This country loving mama almost pulled a quick bait and switch. Which one of you boys can step up to the plate, while I weed myself out?

EffigyDijjih · 2019-08-05T03:34:56+00:00

Don't let the joyless smile, and lifeless eyes fool you. She's happy and a real catch, believe me! I'm sure this old girl's still got plenty of miles left in her. Come on, that silly "wall" surely doesn't exist right?

MKUltraGameShow · 2019-08-05T03:44:16+00:00

That's a lot of makeup and effort to look like a 4/10. Imagine waking up next to this creature.

ClockworkOrange92618 · 2019-08-05T05:39:46+00:00

Used and abused? CHECK

Single mom? CHECK

Nose ring, choke collar, and eyebrows that are obviously not natural? CHECK

Snarky, shit-eating grin like Daenerys from Game of Thrones? CHECK

Who wants to tell this woman that she's at the point in her life when guys start weeding her out?

RedditRouge00 · 2019-08-05T04:05:34+00:00

I like how she says she’s a mom at the end knowing most guys wouldn’t have read that far if it was at the beginning of her bio. It would’ve saved some time reading her bs.

Cyanide-Cookies · 2019-08-05T05:37:26+00:00

"Dont be physically or mentally abusive, I CAN NOT HANDLE IT ANYMORE!!!"

Ah so after all the bad boys she sought out put her through the abuse wringer it's now on you to man up and treat her like the queen she is and take care of the the thug spawn she made with those dudes. Fuck. That.

Land_of_the_Losers · 2019-08-05T04:02:08+00:00

If only she dyed her hair blond, she could cosplay as The Bride of Chucky.

EvilKlownz2 · 2019-08-05T04:43:58+00:00

Thats a hard 25. At least she has a black belt in blowjobs.

OldFashionMarine · 2019-08-05T06:29:29+00:00

"Plus I'm a mom".... Oh is that really a "plus"? Lol

Older_Miggy · 2019-08-05T06:30:31+00:00

Nose rings are for farm animals.

Bestoftherest222 · 2019-08-05T06:24:04+00:00

Her profile says 25, her face says 35.

666sdk666 · 2019-08-05T11:51:41+00:00

To her credit, she’s looking for someone to provide for her crotch goblin(s),’”tolerate” her music and not beat her brains out. She’s not under the common delusion that there are hordes of 6’5” 29 year old billionaire supermodels out there fighting over the scarce supply of deranged, used up single moms.

maximo1984 · 2019-08-05T04:00:17+00:00

It's a bit early for the 'epiphany stage' isn't it? Oh wait, I guess the lower on the scale they are, the faster the wall approaches.

SirKolbath · 2019-08-05T12:47:52+00:00

I work with a fairly pretty, if slightly larger woman in her thirties who got married to her second husband about three years ago. (I sincerely hope it works out for her. She's a nice person, in as much can tell, as I still don't chat or joke with women at work.)

What strikes me about her, other than the two kids from her previous husband and weight struggles, is that she is almost luminous in how pretty her face is. Huge brown eyes and soft brown hair. Natural smile. She literally turns heads.

But she only does this when she is too rushed to put on makeup in the morning. Normally it's caked on goop, fake eyelashes, one skin tone from collar to hairline, crimson smile...

Women need to back off on this cosmetic bullshit. Your contouring isn't "on point", lady. It's literally what artists call "forced perspective" and it's for drawing buildings and walls, not cheekbones!

hotromeoforyou · 2019-08-05T03:47:56+00:00

Wouldn’t fuck even with her make up on .

Like who did ??? and made a baby with her .. some men need to have higher standards.

Buchwild · 2019-08-05T04:45:34+00:00

I'll just let myself out...

SilverGryphon · 2019-08-05T05:13:41+00:00

I will happily weed myself out.

oh_no_aliens · 2019-08-05T09:52:02+00:00

25

Press ❌ to doubt.

SirKolbath · 2019-08-05T12:37:12+00:00

Dear ladies,

If you stick a metal ring in your nose you look like livestock. It is neither pretty, nor cute, nor sexy. It's trashy, revolting, and screams "attention whore.

This has been a Public Service Announcement from the guys who brought you beer milkshakes.

harharry · 2019-08-05T06:06:36+00:00

No physical abuse?

What kind of ghetto bitch are you?

What makes you think you deserve a kind lover now that you are on the physical downhill?

[deleted] · 2019-08-05T12:25:18+00:00

Why do women think fucking with their eyebrows makes them look better?

DangZagnut · 2019-08-05T03:30:26+00:00

Clearly a winner.

mr_kuk · 2019-08-05T06:20:04+00:00

Someone please adult for her!

Uruke · 2019-08-05T08:45:11+00:00

The only things that aren't fake are her eyeballs. Everything else about her is altered in some shape or form.

Badrinminton · 2019-08-05T11:31:04+00:00

Why do they always say "cuddle"?

They always say that in the beginning

TruthSeekingPerson · 2019-08-05T10:36:50+00:00

That makeup is nauseating.

kyledontcare · 2019-08-05T12:05:17+00:00

That is not 25.

aussielander · 2019-08-05T08:48:04+00:00

Only part score, she left out '..I like the taste of man's milk every morning'

bushwicksick · 2019-08-05T11:13:07+00:00

High school level education, single mother, has bastard child(ren), abused by Chads/Juans/Tyrones... We have a winner!!

Sub-Sero · 2019-08-05T12:38:27+00:00

don't be mentally or physically abusive!!!

Get me a beer bitch! When's dinner ready? That shit again, seriously you're going on cooking lessons to expand the meals you can cook because this is unacceptable. Seriously, you're ass is looking big today, you need to go on a diet. Your eyebrows are to big fix that shit, you're walking around with a permanent surprised expression you dumb bitch. Did you just wake up next to me without make-up on, damn, you're ugly, go fix that yourself and then come present yourself and i'll check if it's acceptable. In fact let's book an appointment and get yourself some permanent make-up tattoo work done. No need for all this fucking overpriced cosmetic bullshit, it's time for permanent clown face porn star look. All you'll have to do is add some foundation and fake lashes, but that's allot for your lazy ass anyway right. Bitch, have you gotten me my beer yet? Come here and suck it while i watch the game.

Ah the joys of being an asshole.

apekingorange · 2019-08-05T12:39:36+00:00

Country music deserves so much better.

5shad · 2019-08-05T12:47:34+00:00

I'd smash it and that's all she's good for.

Bruchibre · 2019-08-05T13:22:57+00:00

I'll forward her profile to my friend Captain Save-a-Ho while I also weed myself out.

HitTheWall88 · 2019-08-05T13:50:38+00:00

I can't stand chicks who wear that purple/maroon lipstick. It just screams whore to me.

Bronzeraptor · 2019-08-05T16:43:20+00:00

Sorry, I weeded myself out when you used two conjunctions to start sentences. If you cannot be bothered to do grade school grammar, why should I trust you with anything more complex?

xonoma89 · 2019-08-08T16:41:23+00:00

"Something casual" atleast shes honest about not being done with the cock carousel.

666sdk666 · 2019-08-05T09:42:03+00:00

Firing up the weed eater

patstoddard · 2019-08-05T11:16:14+00:00

Something casual huh?

altair43 · 2019-08-05T12:37:22+00:00

The reditter below this post should take one for the team!!!

[deleted] · 2019-08-05T13:46:12+00:00

Jesus that’s on old 25 yo.

8o880 · 2019-08-05T14:44:12+00:00

Imagine your mom wearing a fucking choker

ayram3824 · 2019-08-05T15:36:59+00:00

"im a mom" should be the first sentence in every bio for mothers

jasejase78 · 2019-08-06T05:57:01+00:00

We will weed ourselves out for you, the loser wins her. Run forest run

meerita · 2019-08-05T17:48:18+00:00

25 she already draws her eyebrows. She has to be so ugly to do that.

coiluniverse · 2019-08-06T15:36:06+00:00

That’s Pennywise’s sister, I expect her to be standing in a gutter looking up at me lol.

[deleted] · 2019-08-06T21:19:44+00:00

+10 for the choke necklace. That's an MBA in cockgobbling

Jakobro7 · 2019-08-13T00:45:18+00:00

Why did I read "mom" as "man" the first time round?

40Klover123 · 2019-08-26T03:05:46+00:00

These women are hilarious. GO DATE THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILDREN!

BukakiTsunami · 2019-08-28T20:03:46+00:00

Mimi from the Drew Carey show?

Sake99 · 2019-08-05T09:05:59+00:00

Tons of makeup but atleast she is not a single mom.

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