Bare with me here, Im just writing down some thoughts and reflections to spark a discussion and maybe just try to make things clear in my head.

To begin, my life at this moment is a mess in a million ways. Im not saying this to ask for a shoulder to cry on, it is just a reality due to some external factors(5%) and my decisions up till now(95%).

Now here is the catch, Im not necessarily a natural but I was always OK with girls. There is a lot of shit wrong with me and my life but I can always go to a club and pull at least a 7.

Here is where it all comes to real shit, it stopped giving me pleasure as soon as I realized it was a fake stream of validation to feed my ego(worth) as a man. Its fucken pathetic. Getting some drunk, easy slut on my dick and all of a sudden Im a man (that was my hamstering). The sooner you realize this the sooner you will be come a man you want to be. A woman validation is no longer important to me, the only thing that makes me happy is my achievements and the exact opposite of that. The things I fail to achieve are my greatest source of misery.

Its kind of like failing at something and deciding to mask the pain with a meaningless hookup.

For some of you(older,wiser,more experienced men) this may be a very elementary idea but for some this could be something to think about.