We have all heard this saying.

"Men think with their little head"

And when we hear it, many of us, deep down inside have a problem with it. It is like a needless shaming insult, usually coming from other men, but women say it too. Sure, it has a comical ring to it, but over time it pisses me off more and more.

But why does this strike a negative chord?

Here's why:

Because the mistakes we make with women (falling in love with the wrong one, getting one pregnant in a moment of foolish passion, proposing, etc.) have almost nothing to do with our "little heads" and everything to do with a concoction of VERY powerful chemicals.

This Harvard study (I do not worship Harvard the way others do, but they are somewhat credible) does a good job at breaking this down. Read it for yourself, but the TL;DR is: Powerful hormones and other chemicals (Dopamine, Oxytocin, and Norepinephrine in particular) have an incredibly powerful effect on decision making under the right conditions. We are quite literally on drugs when we are affected by these natural chemicals.

So, there are TWO things (at least) to keep in mind:

  1. Do not listen to people when they say "men think with their penis". It is not meant to be honest, it is meant as an insult and any person who says shit like this should either be called out on the stop or permanently ignored. Don't even tolerate one smidgeon of this bullshit. It should not be insulting to you, it should be embarrassing for them to utter such nonsense.

  2. When people are drunk or on drugs, they are incapable of consent. We all know this as men. And we also know that if BOTH participants in a sex act are equally intoxicated, only the MALE will be held accountable (for reasons that still escape me). So while it is understandable that men make foolish decisions when under the influence of Serotonin, Oxytocin, norepinephrine, dopamine, testosterone and who knows what else, do not expect any understanding from anyone. And also, don't even try using this as an excuse. It is STILL on us to manage these influences.

Men, in many ways, we are still living in the dark ages. Yes, it seems cool because we have the internet and robots are on Mars and all, but our collective understanding of human behavior, and the internal processes that drive those behaviors, are deliberately ignored in our "Justice" system. Never mind society at large.

Much of the world is quite literally ignorant of these simple facts despite the plethora of scientific knowledge in this area. Even doctors who know better would still say ignorant things like "Well, you should just learn to control that." Drop that doctor and never return. These fools are to be ignored. full stop.

Sadly, we will not likely live to see a time when the average citizen knows about these things and how tightly they can grip a man's entire being when under the influence. But we know. So let's talk to our boys, and let's remind them that most adult women and most decision makers are quite frankly too stupid to understand these things.

And even those who do, will STILL go back to old tropes like "Well if you would just stop thinking with your..."