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Why does my lay count have to be higher?

[deleted]

December 5, 2014
0 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
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Post Information
Title Why does my lay count have to be higher?
Author

[deleted]

Upvotes 0
Comments 36
Date December 5, 2014 4:39 AM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2oc2cx/why_does_my_lay_count_have_to_be_higher/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/why-does-my-lay-count-have-to-be-higher.25828
https://theredarchive.com/post/25828
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Comments

[–]CastratedBetaOrbiter 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

Because she will always think she can do better.

Nobody else wanted him, why should she?

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

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[–]CastratedBetaOrbiter 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

Because in general, relationships leave scars. Every breakup will result in a person being less trusting, have a bad association with something "Oh my asshole ex used to do that!" This applies to both men and women.

No sane man would LTR a woman who's had 15 dicks in her before him for this reason.

For the same reason, no sane woman would marry a guy who fucked and chucked 15+ women.

As I age, and the women I date are older, I notice they are less tolerant and more bitter. Women will pass it off as "Oh I'm tired of games, I know what I want now." But really, it's because their "asshole ex" used to do that too and they are just tired of it. Replace "that" with even the most mundane thing, i.e. leaving socks on the floor.

[–]whyrelation2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link

Makes sense if the girl had relationships with all these guys, but some girls just go for casual or ONS and thus the high count. Doubt she had 15 relationships.

[–]CastratedBetaOrbiter 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

If a girl had 2+ ONS, I'd run for the hills if I was looking for LTR. One I can forgive as a mistake, but beyond that, it's a lifestyle.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]MasterBaiterX 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

TRP shouldn't dictate every breath you take, I love this sub, but it's a debate sub. People post theory posts, field reports, etc, and debate male strategies.

I am a proponent of having a higher value than your women in order to combat their biological hypergamy as well as keeping their number in mind, but not handling it in a make or break manner. You need to realize that most content on game you find online is more about picking up women for casual sex, not finding a wife/long term partner.

The high number count for women is always a factor, like /u/castratedbetaorbiter said anything high implies a lifestyle. For a woman to engage in so much regular casual sex so freely means her standards of who gets in are a lot lower than most women, this means they are indulging, showing poor impulse control, and have a low value attributed to the act of sex, at least in comparison to say a virgin.

All of this, to me, is something I will keep in mind when looking at partner count. But a man who gets TRP would never let TRP or anyone else tell them who they can and cannot date. They would date a girl with a higher than normal partner count if she was worth it in other respects, it might work, it might not. They write a field report about it with good analysis, and the sub grows in collective value just as they learn more about what works and what doesn't. If you live by other people's rules you don't really grow or learn or suffer.

[–]HarleyWalker 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Everything I have read about game tells me to not judge women and free them up sexually. On the other hand TRP asks me to judge them by lay count and ONS.

It's just the male equivalent of a shit test to find out if she's a slut or worth commitment.

[–]HereHaveAnRPWAccount -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Honestly, don't get too worried about the lay count/virgin issue that's been all over lately. A few weeks ago the consensus was "let them get over their CC days first". Neither is a perfect theory. AWALT, yeah, and AMALT but everyone, man or woman, still stands as an individual person at the end of the day. Take TRP discussions with a grain of salt, cause there are a fucking lot of 16 year old boys here who don't quite get it yet pretending to be alpha, and a lot of men still in the anger stage. There are also a lot of people here who should get paid for this shit because they live TRP so well and true.

/u/MasterBaiterX below me is right, don't let it run your life. Join the discussions, but do what is honestly what you think is "right" or whatever while keeping all sides of everything you've read in mind. Report back and so on.

[–]HereHaveAnRPWAccount 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link

Whole comment is spot on but I'd like to take a moment for this:

For the same reason, no sane woman would marry a guy who fucked and chucked 15+ women.

Thaaaank you, I feel like this gets so overlooked in this sub all the time.

Everybody's been on the "BUT THAT STUDY!!1!" circlejerk the last few weeks and I haven't seen a single comment so far addressing that the men's counts were omitted, and probably fairly similar to the counts of the women they were being stacked against.. And probably also contributing to the personality-trait problems that lead to divorce. Sorry guys. Your decent, sane, supportive, (true)HSV(as in desirable traits beyond looks/body) RPW isn't going to waste her time on some faux-alpha spinning slutty plates until the day he meets her. And trust me, we can smell the dirty pussy all over you.

Seems like everyone is forgetting RP 101... You have to be a good man to snag a good woman. 20 drunken club-sluts under your belt in the last year =/= HSV, no matter how attractive they (the women you gamed) are/were. It's about perceived potential for a high count, but a tangible actual high count is a dangerous red flag for many of us... If all you can bag is worthless but hot skanks, she knows she can do better. Have fun shooting yourself in the foot.

Edit: clarity, it's late

Edit2: All of that said, AWALT and AMALT blah blah blah but it does of course still come down to individual compatibility at the end of the day in an LTR, and many sane/healthy people do grow and change and learn from their past mistakes, men and women alike. There will always be exceptions to both sides of the count guidelines and you can't let anybody else dictate your judgements for you.. That's BB behavior. ;)

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

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[–]BlackHeart89 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Maaaan, you should have never made her your girlfriend without first confirming she's LTR material.

I use my experience as a past orbiter to read women. After a few weeks, you get a certain vibe that tells you whether she's worth a shit or not. Even sooner if you two communicate enough.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Aw man. The list is large. Half the things I don't even notice, consciously, at first. For example, she could be hot and nice as hell, but for some reason, I'm uneasy about her. So I keep my distance. Then BOOM. Turns out she's always begging for hand outs or has a serious anger problem. Then its at that moment that I realize she shares the same tendencies as a chick I use to date or orbit a while back.

And then some of the things on the list is relative. A chick that acts like a bitch to one guy may be an angel to you. But some things that make me either straight up pass on a chick or keep her as a plate are these:

  • Makes horrible financial decisions

  • Too concerned about pleasing the wrong people.

  • Too much attitude

  • Thinks the world revolves around her

  • Expects me to buy her shit all the time. (Getting her a little gift or paying for a movie ticket is cool. But if she always has her hand out for something, she's full of shit. I don't care how many times I've fucked her.)

  • Hangs out with a lot guys or any people she use to have sex with (Being friends and hanging out are two different things. I'm friends with my exes, but we never hang out and we speak maybe once every few months for a few minutes.)

  • Can't keep up intellectually. Its fine if I'm smarter. But if she doesn't seem to have the capacity to rise to my level or close to it, or doesn't have the desire to, I can't deal.

  • She expresses some sort of fantasy that I'm against. Because honestly, I'm never going to be down with that and I know that eventually, she's going to do it.

  • Shes incredibly sensitive (relative to you)

  • Likes to go out and party at clubs and get drunk on the regular. (Going out every blue moon really isn't a red flag to me. But getting drunk around other guys while I'm not around is never okay)

The list goes on man. After a while, half the shit you won't even notice. You'll just feel iffy about a chick. Its that gut feeling. Just learn that the gut feeling only tells you that something is up. It doesn't exactly specify what though.

I have to note, that when I LTR a chick, its for two reasons. Either I'm in it for the long haul or I'm getting a temporary chick until I can get my plates up. This list is for the former. Otherwise, I really don't care since I plan on dumping her anyway.

[–]HereHaveAnRPWAccount 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Nonononono, let me clear one thing up here: There is a VERY IMPORTANT difference between "can change" and "those days are gone". If you got in to this relationship hoping she would change, you were wrong, cut your losses and get out. It's about aligning with someone in a way that you've both reached happiness and stability already and negotiating and supporting continuous growth. She's already locked you in.

The question isn't about her ability to "change". What do YOU want? For yourself, for an LTR? Do you see these traits as current problems? If so are you taking any steps to keep them under control? Are you willing to? Is it something you can't get past? Go from there.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]BlackHeart89 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She has tendencies to make male friends and doesn't mind getting touchy feely with them in front of me (front hugs, tickling arms, kissed cheek once, calling them "Baby").

Thats unacceptable. Shit like that would land her as a plate, forever.

I doubt myself because I feel I am the crazy one here doubting even her most honest intentions and that nothing she does will be good enough. But whenever I am alone without her around I cant shake this feeling that something's amiss.

All the more reason to drop her. From experience, that feeling you get is something you should NOT ignore. It doesn't necessarily mean she's fucking someone else, but something definitely isn't right. Half-truths, complete lies, cheating, etc. Could be anything.

Rule of thumb. If you can't trust her without constant worry, then you shouldn't LTR her. Whether its because of her past or your insecurities, you need to move on.

[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No sane man would LTR a woman who's had 15 dicks in her before him for this reason.

For the same reason, no sane woman would marry a guy who fucked and chucked 15+ women.

If a guy is spinning plates, more than likely, he will exceed 15 women before getting tied down. That doesn't even count any ONS he may have.

At 25, I would never LTR a woman with a body count that high. My point is, the standards are a bit different for the genders.

[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It doesn't have to actually be higher. The only needed thing is for her to understand that if you wanted, your count could be much higher. Every chick I know, knows that I'm pretty picky. With that, comes a lower count than a lot of the other men out here. They seem to respond well to that. Especially if they've seen some of the women on my record.

[–]DougieTheCaker0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

We use general rules to hedge in our favor.

Having a high partner count says way more negative than positive things about a womans potential to be good LTR material

High partner count for men this is not the case.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It just does. If 0 girls have had sex with you, there's probably a good reason for it. Imagine how scared a chick would get if you told her you never even had a gf.

[–]garlicextract 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It just does. If 0 girls have had sex with you, there's probably a good reason for it. Imagine how scared a chick would get if you told her you never even had a gf.

What? It's much worse to have a count of 0 than even to have a low count but never had a gf...

[–]Wolf_A -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

Would you opt for a shitty lock that can be opened by several keys or rather have a master key that can open several locks?

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Wolf_A -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

Not saying she has to be a virgin, but if she has considerably a high count then it's quite likely that hypergamy will keep her on the search for that next exciting adventure. And moreover incase they get married she has all the legal protection she needs to do so in order to fuck the guy over. Win-win for her.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Wolf_A 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You are forgetting her adventure part. Hypergamy and money can be mutually exclusive. If you really like this chick then always show that you are the leader, else you will loose her interest eventually. Single digits is okay, but if the partner count is more than 10 her hypergamy is not snoozing at all and so you'll have to face more shit tests in long run. Try not to loose your frame.

[–]CastratedBetaOrbiter 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

So "your friend" is really you.

And that "6-7 dicks his girlfriend sucked" is really "12 dicks my girlfriend sucked before me"

Why didn't you just come out and be honest with it? This is an anon internet forum.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

  1. There is a direct correlation between the number of partners a woman has and the probability that she will divorce you.
  2. Taking a woman's virginity is something she will never forget and creates permanent emotion bonds, which no sort of sex you give her can erase.
  3. Indeed, every sexual experience reduces by contrast the intensity of her next emotional engagement.

Lurk moar.

[+]ForbiddenFruit420 -6 points-5 points-4 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I think it's bs. I wouldn't judge someone based on how many people they fucked before me. I'd rather be their last than their first. This is something I've never understood. I would never ask a guy how many girls he slept with and I'd never tell anyone how many guys I've slept with. It's just no one's business and I have nothing to prove. If he disapproves of that, he can move along.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

If he disapproves of that, he can move along.

And we at /theredpill encourage men to actually do that.

Almost nobody else does.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]thrway1312 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

No time-based graph is useful if you can't observe and evaluate the past.

If you're so self-conscious about the number of previous partners that you can't share it with someone you're considering, your subconscious might be onto something.

[–]ForbiddenFruit420 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Ok. I guess I just feel like there's some value in just being happy with someone, even for a moment, regardless of what you know or don't know about their past. It's not about what they've done but how much you know.

[–]RedPillWatchTower 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

So if I was a serial rapist in my "past" that doesn't matter? Would YOU date a serial rapist who used to rape girls 5 years ago, but it doesn't matter, because that's "in the past'? I mean, I'm "not like that anymore. The cognitive dissonance of the average American female knows no bounds.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You would move along if you don't know the answer to the question? So, it could be 1 or 2 or 100

No it couldn't be. If a woman doesn't want to answer the question, you can be sure that her body count wasn't 1 or 2.

Most women give a number but empirically if she doesn't give a number it's usually 8+.

and you'd be cool with never finding out if this chick is worth your time?

Another chick will be worth the time.

I guess I feel like it would be narrow minded to think that it's a deal breaker for someone to keep the most personal business...

That is what I was trying to say. If you have principles and values and don't want to be with a slut, people will try to shame you. They'll call you narrow-minded and you might suddenly think about dropping your principles and values.

But trp is there for you and encourages you to stick to your guns and not give in.

I'm secure enough with myself to know that even if he's banged 10,000 bitches I'll probably be the best one or the last one.

Yeah. You are a woman. You are not naturally disgusted by someone who has slept around a lot.

Men and women feel different about former promiscuity.

You will never understand why a man wouldn't want to be with a former slut. You try to understand it (which is nice), but when you try to empathize you still think like a woman. So the only reason you find is insecurity.

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