Did you ever see a turtle try to cross a highway on a hot day? That pavement can get damn hot. And when a car goes past, they tuck up, and it must be like a fucking dutch oven in that shell, slow cooking its own organs.

When I was a kid I wondered why they didn't just turn around and go back. Then I grew up and knew why.

There's only one reason a turtle would try to cross a hot highway: it wants to fuck.

It just left a nice cool wet pond or ditch full of all the food it could ever want. But there's too much competition for turtle poon. So it takes the hard way, and the possibly fatal way.

I'm starting to think that with all this "looks debate" shit, or rather, the response to it - all the whining and crying - that that turtle is more of a badass than a lot of you guys.

 

Changing your environment is a lot easier for you than for that damn turtle.

 

Does this mean move locations? That would be great, and sometimes it's that easy. I, myself, got virtually no action in high school. I was subject to intense pre-de-selection. But when I went away to college, nobody knew I was a loser. And I stopped acting like one. And I got laid like tile, because my standards were realistically low. And then I raised my standards as my confidence went up.

 

But if you're in college already and aren't getting laid, or you can't move, there are other things you can do. I want to emphasize, these are super-basic and incredibly obvious ideas. These are for guys who need that first or second lay to get some confidence from.

As basic as these are, even so, I can tell from reading posts on here, things like these aren't occurring to a lot of guys. You've got bars/parties, day game or whatever the fuck PUA BS, and that's it. This seems particularly relevant in light of the recent posts about "the death of night game" and the guy trying to pick up women at the gym.

Try something else. Here are 3 examples, from my own experience.

 

1). Where I live, there's an annual event called Bike Across [State]. Hundreds of people do it, and it's a lot of fun. It's not hard: they only do about 60 miles per day. When I did it, some of us raced it each day in under 3 hours, then circled back and moved through the crowd. And, yes, there were good-looking women.

Imagine this. You have ALL DAY to find and talk to these chicks. Then ALL EVENING at the campsite. Then ALL NIGHT when everybody else is sleeping. And you have this ALL WEEK. And it's with women from all over the place who don't know anything about you. It's a rare opportunity.

You can work several women at the same time. In my case, I met one chick who lived in my town, met up with her a couple of times a few weeks after the ride. And there was another chick who lived about 2 hours away; later that month, we each drove halfway, with our bikes, and rode around a wilderness area. I only brought one tent. Yes, we banged.

 

2). A friend of mine once eavesdropped overheard a woman tell her friend that she was taking a CPR class. He figured out where and when it was (not hard, there's only one Health Dept.) and enrolled in it. He already knew CPR. We had some good laughs about this, but yes, he banged her.

You don't actually have to stalk somebody, though, you can take a class at your local Art Center, somewhere nobody knows you.

Two classes I took with results: sculpture/ceramics, because you are using your hands and getting messy - chicks love this kind of thing, it's like foreplay - and photography, because there is a darkroom and smelly chemicals. Get a chick alone in a darkroom, and get light-headed huffing those fumes, then start with the innuendos. You're halfway there.

 

3). I worked at a community theater one season as a stage hand. I did all kinds of shit: lights, carpentry, sets, sound. It was like a 14-hour a day, 6-day a week PARTY. Then after the performance every Saturday, we had a strike-the-set party that went on until dawn.

Theater people are weirdos, no question, but they are extremely sexual people. And they don't judge. And I can tell you, every single person involved got laid. Even the weirdest looking dudes. (I should say, this is the rare exception to the rule don't shit where you eat. If anything, the more you do it, the better.)

Imagine how many places there are in a theater to take a woman, and be completely alone. There are booths, and dressing rooms, and storage rooms, catwalks. And yes, you can bang a chick on a catwalk.

 

Something to notice about the kinds of women you will encounter in these 3 scenarios: Not skanks. Not stuck-up sorority girls. Not entitled feminists. Not gold-diggers. Not looking for Mr. Right.

Another thing to notice about these 3 scenarios: these are all fun activities that will make your life better, regardless of the sex you might enjoy, which should hopefully make you look less desperate.

 

None of these things are hard, unpleasant, or dangerous as a turtle crossing a highway.

 

I enjoyed the shade, so I'm planting a tree for you young guys.