When I first came across trp, I was excited.

"Finally, I can win over my oneitis!"

Deep down- I knew the principles of TRP, passed down from my father. I had forgotten them over time, because I had become distracted over the years.

Everything had fallen apart once I attempted to get married and settle down.

When I came across theredpill, I called up my best friend who also had women troubles- he had been dumped for another guy. She lived 200 miles away and commuted to see her. He was devastated.

"Dude, I'm part of this online community called trp- it's a sexual strategy forum! It says you're the prize!"

And on and on and on... like a parrot.

"We need to get together and talk about this stuff!"

"I'd like that, man. I've been in my head too much. I'd be nice to hang out with a friend."

The next day we were supposed to hang out...

...and my oneitis called. She wanted to use me as an emotional tampon, she was dating a gangster- cooking and cleaning for him. She described herself as his wife.

He was drinking with his baby's momma-

I dropped everything and met her- I figured my friend would understand. We'd just hang out another day. No big deal! My heart was pounding with anticipation. I sat across the street and made her wait as I watched, but worried she'd leave if I waited too long- didn't want to come off as too needy!

Finally- I made my move. Pulled up with confidence and walked up to her like an alpha. A&A and kino!

So as we sat in the car- I watched her flip through her phone, constantly replaying his snaps the whole time. She was distraught- he was posting pictures of himself with bottles of liquor. You could make out a nail polished hand, and she was freaking out over it.

I felt like hot shit- the girl I loved! Confiding in me! One step away from being the rebound!

Once she had been sufficiently comforted, we parted ways. She was giddy from my attention. If nothing else, I was funny and attractive.

I remember stepping out of her car, feeling like a bad ass- and then the voice inside myself ran through my head.

You will regret this.

Sure I will I thought to myself. What an odd thought to have.

I was driving along the next day, and between stalking her IG, I decided to check up on my friend to tell him the news and reschedule.

No answer. Weird.

So I messaged him on snapchat. Nothing.

So I finally went to his Facebook- and that's when I saw.

The condolences from his friends list plastered all over his feed-

He died that night. Fell asleep and never woke up. Brain aneurysm.

I internalized the pill that day- this was my price of admission.

The price of putting pussy on the pedestal can be greater than your self-respect.

It can cost you your soul.

I must go through life- knowing I chose a girl that won't even remember my name, over a friend that I didn't really care for when all was said and done.

In his world- I'll always be the guy that let him down.

But to be a warrior, I could not waste this lesson.

His death gave me the will to be free-

As you go through life, opportunities will come your way to prove yourself.

When you wish to be a man, when you wish to be strong-

-You must be willing to pay the price.

I wanted nothing more than to be a man- to be strong.

Strength doesn't fall from the sky.

It is earned through blood, sweat, and tears.

I had asked for this- My actions led to this regret. I was the author of my own tragedy. No one forced me to abandon him that night.

A man overcomes adversity- he forgives himself and pushes past his regrets- to be better than he was yesterday. When you hit rock bottom- you pick yourself up and start the climb out of the hole.

A man must carry his past on his shoulders- to remind himself why he started his journey. Never look back, but never forget the weight it holds.

The life of a man is filled with pain, regret, and struggle. Price of admission.

To be a warrior- you must never forget that once upon a time you were less than a man.

Don't wish for the world to be easier.

Wish for yourself to be better.

In life- people will tell you what it means to be a man- what it means to be strong.

I remember my ex telling me how strong I was in dealing with my friend's death-

I looked at her and told her the truth-

"You have no idea what strength is for a man, because you are not a man."

Only a man can tell another man what it means to be a man.

So when you hear these betas- these slobs on both sides of the gender aisle- tell you what a real man would do, ignore them.

When they cry about hardship.

Of responsibility.

Of stepping up.

Ask yourself-

What have they stood for?

Don't listen to losers on how to win at life.

You are the author of your own life.

You're only as strong as your weakest moment. It's up to you how much pain you must endure to learn your lesson.

Make sure they're few and far between.