestalized her as she was higher quality than the girls I had been dating up to that point, I started talking to her all the time, I was too easy-going when we slept together (always fuck her good). Girl B was the person that broke me down completely at a point where I thought I was doing just fine.

 

Example 5: Altering the Course of my Life

 

I was pathetic after Girl B crushed me. I even had to take a day off work, something I’m not proud of. During that day I mindlessly watched TV and eventually something just snapped inside of me: I cannot keep making these same mistakes. My LTR, girls before her, Girl A, Girl B… I was always pedestalizing women, chasing after them, my life revolved around them. This may be good for some but I realized that I was just repeating a vicious cycle. I sat down and wrote out a 100-day plan that included goals I wanted to achieve and where I wanted to be. Within all the writing something stood out: Would future me be proud of the man I am today? No. The objective was (and is) to become a man I will look back on and be proud of. For 100 days I focused entirely on myself, women were giving me more attention than ever before but I refused to go on any dates during this period. Once over, I went on a tear unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Now that I didn’t make women my mission they were easier to get than ever before. More importantly, I was finally achieving goals that I had only ever dreamed of (did some amateur fights in Muay Thai, something fat, 9-year LTR me would’ve never imagined possible). TRP finally clicked, for real this time.

 

Take-away: Girl B crushing me was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I realized what was the core problem that I had within me (I based my validation and worth on women and not myself) and set out to correct it once and for all. Any success I had before this was me “faking it till I made it”, but I never made it. It is only at this point (2.5 years after discovering TRP) that I finally started to truly absorb the pill.

 

The Present

 

It’s been a year since I did the 100 days. I got off Tinder and dated women I only met during the day or playing soccer. More importantly I continued on my mission and pushed it forward in directions I never imagined (looking to make a career change, working to get my soccer coaching license on the side, aiming to compete in Amateur Championship of my province/state). I eventually did meet a girl that matched what I was looking for and we started dating. I discovered that I enjoy being in an LTR (I know it’s not for everyone) but acknowledge that she is not the end all be all. It’s funny, I care for her more than I cared for Girls A or B but rarely text her and see her if it fits my schedule only. If it doesn’t work out with her, I’ll find someone else. Women come and go, but you have yourself until your death. This journey has taught me that.

 

I still slip-up from time to time. I eat unhealthy for one too many days, or don’t go to Muay Thai (these usually go hand in hand). There are mistakes that I make with the girl as well. The experiences I have gained have given me the wisdom to recognize it’s happened and course-correct before it’s too late.

 

 

Lessons Learned

 

  • The pill is not easily absorbed for most. It takes discipline and it takes time.
  • Go out and experience life. Don’t beat yourself up if you fall, pick yourself back up.
  • If you do it right, the journey you’re on will be your greatest teacher.
  • Self-awareness is important, but don’t forget to have fun.
  • Work is never done, and I believe that discipline is the most important asset to success.

 

It’s important to note that between the timeline of all of these examples I still worked on myself physically for the most part, established a social circle (that I keep growing) and kept up with my true close friends. I still come back to this sub-reddit, read The Rational Male, Chateau and the side-bar. Sometimes I feel myself slipping into my old ways and reading those (as well as some TRP posts) remind me to always keep myself accountable.