What helped you move on from an emotionally abusive relationship? Did you use any techniques to cope with intrusive thoughts?

I (F27) am divorcing my soon-to-be ex husband (29M) of 1 year, 7 years dating before then. Five months ago, I physically separated from him and moved across the country to be with family; I'm a law student and thankfully we have a remote option this semester. I filed two months ago, but thanks to a painfully slow court system, I'm just serving him papers this week. No kids, no shared assets to fight over. Roughly ~100 days to go until I'm legally free.

I went to therapy almost every week for three months, then switched to biweekly, and now am just seeing the therapist when I feel I need to (she's expensive). I've processed a lot with her, with trusted friends/family, and by myself. I've read "Why Does He Do That" and other books about emotional abuse. I'm working on myself and generally feel good about my worth. I'm not dating at least until the divorce finalizes, although I have lurked here and there to get a sense of what dating apps, and men, are like these days.

But I still get so many intrusive thoughts about my relationship and they can be really hard to deal with. The objectifying sex, the times when he mocked my emotions, the gaslighting, the insistence that he was "emotionally intelligent" and I wasn't, getting yelled at when he was stressed, all of his "I don't remember that"s when I brought up something he did that was hurtful, the way he invited my rapist to the wedding and then blamed me for not "being more insistent" that this was a problem, his threats to break up with me when I tried to delay the wedding, or when I resisted moving in with him after we got engaged... just constant intrusive thoughts. The icing on the cake is the more recent stuff after we separated, like when he told me that he never was in love with me, that I was stupid for wanting that out of marriage, and that I should be institutionalized.

At this point, I can't tell if I'm more mad about the events themselves, or if still need to work on forgiving myself for not laughing at him and jumping ship ASAP. I know I can do so much better. But I'm desperate for any tips on to help process it. I'm doing my best but it's hard.