This weekend, during a conversation with friends, the subject of the crazy cat lady stereotype came to mind. While it's probably true that single childless women don't all slip into insanity and turn into literal catmongers, it's worth looking into this stereotype, and stereotypes in general.

Stereotypes, harmful or hilarious as they may be, do not come out of nowhere. There is not a grand council that had a meeting one day and decided that "Asians would be good at math" or "Blonde teenagers are ditzy"; rather, over years / decades of observation there was a trend that was noticed, and when assumed to be a stereotype, more often than not it held true. I'm not saying to instantly assume stereotypes are true at all times, but rather look at why stereotypes came to be. In the case of Asians and math, it is entirely possible that their parents saw that higher education was the key to success later in life, and in the subjects that showed the most promise (Engineering, Computer Science, Biology, etc.), advanced math was necessary and useful to know, and hence the parents pushed their kids to study hard and be good at math.

The conversation I spoke of originally was of a high school girl that me and my buddy both had a huge crush on back in the day. Of course, this girl is a 9 or 10 and in high school this meant she had her pick of boys to date/fuck. Naturally she went for the QB of our football team, they went to prom, etc. etc. you've seen this before in plenty of movies. After high school, she married this guy, pumped out one of his kids, they divorced when he turned into a loser, and rather than learn anything she made the same mistakes over and over again. Now, in 2021 (we graduated HS over 20 years ago), after 3 divorces and 4 children of questionable lineage, she is saying she yearns for a man to take care of her, respect her, and most importantly have his finances in order. The stereotypical train wreck of a woman we see on the sub all the time. But why does this happen?

In the case of this particular girl from my high school, by dating the type of men she did (hot body, good looking, not particularly bright jocks, treated her poorly, etc.), she broadcasted to ALL men that this is the type she likes. Which is her right; she's not forced to date anybody she doesn't want to. The problem comes in her late 30s and early 40s when all of a sudden she wants to change course and date the Good MenTM. The Good Men, however, were paying attention and accepted that she is attracted to the stereotypical jock types, and left her to it. Frankly, even if they weren't paying attention, all they'd have to do is peruse her social media and they'd come to that same conclusion.

This epiphany may be why women with no significant other and no children slowly descend into insanity, because while their focus has now changed to Good Men, they continue to aim for the best of the best and refuse to accept their new reality of an unattractive woman (for relationships AND for fucking). Even though they continue to match with the George Costanzas and Steve Urkels of Tinder, they want Christian Grey and won't settle for less. But the reality is that they have done irreversible damage to their love lives, and they unconsciously do not want to reverse course and settle for a lesser Beta, even if he is all she can get at this point. To make an analogy, this is like someone losing all their limbs and still dreaming to be a world-class pianist despite never touching a piano or any musical instrument in their lives.

The women we poke fun at and highlight at this sub may not have lived the same exact life as my old high school classmate, but the trend is there and the stereotype is accurate enough. It's why we advise young women to focus on getting a Good Man in her early 20's when she is in the best position to do so, rather than try and build a career as a lawyer, etc. where they have no qualms about throwing you out on the street at age 45-50. As for this particular woman, I added her as a friend on Facebook, etc. and will keep tabs on her. Not because I care about her, but rather when my daughter is ready I will show her what she can expect for her future if she makes the same mistakes.