~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
face_north
[removed]
[–]BambaKlava 18 points19 points20 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Don't apologize. Don't call. Don't even acknowledge you did anything "wrong" at all. Be about your business and if she calls YOU, you know that there's actually a chance of that threesome happening.
[–]HopeFarmer4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
/thread
Also "debating" or engaging her seriously on this issue was a beta misstep. If she was being an unreasonable bitch you should have responded with a punishment like withdrawing attention, ignored her bullshit, and gone about your business. You knew in your gut that it wasn't that bad a joke, but you still bought into her scheme to make you doubt yourself. That is called losing frame.
To deal with that feeling in your gut you just need to internalize the advice here and remember your best outcome will come from outcome independence. You are demonstrating a clear scarcity mentality. That impulse you feel to say something will only make things worse. Once you accept this you shouldn't feel bad about doing something else and putting this woman out of mind. There are tons of alternatives anyway. Hell, it sounds like the flatmate was a legitimate prospect.
[–]Triadis3 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Kim poked your frame and it shattered.
Never apologize to appease.
"As always I debated with all Passion & Power to prove Myself Right and called her Insecure."
Never ever ever do this. No frame, no spine, no self control.
[–]face_north0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
How do you define Frame mate ? And how can one get it ?
[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Read the sidebar.
Also, why do you Capitalize random Words mid-sentence?
You'd be somewhat excused if you were native German, but you aren't, so Don't don't.
[–]face_north0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks . One more thing. I have couple of things from her. How do I return back ? Should I just walk to her flat throw the stuffs at her gate or knock n hand over to her flatmate Lili ( kim is away for biz ). Or best just courier it to her ?
Any word ?
[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd hand it over to the flatmate: that way you don't leave stuff unattended on the ground somewhere, plus you might hit it off with the flatmate if you like her (and play it right).
[–]1empatheticapathetic4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you did nothing wrong (which you didn't) then why would you ever justify yourself beyond a simple "no"? Anything else is a weak frame and an opportunity for her to shit test you into beta territory.
Your admitted lack of abundance shows us why you did want to prove her right. Unfortunately it had the opposite effect.
[–]3chazthundergut3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'd normally agree with the "never apologize" crowd. However, there's no excuse to be "rude and nasty" ... you need to maintain an attitude of "I don't give a fuck" nothing she says to you should move you to become mean-spirited.
On the other hand, she "called it off" and you apologizing would read like a total bitch attempt to win her back. So you must not apologize.
She ended it, so simply leave her alone and don't call or text AT ALL. Let her hamster get her wondering whether you are cooking with or eating out Lili.
If she begs for you back, you can decide whether or not she's worth it. Until then, GHOST.
[–]face_north0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Thanks mate.
One more thing. I have couple of things from her. How do I return back ? Should I just walk to her flat throw the stuffs at her gate or knock n hand over to her flatmate Lili ( while she is on her biz trip) or just courier ? Unable to take a call.
[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Have you maintained zero contact?
You can hand them back in person, but by NO MEANS make any effort or initiate any contact.
If she says she wants her stuff back, reply ONLY with the MINIMUM communication required for logistics, and tell her when she can come pick them up.
When/if she does, do not try to fix things or win her back. Your mindset is: "My life is awesome. I am happy to have found out that you are a crazy person who flips out and ends things at a little joke. I have already found other women to fuck, and they are beautiful and eager to please. I don't have any desire to get back with you"
Remember, SAY NONE OF THIS.
Communicate it with you smile, your positive vibe, and your total indifference to her. You don't hate her, you don't resent her, you don't care. She was fun while it was her turn, and that is that. You have no hard feelings, just positive vibes. But no interest in her anymore.
Don't invite her into your house. In fact, pretend that there is a supermodel laying on your bed waiting for you to come back and fuck her. And again, you don't SAY it you communicate it through the way you stand in the doorway and the way you pleasantly say: "Hope your trip was fun (say it sincerely) here is your stuff. Take care of yourself!" (mean it as you sincerely wish her the best)
And if she tries to drag you into a conversation or try to get in the door just to show you how much she misses you- remember, there's a supermodel waiting in your bedroom. "Sorry sweetheart I can't talk right now I need to go!"
If you are able to resist even a direct offer of sex, which is by far her most powerful weapon (in many ways her only weapon), then you have established the strongest frame.
If/when you give in, it needs to be on precisely your terms with your maximum pleasure in mind. This returns some power to her frame, but you can still hold your dominance by being emotionally aloof and doing what's right for yourself.
I cannot emphasize enough the mindset to have. Don't just say the words, hoping it makes her want you. BELIEVE that there literally is a supermodel in your bed.
Then, after a week or two, you can plan your next move.
If you act angry/butthurt/etc: you communicate that you care way too much. If you act eager to see her or even willing to engage with her (which she will perceive as an attempt to get her back) you communicate that her negative actions have no consequences. She can break up with you over a joke and face no repercussions. Again, this is something you never "say" verbally. This is how women communicate, and why they are hyper-attuned to subcommunications.
However, this alertness is their weakness when it comes to game. Alongside their hyper-self-consciousness, driven by a million years of hypergamy.
"Why isn't he texting me back?"
I'll bet he's with that girl!"
"Where did he go after I refused sex and he went to the "gym"!? I'll bet he went somewhere else. Or maybe there's a girl at the gym that flirts with him? I'll bet it's that blonde bitch with the yoga pants!"
Understanding subcommunications let's you communicate very pussy-tingling things without any lying, which is good. Lying makes you incongruent, which women are also extremely good at sniffing out.
So don't lie, and don't be needy. Act like an attractive, high-quality man with options would act, and you will be perceived as such. Most of the time.
Or, she just went on vacation to fuck strange men, and wanted a justification for herself to justify sleeping with other men. And wants to come back and just pick right back up where she left off with you.
Sorry for the rant I am stoned out of my mind right now.
Gad ! Tat was a long rant .... bt much needed. And mate its not her stuff. Its what she gave me to use bt post brk up I never like to keep a thing back.
[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, any attempt you make to return it will be interpreted as an attempt to get back with her or get back at her. You want neither.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]BambaKlava 18 points19 points20 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HopeFarmer4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Triadis3 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]face_north0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]face_north0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1empatheticapathetic4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]3chazthundergut3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]face_north0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]face_north0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link