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SadClownProstitute Archive

View 0 posts and 407 comments by SadClownProstitute on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

HVM don't tell you to fuck off.
/r/askFDS15/03/21 02:13 PM
8

If your best friend tells you to fuck off, you need to make better friends.
/r/askFDS13/03/21 06:48 PM
11

I like to follow Keanu Reeves' advice - if friends push you away, they shouldn't expect you to be waiting for them so they can love you again when it's convenient for them. You tried to support this person and they told you to fuck off, and made you feel like you were at fault for caring. I think you should abide by that instruction and just carry on with your life.
/r/askFDS13/03/21 03:14 PM
335

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Glad you're there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:20 AM
6

newbies post about their HV boyfriend. Their "HV" boyfriend who is being crowned HV solely because he is rich and managed to keep it together for two dates so far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 01:10 AM
3

I'm going to be the dissenting voice among the answers you've gotten, and say that I do think it's something you should discuss with your husband. I think having a secret savings account is a recipe for disaster. First off, if you get caught hiding money while your marriage is good, you're going to look and feel like a liar. He's going to think you're actively planning to leave, which it sounds like you're not. Worse, if he's got any sort of temper, a surprise like that could put you in danger. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:48 AM
81

You know who else speaks about women with authority, but from a place of ignorance? Incels. The people she identifies with to the point where she's written articles defending them. She strikes me as the sort of woman who has probably struggled with relationships, and maybe has been treated low-key badly by men all her life, but is stuck in the headspace that if she just tried hard enough to figure out how to make men like her, things will work out. More than anything else, I feel really sorry fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:13 AM
91

I turn them down, and I also have my reddit PMs shut off so nobody can message me privately unless I've specifically whitelisted them. If someone wants to insult or threaten me, they'll have to do it publicly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:02 AM
91

I really do wonder if, now that she's experiencing the not-so-great side of interacting with men online, she might feel like maybe one woman writing "ass garbage" once was really worth complaining about. I can't wait for the reinvention in three or six months where she writes an article for Jezebel saying "I spoke up for men, and they attacked me - my experience is unique and dramatic, and I can't believe how much I've changed as a person!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 12:00 AM
146

I mean - I think she's a clown but I hate that she's getting dogpiled on like that. At the same time, Dominique, please do tell us about how awful it is that a single random poster called men on dating apps "ass garbage" once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:25 PM
51

I just really disagree with the idea that communication is the key in this case. He never communicated to her when he decided to quit doing foreplay and hammer away until he climaxed, he just started doing it. He unilaterally decided that their sex life was all about his pleasure - this was a choice he made independent of any communication with her, so clearly her input was neither wanted nor necessary. If he wanted to do foreplay, he would - he has in the past and knows it was something OP like…
/r/askFDS11/03/21 09:12 PM
30

Yes, we've finally reached peak pickme - that moment when a woman insults another woman by calling her a woman. What a fool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:27 PM
23

SRSLY - I thought that it was inherently wrong that we "should adjust our lives and presentation to filter out the ones that we want and get rid of the ones that we don’t want” How ironic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:24 PM
9

Clearly, they feel that the solution is to make nice with men - make them feel valued and appreciated and important. NEWS FLASH - we have been doing that for generations! We have spent 2000 years of recorded history doing what we are told, being kind and sweet, speaking softly and submitting, and IT HAS NOT WORKED. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, then continuing to keep our heads down and accept things the way they are would be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:10 PM
0

You called OP's post condescending and claimed that there are "smart valid reasons" for being an SAHM (though you never did say what those smart valid reasons were). It's not a stretch for me to assume that you are, or have been an SAHM, otherwise why would you be so defensive? If you're not an SAHM and never wanted to be but you're in here picking fights just to be contrarian, that's kind of a shame, and a waste of both your time and mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 06:59 PM
1

Nobody called women stupid for staying at home. They called staying at home risky. You took that as criticism and hastened to tell everyone there's really no risk as long as you're smart. Meaning that anyone who risked it and the risk didn't pay off, isn't as smart as you. You were lucky. I'm glad you were lucky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 04:59 PM
8

I think all of them were awful in their own ways, but Joey seemed awful out of ignorance rather than malice, which makes him a wee bit less awful, imho. I don't even care though. Sometimes you just have to make popcorn and accept the fact that the show you're watching has entertainment value even if there is no positive social message.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:20 PM
6

The only way to enjoy Friends is to accept that it was very representative of it's time, and we shouldn't be looking to it for ideas or advice. That said, I regularly say JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD when someone tries to take a french fry from my plate. I'm on my fourth series rewatch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 01:38 PM
27

Back in early 2020, there was a US politician, Rolanda Hollis from Alabama, who was trying to make people understand why legislating women's reproductive rights is a bad idea. To do this, she introduced a bill requiring men to undergo a mandatory vasectomy when he turns 50 or after his third child is born, whichever comes first. Obviously there was a huge outcry from men clutching their pearls about how iT'S MY Body You caN't TAke mY ChoIces AWaY FRoM mE. IIRC, FDS was pretty amused by the backl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 01:35 PM
15

Yes, absolutely, because then they could spend hours and hours dissecting every single conversation in depth and showing their sisters and mothers why the men are right and their sisters and mothers are wrong. "Oh I know you don't like that he is having an ongoing affair with someone at work, but let's really dig into what is wrong with you that made him do such a thing - once we fix you, he'll stop cheating!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 01:29 PM
5

That's good for you but please do check the paperwork and ensure that it says "two signatures required", not just that there are two signers on the account. That's how some of their joint assets disappeared - the paperwork specified that either/or could divest the asset, not that both were required to do it. The reason the bank gave was that if one of you dies, the other one owns the account outright, but in reality, leaving it that way just means that either partner can close the account withou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 12:59 PM
4

This community regularly presents ideas from a risk-based perspective. "If you do X, you need to consider the risk of Y". It's not an attack on people who do X. Being an SAHM is a risky perspective for the vast majority of women. You know how I know this? By how defensive you and others are about the topic and how perfectly it worked for YOU. You feel personally attacked by OP's words, but if you actually read them, it's all about risks. OP never called SAHM's stupid, but several of you are out …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 12:04 PM
44

His paycheck goes into our joint account I transfer 20% to our savings...We have stocks and a retirement savings and everything's with both our names on it... This is exactly how my BFF's mom and dad ran their household. Their income went to joint accounts and she handled all of their finances. The day my bff's mom's husband of 12 years decided he wanted to date someone else, he went to the bank, emptied all the joint accounts, took the largest cash advance he could take from their joint line of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 12:01 AM
68

I made him deposit his entire earnings each month into a JOINT account When you say "made", do you mean that you had to force him to do it? What would you have done if he had changed his mind and stopped doing it after the child was conceived or born? It would have been too late then. I had an account solely in my name I put half the money into. What would you have done if he had objected to this, or again, changed his mind about it, and started putting his pay into his own private account? You …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 10:01 PM
28

For a guy who coined the acronym DTMFA to encourage people to leave their shitty partners, he's really made some negative strides. I used to be a huge fan of his column but somewhere along the way, he went from "you should never do things you find disgusting and objectionable" to "OMG you're the problem - just give him what he wants." I am sad that he's gone the full circle from telling gay children that "It Gets Better", to telling women "he's going to fuck around and you should accept that bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 02:04 PM
31

My opinion - if he's saying or doing things that make you feel short-changed or inadequate or unappreciated, then there's a problem, but if he's not watching porn, and you're being completely satisfied, and he's not making you feel like he can do it better himself, I would say you're overthinking it.
/r/askFDS10/03/21 01:27 AM
1

I came here to say this! Re-evaluate what "mean" is, because "mean" and "not going out of my way to make a total stranger feel special" really are two different things! We're taught from a young age that we owe the world warmth and kindness and grace and the benefit of the doubt, and we should give those things at the expense of our own comfort and happiness, but that's bollocks - we owe those things to ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:29 PM
69

Yeah, I'm all for telling him early, face to face or over the phone, once you've had at least a phone call or a zoom call to make sure you aren't being catfished, but definitely don't advertise it on OLD. Advertising your kids on OLD is just Craigslist for bad guys. Disclaimer: I don't have kids so what the heck do I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 01:56 AM
25

The number one thing you can do to break out of this is to start treating yourself with more respect. You shouldn't be having sex out of obligation or because you feel like you owe it. If you have expressed to the guy you're seeing that you don't want sex, just cuddles, and he pushes for more, then you need to block and delete him and move on. If you express it and he doesn't push, but pouts or acts sad or withholds affection, or punishes you in any way, you need to block and delete him and move…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:13 PM
9

It depends on what part of 50/50 you are. Do you mean you aren't sure how to stop seeing relationships as transactional? Clarify a bit and I'm sure people will be able to come up with ideas and suggestions! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:01 PM
48

I’ve paid half before and then immediately blocked him while walking to my car. YEP - this is an absolutely valid thing to do! Though I have told guys my theory on the mindset of 50/50 men, it's not our job to educate men on how to be decent people. I only do it if we've been on a good date and the guy seems like a person who might be able to take my words on board and maybe think them over. If I get any idea that the guy is in any way creepy or weird or throwing up any other red flags, it's bes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:19 PM
106

"Well I paid for the gas, so you can buy us drinks." Oh my goodness, yes! 50/50 guys keep a running tally in their heads at all times, and feel the need to always tell you what you owe him. And that behavior will continue through the relationship - you will constantly be told that you are in a deficit position. It won't even change when you start having sex, or move in together, because every single concession you make, every bit of ground you give up, he will feel that he is entitled to that. Y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 06:58 PM
71

I overtly say no because it doesn't really matter, that dates over. He is either going to respond with a demand that I pay my half in which case I will, or he's going to suddenly pay the bill for both of us but let me know he's disappointed. The only time I wouldn't say no openly is if he knew my address or I was in some other way in danger because it turns out he's got a bad temper or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 06:47 PM
66

Absolutely! And the flip side, too - if they don't want to, they won't! If they don't want you to pay 50%, they won't even ask! If they're asking, it's because they actually do want you to pay your half, even if they're pretending to ask a rhetorical question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 05:46 PM
464

Once a guy asks me that question, I just assume we're no longer on a date, we're out as friends, so as his friend, I tell him this; I don't date 50/50 guys because in my experience, a 50/50 mindset is an obstacle to a long-term relationship. I can afford to pay my way and also his. Money is not the issue. The issue is the mindset of a 50/50 guy. A 50/50 guy is starting the relationship off as transactional and adversarial. He feels that if he pays for dinner, you are taking advantage of him, unl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 05:38 PM
212

Oh my god. They're really out there living the clown life. Any man who says "not all men" but then is friends with people like this, is all men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:07 AM
462

Did that guy call a woman a "plate"? That's really crazy! This is why encouraging other women to have self respect is so important. Male lurkers, THIS is why we won't accept coffee dates anymore - this dude ruined it for you by making it about the expense, not the experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:44 AM
28

Yeah, I second this. On one hand, it's nice that he's showing he's eager and interested. On the other hand, if we've told him that we're really busy with work and he's still constantly double-texting, that's a buzzkill. It comes across as him either not respecting our time, or him being needy instead of enthusiastic. There IS a difference.
/r/askFDS02/03/21 10:25 PM
49

I cackled! Seriously though - the whole "men are visual creatures" thing baffles me. Women also have eyesight which will be offended if you present yourself as exploded laundry basket. It's not like we're out here with blinders and an uncaring attitude towards your unkempt hair. We see you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:21 PM
41

I'm really glad you had a great time, but keep in mind it's way too early for you to be hanging an HVM crown on this man. Don't stop vetting because you had one nice experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 10:20 PM
50

When you work a full time job to pay the bills so he can "work on his novel" for four years. When you get a full-time job instead of finishing your education, so that he can finish his education, because "when I graduate, babe, my earning potential is so much higher so you'll be able to stay home". When he's emotionally messed up and you spend years being his therapist, and then when he heals enough to be a good partner, he goes and finds someone who he hasn't damaged and starts a relationship w…
/r/askFDS22/02/21 12:48 AM
36

Girl you posted about still being heartbroken over it SIX DAYS ago. You're the one acting ridiculous. It's okay for YOU to be heartbroken and need help and support, but not okay for OP? That's just toxic.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 10:53 PM
46

Look, you're being kind of rude here. A few days ago you were posting about how you were looking for a sugar daddy while you were still in a relationship with a man who treated you terribly, and people were very supportive of you. You can't benefit from the kindness of this community and then treat another woman like garbage because she is facing different challenges than you.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 10:28 PM
4

Reading Anne of Green Gables is a really interesting way to process the idea of daydreaming as a valid way to pass time. The Netflix series called Anne is based mostly on that book, but it takes a slightly different tack - in the books, Anne daydreams because it's a lovely way to spend time. In the TV series, Anne daydreams because it's a way for her to deal with her PTSD. In the TV series, the daydreaming is a coping mechanism, but it's also a thing she enjoys. In both the book and the TV serie…
/r/askFDS19/02/21 06:17 PM
7

You had a limited interaction and are posting that you think he seems like an HVM. It's too soon for that.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 02:39 AM
9

Do you see how your "limited interaction" clashes with the concept of "established, long-term pattern"? Your desire to label someone as HVM long before you even know what he's like is going to bite you in the butt. You don't need to turf every human male automatically unless you think he might be HVM - all that leads to exactly what you're doing, which is giving people the benefit of trust before they've done anything to earn it. Guys you've never (or barely) interacted with are just M - neither…
/r/askFDS19/02/21 01:48 AM
8

It's wayyy too early to be saying he seems to be an HVM. Right now he's just an M you know nothing about. Even if he's rich as hell, money doesn't make a man an HVM, character does. An established long term pattern of being a decent man who treats himself AND you with kindness and respect, and who is emotionally and financially stable is what makes a man an HVM.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 12:45 AM
291

It's not even male comfort. This woman is actively making money by letting men lurk in a breastfeeding forum without the participants knowing it. They're basically selling access to these women's private stories of motherhood, and by extension, access to their Facebook profiles so that these men can then go follow these moms back to their own page where these guys can look at pictures of the moms and likely babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:46 PM
143

His "amazing" relationship, which was so amazing that now it's over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:00 PM
18

I thought this was a perfectly healthy thing to do. Daydreaming has always felt like a way for me to keep my mind sharp. It's...fun. The only difference between being in a fictional world that someone else has created (like a book or movie/tv show) and being in a fictional world that I have created, is that I always get to have whatever kind of ending I feel like that day. I've thought it was totally normal all my life, probably because I read Anne of Green Gables when I was pretty young, and th…
/r/askFDS16/02/21 04:10 PM
2

Sounds like love-bombing to me. You can proceed if you want to, but be wary. Don't just assume he's into you because of things he says - only watch his actions and make sure they are consistent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 10:00 PM
10

Totally depends on what "all" means. Usually when "they" say that, "have it all" means you having a successful well paying career AND a nuclear family in which you are the mother/nurse/carer/cook/housekeeper for the whole household, while your husband also has a successful and well paying career. I wouldn't even want it all, if that's what's on the table. For those people, "all" does not include your happiness or mental health or self-care. I don't think you can have absolutely all of those thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:15 AM
2

It's all in the fine print when you click through to purchase. In tiny pale gray text on almost every website you buy flowers from, it says something like "this is a representation only. Vendor may substitute flowers as necessary". At least when I ordered from FTD I was able to get a refund through customer service, but smaller websites are like "haha you accepted the terms that said we could do substitutions. Suck it!". I had to do a visa charge back for those. Amusingly, it was always a man ex…
/r/askFDS14/02/21 03:09 PM
15

YES! I also used my hairbrush! It was one of those ones with the super scratchy plastic bristles. The whole night was pretty bad all around!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:45 AM
156

I say, fake it till we make it!! Let's normalize videos of men and women loving and caring for each other!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:12 AM
46

I remember one in the early 90's where you were supposed to blindfold your man then rub things on his dick and balls. Things like a fork and anything else you had laying around. Cue me, in a hotel room with my bf, blindfolding him and rubbing his balls with the bottom of a glass ashtray because that's what I had to work with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:06 AM
4

Once I ordered my mom a giant bouquet full of roses and lilies and a peony and she got 12 chrysanthemums and a handful of baby's breath. It's truly crazy.
/r/askFDS14/02/21 02:36 AM
12

Flowers ordered from a florist can show up looking MUCH different than advertised. Almost every time I bought flowers for my mom, the bouquet she received is much, MUCH smaller and lame than the picture. Not excusing him - go with your gut, and age gap relationships are hard enough.
/r/askFDS14/02/21 01:24 AM
46

Congratulations on making this good change for yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 04:50 PM
133

When you say "I needed a new sponsor", do you mean you were in a sugarbaby relationship with this man? I think it's really important to spend some time working on yourself so that you don't need to rely on a man to pay your bills, to the point where you need to overlap relationships in order to survive. Take good care of yourself, and I'm sorry you're so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 04:32 PM
8

This brings to mind something an LVM from my past told me on a cold winter day in 1994. "Women can sleep with any man they want. Men can only sleep with women who will let them."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 12:23 AM
273

Jesus. Dude found a woman who absolutely wanted everything he had and he STILL had to go looking for someone else to sling dick to? And your BFF was like "if it's good enough for her, it's good enough for me!". What a perfectly matched pair of turds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:24 PM
53

Yes, you should ask him to leave, right now, without delay! And when he's gone, block him and delete him, and read the handbook - no living with a boyfriend! Absolutely nothing you do or say is going to make him start acting any differently. This is who he is. Don't be with a man who will treat you badly, even if you live long distance.
/r/askFDS09/02/21 03:22 PM
12

My god, she doesn't even recognize the fundamental difference between "he has his own private office space, and my office is on the kitchen island". She might as well just say "with no discussion at all, we've agreed that he deserves an office with a closed door where he never has to shuffle his laptop and work shit all over the house from place to place to find an uninterrupted moment, but as for me, the kitchen island is fine, after all, I am the less important worker in the house."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 02:01 PM
17

On one hand, I like your overall "fuck you" energy, but on the other hand, you could be using this energy to do other things. I really disagree with doing this. You'd be wasting time and energy on this loser when you know darned well he's not going to learn any lessons. He doesn't deserve the time you spend looking for penis pics to send back.
/r/askFDS09/02/21 01:54 PM
72

Never speak to this guy again. His particular kind of brokenness is catching. I am speaking from experience. If you keep going back to him, in a few months, you will be second-guessing every word you say. You will mentally rehearse every word you say so that you can make sure you say it in the nicest possible way to try to keep his temper from flaring. In a year, you will be afraid to speak for fear of making him angry, but you will not be allowed to be silent because he will scream at you for "…
/r/askFDS09/02/21 01:48 PM
15

As hard as Bridgerton shit the bed, it was somewhat nice to see a reminder that there was a time where it was absolutely normal for a woman to be publicly pursued by a lot of different guys until she accepted a proposal. None of them were like "oh so are you talking to anyone else?" and then offended because he wasn't her only suitor. The default was "well, she's talking to six hundred other guys, I better shit or get off the pot." Maaan, a few subtle plot changes and that show would have been a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 01:39 PM
8

I have my DM's and chats switched off completely - that's the very best way to keep losers from spewing their garbage. They're mostly too cowardly to do it publicly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 01:24 PM
1

I agree! Even if he brings more money, I'm still not sure I see the correlation. If he works a lot more hours, maybe, but if you've got a couple with 9 to 5 jobs it doesn't make a bunch of sense that she's responsible for the household chores.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 12:58 PM
3

Nobody ever said a man has to do all the chores though. That person you responded to said "I'm not doing those things when I'm married either" they didn't say "I'm never going to contribute to the relationship in any way" but your first response was "if you're not going to cook and clean who will, your husband's housekeeper?" and all your follow-up questions circle right back to "if she won't do it who will, and if she won't do it, why should he?".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 07:22 PM
4

?? You ask "if she won't do the domestic duties why should he be responsible for them?" which makes it sound like to you, the very thought of a man being responsible for those household tasks is completely incomprehensible. I feel like maybe you meant to ask a more technical question, like maybe you meant to ask "what sounds like a good division of labor to you" but the way you asked it, and all your follow-up questions, seem to indicate that you have never even considered the question the other…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 07:10 PM
9

That's the same blind spot. Basically what you're saying is that the only two options for her to get clean underwear is to either wash it herself or have her husband's housekeeper do it. It's like you can't even process the obvious answer, which is that if he's washing his own laundry he should be able to do his wife's as well. Nothing is stopping a man from doing laundry for the whole household.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 06:39 PM
20

I think the reason you got downvoted was that your question was essentially "if you won't cook and clean, who will, your husband's housekeeper?", which means that you've got a bit of a blind spot and maybe some internalized misogyny going on. You never even stopped to consider that men are perfectly capable of cooking and cleaning, you went straight to "if you won't do the 'woman's work' some other woman will have to". Unless he is chained to a piano somewhere, there seems to be no reason he can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:36 PM
7

"no big deal"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 07:13 PM
9

Yeah, the gen-x guys I dated in my teens and twenties expected to have to pay for dates but never had any expectation of sex afterwards. The guys I had sex with in my 20s never had any expectation that I would do anal, or want to be slapped or spit on or degraded during sex. They didn't express any preferences about what my labia should look like, and had no expectations about whether I had bush or not. Their minds were completely blown if I engaged in fellatio, because it wasn't a thing that ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:46 PM
8

Yep, that's the gift of porn that keeps on giving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:31 PM
13

I am Gen X and I don't think I agree with this generalization. I have been trying to put my thoughts together to explain why, and even wrote a long-winded explanation. Ultimately, though, I think I just struggle with the idea that gen-xers are the root of the problem, but I shouldn't be writing 1500 word essays on why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 05:21 PM
59

Because it's no fun if the women actually want to do it. It's only titillating when there are threats involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 04:20 PM
7

The craziness of your words general made me wonder if you're OK, so I browsed through your comment history to try to make it make sense. Something about it makes me think you're in FDS, just LARPing as a woman, and here you're talking about your dick, so... I guess this conversation is over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 12:01 PM
25

Spend time getting ready to put your best foot forward at Starbucks because he can't commit to being sociable and interesting for two solid hours over a decent meal? All the time risking the chance that he'll show up in battered sweats and a bleach-stained hoodie because "it's just coffee". God no. This is why we vet before the first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 01:07 AM
8

i dumped them ALL myself Sure but you dated and married them first. So far it kind of sounds like you want a long string of low quality relationships, so I guess you definitely do get what you want! No offense, but I think it's worth considering raising your standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 11:59 PM
15

He didn't rape her, all he did is coerce her into having sex she didn't want. Jaysus. That sounds to me like the argument of someone who has also coerced someone into sex they didn't want, but doesn't like to think of it as rape because it didn't happen while she was passed out behind a dumpster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:50 PM
23

So... from all the times you asked men out, you have an ex husband and a string of failed relationships to show for your efforts? I'm glad you found FDS! I hope that you read the handbook and find some success!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:40 PM
22

God yeah, think of all the sympathy he'll get from his buddies and his next girlfriends when he shows pictures of his home and pet food dishes covered in glitter. He'll tell them about how his psycho ex made his cat sick, and he'll be technically right. Just block and ghost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 10:17 PM
11

Therapy. Nobody can find your balance for you, except you.
/r/askFDS17/01/21 05:50 PM
12

Congratulations for recognizing this pattern! Attaining self awareness about your choices is such a huge level-up! The only thing I can say about this is that you shouldn't know what they ended up doing after things ended between you. You shouldn't know about his next girlfriend or how his therapy is going or what he does for work now. None of those things have anything to do with you, and taking the time to notice these things is just given these men energy they don't deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 05:43 PM
1

The text says the right thing but the lyrics of the song are saying something else entirely lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 05:21 PM
25

Yeeeep! Lord help a man who tried to say a decent thing, but somehow manages to say it in the most awful way possible!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 05:49 PM
78

It's just so stupid, isn't it, beating your wife. It's your wife. It's like keying your own car. Jimmy Carr
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 04:01 PM
83

Because they have no life experience, and no idea that being chosen as a side chick is not a compliment. All they see is an adult male who appears to be stable (he isn't, but she doesn't have the life experience to understand that), and who is perfectly happy to throw her a line about how his wife doesn't "understand him". The problem is not these young women, it's the men who prey on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 03:51 PM
3

This person is exactly right - get therapy, but make sure you're holding your therapist to the same standards as you're trying to live by. Never be afraid to turf a therapist who is a bad fit.
/r/askFDS14/01/21 12:14 AM
46

You move forward by feeling a bit bad for the next girl, and being glad it's not you anymore. It's very abstract, but you need to keep thinking about the fact that he IS being punished, by himself. No matter how well he's treated, he's miserable, so miserable that he needs to drag down anyone who shows him any kind of affection. That's incredibly sad and pathetic, but also, it's his choice to act this way, so there's nothing to do but block him and never think about him. Also, you really shouldn…
/r/askFDS14/01/21 12:11 AM
117

To me, nurturing is more of an emotional thing that requires a fair exchange, while mothering is more of a physical thing that is mostly one-sided. Moms make food and do laundry and clean houses and kiss boo boos and act like a therapist, pack lunches make appointments and plan outings. Mothering is emotional and physical labor. Nurturing is loving and supporting something or someone who brings you joy, and requires a minimal amount of physical labor. My plants bring me joy. My cats bring me joy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 11:36 PM
20

Keep in mind "if he wanted to, he would". If he wanted to be friends with you, he would, but what he wants is to do this - to keep you coming and going and wasting your time. It's been going on for so long. I'm so sorry this is happening - I know I come across as very unsympathetic, but I know what it's like to hope for the best and keep on getting the worst. Also, as women it's been trained into us that any negative emotional response is overreacting, hysterical, wrong, and embarassing. It's re…
/r/askFDS13/01/21 02:11 AM
34

Tough love - the problem isn't him, it's you. You're making excuses. He's been pushing your boundaries for years and you've been letting him and justifying his actions. There have never been consequences for his behavior so of course he continues to act this way. If he truly felt like shit every time he pushed your boundaries he probably would have stopped at some point but he hasn't. Over the course of decades, you have never been able to teach him a lesson. To make him stop. Block him and neve…
/r/askFDS13/01/21 01:40 AM
101

Teen girls because they don't have a lot of life and experience and don't know much about boundaries or respect and can be fooled and manipulated. Single moms because there is a sense that women who already have children have a lower value, and therefore are more desperate for male attention and more willing to take crap. Fat women, for two reasons. There's an expectation that fat women are desperate, have low self-esteem, and will take all the abuse they are given in exchange for a very small a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 12:52 AM
60

The sort of guy you block on all platforms and just never think of again. That's the sort of guy you're dealing with. No more warnings, no more explanations. Block and delete everywhere and never speak to him again. He's getting a thrill from the fact that you'll even bother trying to teach him how inappropriate he is. Wasting your time probably feels as good to him as a foot massage.
/r/askFDS13/01/21 12:28 AM
3

I won't repost the entire contents, but a little while ago, I posted a series of comments with lots of examples of why women are so disinclined to give a blunt refusal - it's because we can literally be killed for doing it. It's full of names and links to sources. Here's the link to that series of comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 03:44 PM
35

She's not saying married in a year though - I'd totally agree that would be bad situation. Dating for a year, engaged for a year doesn't sound disastrous to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:46 PM
6

That cough-into-the-hand-then-shake-hands move gave me a full body cringe! Lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:28 PM
12

I haven't watched yet, but in general, I think sitting there and taking it is a full on power move. Jerks need a reaction to feel good - if you deny them a big reaction, you deny them their emotional orgasm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:01 PM
25

I totally agree with pelvic muscles exercises, but jade is porous, so I suggest stainless steel ben wa balls - easier to clean, less likelihood of bacterial growth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:12 PM
4

God yes - there's nothing an angry entitled person likes better than the opportunity to preach at you about how you failed and tell you how you could be better, and nothing they hate more than being denied that opportunity. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. Indifference can be awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 08:12 PM
18

Funny thing is, I have absolutely no problem imagining some guys putting in the money, time, and effort to learn how to play the frigging pan-pipes just so he can avoid paying for dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 05:25 PM
25

Imagine his shock, his absolute gut-wrenching astonishment, about the fact that your response was essentially "OK bye". I suspect that he was completely expecting you to say "What about me, let's be together forever, please let me try to win your affection back!" There's no other reason for him to tell you about this and ALSO tell you that he was rejected, unless he wanted you to know that he's still free and may possibly be open to getting enthusiastic BJ's from you in the near future, so you c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 05:19 PM
121

Make a plan to get him out of your place, or find a place of your own, because you cannot keep living with a man who treated you so terribly. It will get worse. There is no good outcome. He will want to punish you for not giving him the forgiveness he probably feels he is owed. He'll act out by making it impossible for you to move on and see other people, or he'll start bringing girls home. Worse, he might just act really sorry for a really long time, and offer to be friends and cuddle on the co…
/r/askFDS31/12/20 04:59 PM
4

For your own safety and mental health, you need to start by blocking this man everywhere, which you say you've done, but somehow you also know about his new friends and what they're into. You should not be able to see who his friends are or what his online activity looks like. Block him and block anyone he's friends with who is posting anything gross. Block anyone who is still friends with him and who makes you feel like they believe what he's saying about you. You should not feel stupid. You we…
/r/askFDS31/12/20 03:49 PM
19

Total power move - order a gin and ginger, make fierce eye contact while you chug it down, put a twenty on the bar and tell him "thanks, that was great!" then toss your hair and walk away. You just need to make sure the bartender sees the $20 you put down, so your cheap-ass ex-date doesn't pocket it and then pretend that you walked out without paying. But seriously, don't meet at a bar for drinks on the first date, and don't order anything with alcohol on a first or second date. You'll never fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 02:52 PM
2

Oh I get it! Still, hell no - your vagina is magical and you don't need a man to deal with it properly anyway! :D
/r/askFDS31/12/20 02:25 PM
3

Like do you mean that your ex treated you so badly that you now hate other women? Girl no. It's not women's fault your ex was a jerk.
/r/askFDS31/12/20 02:19 PM
3

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:22 AM
6

You're still making excuses for him. He prioritized you by living in a different city so he could try to avoid a 9 to 5 job? That's bollocks. He's loyal and devoted but doesn't take you on dates and doesn't really have a good reason as to why? It seems to me that you're probably going to decide to stay with this guy. I hope that works out for you and you're not back in here next year talking about how your boyfriend changed so much after he moved in with you, and about how you're sad that he doe…
/r/askFDS30/12/20 12:06 AM
3

Girl, go. Do not wait for this man. Whatever you sunk into the car, you need to be ready to walk away from. Do not stay living with a man in the hopes that you will get some of your investment back. That's just throwing good money after bad. Breaking up sucks. It's hard, it's exhausting, and when you're in the middle of it it feels like it will never end. But it always does end, and it always does feel good to wake up one morning and realize you are no longer in a situation that feels out of con…
/r/askFDS30/12/20 12:00 AM
3

You're going to look back on this one day and be so proud of how far you've come, because you're never going to let a guy deprioritize you again. It's going to be awesome!
/r/askFDS29/12/20 11:15 PM
15

Consider pursuing a restraining order. Google around for how to obtain a restraining order in your province or state and it's very likely there will be a government website that will walk you through the steps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 10:39 PM
7

No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter where he lives, he's too late. Here's a bit of tough love - it's going to seem harsh but it's also really important to hear. He had FOUR YEARS plus a year of covid. Now that there's some actual risk of losing you, all of a sudden he wants to make a big gesture and make you a priority? Suddenly, now that you're no longer interested in doing 100% of the effort to maintain the relationship, he thinks he's finally ready? Hmmm. That's convenient. How many more years …
/r/askFDS29/12/20 10:29 PM
8

You're making excuses for him. The pandemic has only been going on for one year, which means that he spent FOUR YEARS dragging his feet through life, letting you down, not even making an attempt to find middle ground with you. At this point, you'll feel bad for leaving, but you'll also feel bad for staying. You're going to settle for living a little tiny life with a man you're going to have to baby and coddle and drag along, who won't even do you the courtesy of moving closer to you where he mig…
/r/askFDS29/12/20 07:12 PM
21

It's hard to have friends who are still out there making up excuses for why men aren't taking the initiative. Just don't let them get in your head. Keep telling yourself, "if he wanted to, he would". Also, if a man is too scared to communicate with you because you might not be into him, then he's probably not ready to have an adult relationship anyway, so it's okay to just roll on with your life!
/r/askFDS29/12/20 03:33 PM
10

Yes, this is reason enough for you to leave. Also, it's really really important for you to know, for the future, that ANY reason you feel you need to leave, is the right reason to leave. Even if you feel like it seems petty. Even if you feel like things are mostly okay, but you still want out. Even if you don't have a reason you can put your finger on - if you want out of a relationship, that's okay - just wanting out is a perfectly good reason to get out. In this case, though - this relationshi…
/r/askFDS29/12/20 03:30 PM
3

It really is scary, and I'm glad you're okay!
/r/askFDS29/12/20 03:22 PM
49

I like that you have made a decision and are sticking to it - you definitely made the right choice, and I'm so glad you're staying strong! You should be SO proud of yourself for not dangling on the line, waiting for him to decide if and when he might want to reel you in. That's what self-respect and self-esteem look like! Go you! One thing though - at the point where you say that you knew things were going nowhere, that's the point where you should have just blocked and ghosted and moved on. I k…
/r/askFDS29/12/20 03:20 PM
20

I don't think I understand the question, but I'll take a stab at it. Are you asking if it's okay for a man to have double standards and treat you well but not give a shit about how women in porn are treated? I'm afraid I have bad news for you - if a man only values the safety and wellbeing of women he personally knows, then he doesn't see women as human beings. That's why it's easy for him to watch porn - it really doesn't matter to him if the women he's watching are trafficked or have been forc…
/r/askFDS29/12/20 02:58 PM
78

He's not a sweet amazing guy - he's a guy you slept with before vetting him properly, who lied to you at the very first opportunity, and only told the truth because he got caught. Have you read the handbook at all? You really need to ghost this guy and start with the handbook. You need to focus on yourself for a while instead of pursuing a relationship. You need to figure out why you would accept a liar into your life. Is it a self esteem thing - you don't think you deserve a truthful man who re…
/r/askFDS29/12/20 11:59 AM
34

I think you'll find the community divided on this. Many of us are looking for an HVM, which means we inherently believe that there are good and decent men out there, but you have to dig through a lot of dirt to find a diamond, so you have to keep yourself safe. Others feel like men are just dangerous and to be avoided as much as possible. It really comes down to what you're comfortable with. If you don't want to have a man in your life, that's totally okay! You deserve whatever happiness you env…
/r/askFDS29/12/20 02:13 AM
127

These are the guys who like to play "devil's advocate". No matter what rational normal thing you say, they'll respond with "but what about..." and push an opposing viewpoint even if they think you were right to begin with because they can't exist in a world without chaos they themselves have put out there. They might as well just get t-shirts that say "I argue for the sake of arguing because I'm not intelligent enough to carry on a normal conversation - I have to try to get you rattled so you wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 04:38 PM
103

That was essential reading. "He treats me like trash but I LoOoOooooVe him!" Okay, but he doesn't love you or he wouldn't treat you like trash. Why are you settling for a man who doesn't love you. Love yourself more! Get out!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 04:30 PM
21

Nobody can change anyone else - a person needs to WANT to change. This also means you can't save people from themselves, or keep them from engaging in destructive behaviors. At some point you need to consider whether it's worth it to keep beating her over the head or trying to control her life. Nobody learns to treat themselves with self respect because someone else nagged them well enough. Focus on yourself and live your best life. Maybe if she sees you doing that it will click into place for h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 12:02 PM
5

"Girls bouncing on trampolines!" Sir, that's some cutting edge media you have there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:21 PM
102

It kind of sounds to me like he's actually already pushing her, if she's saying that she has to hold onto the railings to keep from falling "accidentally". He's just hoping that she'll miss when grabbing at the railing, so he doesn't have to work up enough courage to push her any harder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:22 PM
28

I doubt that the guy typed the card himself though. That's something they do at the florist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 07:05 PM
3

The best thing I can think of is to start with mindfullness and meditation. I'm kind of no-nonsense and meditation never works for me they way it's "supposed" to, but it's self care to sit still and clear your mind and focus on your own feelings. Really, everything you do kind of needs to have a thread of mindful self-care running through it right now. Shopping for food - remember that you're buying fuel for your body, and that's self care. Keeping your place tidy - be mindful about the fact tha…
/r/askFDS16/12/20 06:06 PM
20

Seriously - rape porn has been out for DECADES and yet it somehow has not reduced the number of women and children who are raped on camera and off. It's not like rape porn is put there solving rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:26 PM
3

The advice is, open your phone and hit "block". Just do it. You don't need an interpretive dance or a sign from the heavens or anyone's permission - you just need to get it done. This is like brushing your teeth or combing your hair - blocking unhealthy relationships is self care. I don't even know why you're hesitating - you already know that you want to do this - there's literally nothing stopping you. Be your best self and do this for you! Just do it. Like now. Finish reading this sentence an…
/r/askFDS16/12/20 04:23 PM
49

This is where therapy might help you. Being stared at and catcalled and all that shit is EXHAUSTING and makes you feel like no more than a thing. It's dehumanizing, and makes us so sensitive to being looked at and looked over. The thing is, if you barely make eye contact with a man and it's enough to make you feel completely undressed, that's unhealthy. It's the first step on a long path that sees you living a hermit life at home in case you should encounter a man. You need to talk this out with…
/r/askFDS16/12/20 04:12 PM
1

Alternate headline "Man decides he's above the law and getting laid is more important than other people's safety, risks own life and other people's lives to get his dick wet." Frankly that's not even headline news, that's just a regular day in Jerk City.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:01 PM
5

Are you married, and is your husband an HVM? I ask because I don't even know why there was any talk about moving to a cheaper city if you're married to a man who supports you. Unless HE wants to move to the cheaper city? But no, you can't already be married or this whole conversation never would have taken place, because your husband would already have been taking care of the bills while you were in school. If you're not married, how can you rely on your current partner paying your way until you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 03:23 PM
6

I know it feels like criticism but it's not supposed to be. It's just that you shouldn't be even remotely ready to label someone HVM after knowing him so short of time. Also, 'treated me well' and 'paid for dinner' are the absolute bare minimum. You really need to reserve judgement and wait. Elon Musk is successful, but also an LVM. Jeff Bezos is successful but also an LVM. Successful or rich or kind for the length of a single date or any of those things do not automatically mean HVM. They don't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 12:43 AM
64

My guess is that this is a creepy dude LARPing as a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:54 PM
8

Seriously, this crazy need to label a man an HVM because he paid for a single dinner is painful to see. This isn't a sugar baby sub where all that matters is whether he paid for dinner he planned without complaint - that's literally the bare minimum of good behaviour. HVM isn't something that can be determined in a single month, much less a single date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:53 PM
62

While I don't have any issues with your mom's logic, I have to ask - are you currently in a relationship? If not, then you'll be paying a super high cost of living until you find a relationship you can count on - can you afford to live in the more expensive city for two years at minimum, more likely three or more? You have to find a guy, then take your time vetting him, then dating him, and you're obviously not going to move in with him until after the wedding. If you can't afford to live in the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:47 PM
11

Reminds me of that song by Tweet called Oops (Oh My) which is literally about a woman enjoying her reflection in the mirror. Warning, the song gets stuck in your head!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 12:41 AM
23

Not to be a downer but this person tagged here is a bit trashy for posting a Maya Angelou quote without crediting it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 10:54 PM
54

Not only that, but if you go into your preferences on reddit, you can turn off chats and PM's - if anyone has been sending me hate mail, I've never seen it because I no longer get messages from anyone but reddit's notification bots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 09:35 PM
55

I'm so glad you're already able to see the humor in it! You're awesome and this guy is...not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:07 AM
489

A haiku inspired by this post! You're a waste of time You are not even pretty Please touch my penis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:04 AM
22

You've inspired me to compose a haiku! Such a lucky girl You would not be my first choice But I guess you'll do And another one I love our friendship Just think how much fun you'll have Doing my laundry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:12 PM
75

I'm a Gen X'er and I approve this message. It's because we were raised on the cusp of "traditional women" versus "career women". Our moms worked to support the family and also did 100% of the housework because they were "having it all". We knew enough to know it was fucked up; we saw our moms exhausted and worn down, but we didn't have the tools to understand how to change it until we were already in our 20's and stuck in our own cycle. My misery should never be anyone else's misery though. Just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:23 PM
2

If you can afford it, try doing one of those food box services. I've tried several and just following the recipes and making the food they send has made me a way better cook. I am far better at putting together a fancy-looking but very simple meal now than I ever have been.
/r/askFDS09/12/20 02:45 PM
17

I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. I don't know if I have any advice that would be helpful to make you feel better, except that I know how you're feeling right now, and I promise that it is not always going to be like this. As women, we've kind of had it pounded into our heads that we need to have an emotional connection with a man, and that it's up to us to establish it and then do all the work to maintain it. It's a lie that we're told - we're the emotional ones so all the emotional lab…
/r/askFDS09/12/20 02:38 PM
35

They say they value a Betty, but when it comes right down to it, all they really want is a Veronica. And a bunch of side chicks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:07 PM
4

I blocked all of the rape out because I mostly watched for the clothes. Same with Mad Men - I wasn't watching for Don Draper, I was watching for the mid-century modern clothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:29 PM
5

He was so good as an actor in The Fall that I struggled to get through the Jadotville movie because I couldn't unsee him as that awful creepy sex killer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:27 PM
53

No matter how fast I walked, he was always three steps ahead of me. I could speed up to an almost run and he would stretch it out to keep ahead. I'd slow down to a meander and he'd shorten his pace just to stay in front of me. It was like walking a well trained dog, except without the reward of good honest companionship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:11 PM
15

Nothing is as disappointing as a hot, funny, interesting guy who suddenly, out of nowhere, reveals that he's dumber than a bag of rocks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:06 PM
15

@margo_party I can't stop laughing. I know this is absolutely awful, and I should be horrified but like... my brain cannot process the fact that instagram has removed pictures of Eric Andre's penis, but not of this hairy shirt-averse smoothbrain having hair-pulling intercourse with a life-sized sex doll. Edit LMAO - Just think of all the money this man saves on dates! "Yes, I'll have the Meat Skewer for one!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 05:53 PM
23

if I feel like I need to go looking for something, that's a sign that my gut is telling me I don't trust this man and I need to get out of there, whether I would have "found" something or not. Yeeep, this is me as well. If I feel like I need to snoop, then I just need to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:58 PM
3

Thank you for adding that - I had more or less blocked those things out of my brain. I was only thinking of the women in them who didn't take orders from the men in the shows, and completely blanked on the other aspects.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:05 PM
5

Oh that ship sailed last month!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:10 PM
5

You could also go with Outlander, wherein the protagonist's husband worships the ground she walks on and treats her like an equal rather than his servant. Not quite a romcom, but a solid show. Modern Family is lighthearted and all of the women on there live life mostly on their own terms, and are appreciated and loved by their partners. Dynasty (the reboot with Elizabeth Gillies) is trash in the absolute most fun way possible, and the main female characters are all in it for themselves. I'd qual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 01:47 PM
1

Why would you have to air your laundry? Because that's how the system works pretty much everywhere. Canada, the US, the UK, most parts of the EU, everywhere. If you end up in court, which you invariably will if your spouse doesn't want a divorce, everyone gets to have a say. It doesn't mean a court will force you to stay married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 09:24 PM
4

you having to justify why you want to leave Again, this isn't a Canadian thing. This happens in the US as well as many other countries. If the person you are trying to divorce does not want to divorce you, they can contest it, and then you have to go to court and give testimony to a judge about why you want a divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 09:17 PM
6

Are you from Canada? I am, and I feel like you've misinterpreted this. Canada certainly isn't perfect in any way whatsoever, but it's a lot easier to be a woman here than it is in many places in the world, including the US. In Canada, you can get spousal support even if you were never married to and never lived in the same house as the man you were dating. Article here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 09:10 PM
10

I don't know what HIS reaction was, but apparently the guy from this story cried a bit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:56 PM
7

Yep! If she had been just a bit more on the ball, it would have gone like this; Him: I meant a sexual one lol Her: Asked and answered. <block>
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:12 PM
40

You have different values. You can either compromise your values or he can compromise his - either way, one of you is a going to end up feeling like you've lost.
/r/askFDS01/12/20 12:53 AM
6

I actually had to finish reading his post to figure it out - it's definitely some dude larping as a woman. I commented based on the first two or three sentences, I didn't even get to the part where he claimed to have an OF his boyfriend was jealous of. That'll teach me to read the posts more carefully.
/r/askFDS26/11/20 10:15 PM
16

I have some tough love for you, so strap in. You're not as much of an HVW as you think you are. You'll get there, but right now, this whole post is screaming "I have a lot of work I need to do on myself". First, you labelled this guy an HVM even though you know he has LVM tendencies, which means you're making excuses for him, and that until recently you've been willing to overlook a bunch of bullshit because you hung a label on him before he earned it. Second, you let this guy treat you poorly f…
/r/askFDS26/11/20 05:26 PM
35

I just want to be super clear about something - there is NO SUCH THING as an HVM with LVM tendencies. Those things are mutually exclusive. If he has LVM tendencies, he's LVM. Maybe he has good qualities, but they don't override the fact that he's an LVM. An HVM might not be perfect, but none of his imperfections will include being an insecure man, crossing relationship boundaries, or making you feel crazy or insecure. Dump him immediately. Block and delete. He's doing this because he's and LVM a…
/r/askFDS26/11/20 01:06 PM
6

A couple of years ago I was hanging around in a beauty sub when someone posted pics of herself after a Sephora "Rouge Makeover". She was upset because they legit did a terrible job, and she was all "I can't believe that they made me look like a sad clown prostitute!" I made this account so I could comment a joke like I was offended - "Oh that's so hurtful, why would you say that?" but then got trapped in the troll filters and missed the opportunity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:17 AM
11

It's a phenomenon known as love-bombing, where a person seeks to bypass their targets defences by overwhelming them with a show of love and generosity. It's generally a short-lived tactic - once your shields are down, the shit behavior starts to leak in, but they hope to keep you distracted with gifts and love talk while they isolate you from your friends and family or whatever they plan to do. If this was the fourth month and they had some kind of established relationship, it would still be a l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:28 AM
53

Keep in mind that you do NOT know this guy. You feel that way, but that's not valid because all you know is what he's chosen to share and what others have shared without his consent. He is a perfect stranger with a very well curated public persona, so just keep that in mind.
/r/askFDS13/11/20 04:56 PM
151

When men set standards, they're called "preferences". When women set standards they're called "bitches".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 03:19 AM
7

Sorry I keep making this recommendation anytime someone asks, but Snow Tha Product is absolutely excellent. It's all about not taking any shit, not accepting crumbs, not competing with other women and keeping your focus on making a great life for yourself. Also Missy Elliot, Queen Latifah, Salt N Pepa, TLC, most of Lizzo's music.
/r/askFDS07/11/20 07:33 PM
148

SO MUCH YES! If a guy ever hits you with "You're to good for me" during a fight, that's your cue to politely thank him for letting you know and leaving immediately! He says this for one of three reasons; He genuinely means it - he's too broken to treat you as you deserve to be treated, and he needs therapy - that's not on you. Release this man from his torment and let him go get the help that he needs. He is trying to get you to stroke his ego, tell him he's amazing, get you to want to stay and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 07:28 PM
6

I don't know but I do know I really enjoy a "rugged metrosexual". He knows how to dress and isn't afraid of skincare or keeping his cuticles in order, but he looks like his job involves a chainsaw and/or a hardhat. Give me a sunscreen wearing lumberjack and I'm happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 11:18 PM
41

There are artists out there who aren't dripping with pickmeness or internalized misogyny. Snow Tha Product, Missy Elliot, Queen Latifah, Salt N Pepa, TLC, Janelle Monae are some great ones to start with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 11:03 PM
18

Oh I'm not advocating for feeling bad for her. He literally shamed her in public for being "very eager", shamed her so bad he had to publicly apologize, and yet here we are years later and no ring. I can't fathom why she didn't pack her shit and GTFO when the article came out and she saw how publicly dismissive he was of her feelings. She's beautiful and talented on her own, and has been living with him so long that they're common law in the UK and likely in California as well, so it's likely sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 02:46 PM
35

I MIGHT be convinced to buy him a coffee but I'll passive aggressively complain about it the whole time, but cover it with "just kidding haha" and then expect oral in the alley later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 02:28 PM
25

Oh no, it's so much worse - he did an interview where he said that he didn't believe in marriage and the interviewer asked how his girlfriend felt, and he said "oh she's very eager." He got roasted on the internet for it and he walked back his comments a bit, but still no ring years later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 02:23 PM
213

This is part of a tremendous cultural shift, though. I'm in my 40's and when I was dating in the 90's, dinner and a movie was the bog-standard first date. Or dinner and a comedy club. Or dinner and something, because they were using dinner to vet you. If you ordered lobster on the first date, you weren't worth taking out on a second date. If you ordered nothing but a side salad and talked about your weight the whole time, you were high maintenance. People stopped recommending movie dates in the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 02:18 PM
10

I wouldn't worry about it - the song's a banger and the overall message is take care of yourself first. It would be great if she would back away from the constant "I'm in competition with other women" themes because she's fucking awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 01:59 PM
29

I actually think that's a pretty pickme-song. I enjoy Iggy's music, but her lyrics are pretty much always about being chosen over some other women, or aimed AT other women telling them how they're beneath her. He be lookin at me, he not lookin at you, I don't mean to be rude, I'm a 10 you're a 2.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 01:56 PM
47

That kids whole expression is the best thing I've seen all week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 11:41 PM
23

I think you could just reach out and say "I recognize that you're really busy building up your career and I applaud that, but I'm not willing to wait on the sidelines until you have more time for me. You've got a lot of great qualities but we're just not a match." If he responds that he's disappointed but understands, just say thank you and that's it, no joking around, no trying to soften the blow, no 'lets keep in touch' or 'we can be friends'. If he responds with whining, block and delete.
/r/askFDS04/11/20 11:10 PM
4

Yeah - Interac would make this a little bit easier to track, thus sucking some of the fun out of the joke! I like the one I saw a couple of years ago where a girl deleted a guy's message history with his mom and then updated his mom's contact with her own name, then handed him back his phone and told him she liked to be flirted with. I am endlessly amused imagining some LV dude sending his mom a dick pic because he has no chill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 09:44 PM
4

I find it deeply satisfying whenever I hear that someone has already started the process of finding someone to talk to! It's so very healthy that you managed to take those first steps on your own, and really great that you're out trying to find other answers and get more perspective! It's just really important that you keep up this momentum. Don't let "confusion" bog you down. You have all the time in the world to figure out the whys and whens and hows, but for now, you really need to focus on y…
/r/askFDS04/11/20 09:32 PM
66

Take a complete break from sexual content on the internet, and sex in real life. Be celibate for a while and let your mind and body reset a bit. Talk to a therapist, not because you're broken or damaged, but because having a neutral person to talk to can help you walk through how you got where you are, and help give you tools to figure out where to go next. About the only real good to come out of the pandemic is that it's gotten easier and more affordable to get therapy online from the comfort o…
/r/askFDS04/11/20 08:45 PM
16

You're not wrong, but telling people to k*ll themselves is the epitome of LV behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 05:52 PM
12

The "when" of it all does not matter. Did he have this woman's permission to video the sex? Did he have this woman's permission to share that video? Unless you've spoken to her and you know for sure the answer is yes, then you need to assume that the answer is no. The "why" of it all also doesn't matter. What matters is whether or not you're willing to stay with and trust this man who you know for a fact respects women so little that he's willing to violate their privacy this way. You realize th…
/r/askFDS04/11/20 05:47 PM
1

Hey that's normal, and it's always good to listen up when your gut is telling you something isn't right! It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you! 😆😆 And it's okay to want something different than me, or have a different standard. Just because something isn't a deal-breaker for one woman doesn't mean everyone should think and feel the same!
/r/askFDS04/11/20 01:43 AM
2

Asking someone on a Tuesday if they want to go out on the Friday seems totally reasonable to me. I also think it's completely reasonable for him to want to bring you to an art exhibit that he has tickets for and that you have an interest in. Depending on how long you've been talking, it probably would have been a really hard for him to explain how he had a spare ticket for a sold out show without admitting that someone else canceled. I'm not saying that you're overreacting, because every single …
/r/askFDS04/11/20 01:28 AM
26

Frankly I feel like any guy who complains about FDS is just kind of telling on himself. "These bitches have standards, I don't like it!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 01:18 AM
28

I definitely agree, though I don't think men fear getting killed as much as they fear getting disrespected by other men, just because the second one happens so much more frequently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 01:17 AM
35

To start off, I would like to point out that there's nothing inherently wrong with liking to look attractive. There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting in the time and effort to look and feel your best. If it's become obsessive, though, and if you've started to experience negative feelings about yourself when you don't look your best, then definitely see a therapist. That's sort of the starting gate for body dysmorphia, which is definitely above reddit's pay grade.
/r/askFDS04/11/20 01:15 AM
51

Men treat each other terribly for speaking up for women, and it's currently actually getting worse. Basically, men don't want other men to treat them with the kind of disrespect we deal with daily, so they keep quiet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 12:41 AM
25

Good lord I do not understand OLD at all. Is "talking to" a euphemism for "sleeping with"? Because if not, I don't understand why talking to lots of people is a bad thing. Also, what answer did he realistically expect you to give? "No, I joined OLD and filled out my profile and then I was just sitting at home with deep-conditioner in my hair while I waited for you and only you to match with me!" What kind of sensitive manbaby expects every girl he matches with to be a digital virgin who was savi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 10:33 PM
32

Oh hell yeah, it's a tactic that only works on women who are already pretty beaten down or are trapped or insecure. I hope they all figure out that they're worthy of being happy, and don't need to be with a guy who goes out of his way to make them feel badly about themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 10:13 PM
4

Oh goodness. You definitely need to work on forgiving yourself for not getting out sooner. We're all programmed by society to make things nice and try our hardest and not give up and never be a quitter. Maybe it would help if you practiced shifting your perspective a little bit! Cons your old self stayed too long. Pros you got away! You packed your shit and headed out and did what you needed to do to put yourself first! That's deadly! you got help! You didn't just move away, you actively sought …
/r/askFDS03/11/20 09:34 PM
30

However generous feels right for your situation. Generosity isn't all about money, IMHO. From a financial standpoint, both men and women need to have a stable job and to have their debts under control and enough left over to live a life, but nobody should be going into debt to impress their partners with fancy gifts or anything. An HVM should be generous within his means, and I think that extends to time and effort, not just money. I've known HVM who were still in the building stage of their car…
/r/askFDS03/11/20 09:26 PM
27

On a first date? That's weird as hell, to be honest. What were you supposed to be doing before you went on that first date with that guy, just be sitting at home alone waiting for him to come into your life?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:19 PM
61

They feel that "dread" is strictly a woman's issue and that men never feel dread, and since they see women as stunted humans with the intellect of children, using dread is no different than training a dog - you're just doing it to help them be better animals. As for the banning - there's a weird subset of reddit that's very outraged that there might be a group of women who are learning to like themselves and trying to be their best self in order to attract a partner who treats them well. They se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:05 PM
32

Definitely not hardcore, and it's one of the very first things a person can easily try out on their partner, so it's often the first thing a manipulative person tries out on their own, and it generally comes as such a surprise to their partner that it often works, at least the first time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:58 PM
92

It's an umbrella term for a whole bunch of emotional manipulation tactics wherein the goal is to try to make your partner fear losing you. Basically it's anything they can do to instill a sense of dread in you - dread that they'll cheat or leave you. Sometimes they use triangulation (paying attention to other people while in your presence, so you can see that other people find them charming and the implication is that you're replaceable) but there are lots of other ways to do it. Withholding aff…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:54 PM
1

Nobody can ever change anyone else. People have to want to change, and lots of people, especially terrible selfish people, don't think they need to change because there's always some loser willing to eat whatever shit sandwich they're serving. The only person capable of change in this scenario is you. Focus on you. He isn't worth your thoughts. Maybe see if you can talk to a therapist to help you process this, because you're kind of still in here making excuses for this man who doesn't deserve t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:47 PM
12

Oh probably! Like that Luke guy from Married At First Sight a couple of seasons ago - that dude was the biggest gaslighting douchebag I'd seen on a non-Bravo show, and he's got a girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:45 PM
2

im the first girl he claimed he has actually liked in a decade Girl. Stop. He lied to you. He is lying to you. He will continue to lie to you. He will tell you whatever he needs to say in order to keep you hanging on a string in reserve. There is nothing confusing about this. You are confusing yourself because you refuse to accept that you're not this man's dream girl. You'd rather think you're the only girl he's ever loved, than believe that he's just another LVM. What he's doing is hurtful and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:40 PM
50

Seriously, the absolute audacity of this douchebag demanding that she hear him out (aka let me ramble on unchecked until I can see that you're ready to agree with me just to make me stop talking) and then trying to cut her off after calling her crazy. Like oooooooh dude, she was willing to listen to your WHOLE-ASS rant but you went and ruined it by busting out the "you're crazy" thing. Duuuude!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:35 PM
2

I know - it's normal to want to hang on to that last shred of hope that maybe he's a better person than he really is, but at the end of the day, he's just not, and I can see by your other comments in here that you know it. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but if it helps, once you block and delete and go completely no-contact you will be surprised at how good it feels to know that you were strong enough to make a good decision for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:31 PM
6

I just dont know why he kept calling etc. and making this false promises. I keep telling you why! Because you are providing him with entertainment. He keeps calling and making promises because that's how he keeps himself entertained. Block him, delete him, and move on. You're obviously charming and interesting enough for some fool to go out of his way to lie to you about future prospects - go find yourself someone who isn't a fool, or better yet, just spend some time learning how to love yoursel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:28 PM
7

Well, he likes that you entertain him when he would otherwise be bored. I am so sorry to say these words to you, but he does not like you the way you think he does. He's not afraid of getting closer - he's just genuinely not interested in you. You're a way for him to waste time. You're a video game with a sentient AI.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:23 PM
7

HVM are not inherently scared of commitment - that's a trope made up by LVM because it serves them to keep a woman's expectations low. A man who wants a relationship with you will not be scared to commit to you. A man who will not commit to you is not interested in a relationship with you. And frankly, even if it WERE fear of commitment, what would you propose to do about it - wait around for a decade while he tries to find a way out? Do therapy with him so he can get over his fear? Don't waste …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:19 PM
164

Oh yeah, other things "all men" say; Hey, it's just porn, at least I'm not actually out meeting girls. I could be doing worse! You're lucky I'm not the kind of guy who would ever punch a woman!! Some guy at work spit in this girl's coffee today - she's such a bitch she kind of has it coming but it was still pretty gross!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:16 PM
10

People who want you, make an effort to be with you. People who don't make an effort to be with you, don't want to be with you. I'm really sorry because I've been where you are, but the bottom line is that because you take his calls, talk for hours - you're a really convenient way for him to fill in time when he'd otherwise be sitting around bored, but when push comes to shove, he has better things to do with his time off. Block and delete and do not look back. Also, avoid long distance unless th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:13 PM
41

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAAAHHAHAH! Him: How dare you point out that we all put our whole lives on hold to compete for your attention! That's demeaning! You're CRAZY! Her: Bye, guy who put his whole life on hold to compete for my attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:10 PM
162

Men: Play the dread game! FDS: Okay! Men: NOT LIKE THAT! To be fair, I think the dread game is a time-waster all around - if you're purposefully trying to make your partner dread losing you, you've already lost. Make your partner want to be with you because you treat them incredibly well > the dread game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:04 PM
42

I...have never seen such a self-aware one in the wild before. I don't even know what to say!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:03 PM
51

Oh man, what a shitty way to have to learn! On the upside, you're still young and self aware and ready to level up, and he's 45 and such an awful human being that the only way he can get a date is if he raises one from childhood. Disclaimer - I am over 45 and still say, fuck that guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:59 PM
342

To clarify for the male lurkers whose "not all men" alarms are ringing. If you personally would never hurt or insult a woman, but you see a man degrade or demean a woman and keep silent and let it happen because you don't want other men to think less of you, you're "all men". If you like and respect women in general and you hear a guy say and do sexist things but let it slide because it's just words and it's not your problem, you're "all men". If you would never cheat on your own wife or girlfri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:54 PM
6

Yeah, there's no kind of romantic love in the world that would see me sponsoring a person into the country, and I'm pretty softhearted. But hell no. I feel bad that OP is going through this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:27 PM
8

It's the same way in Canada - if you marry and sponsor a foreign national you're obligated to support them financially for three years even if the marriage breaks up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:08 PM
14

At first, I didn't think I was seeing the same thing you were. She was married to a man who supported her and her children, didn't kick up a fuss when she wanted to live in her own home next door instead of under his roof, or require her to give up her career and ability to earn a living. Now that they're apart, she won't discuss why, but they apparently co-parent well together, and are still kind and civil to each other, and she's not dependent on him in any way. She's now in a relationship wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:43 PM
394

I'm glad you're getting out. DO talk to a lawyer but when you talk to them, also ask them about whether you should report your husband for marriage fraud. The thing is - this guy is an LVM so I would normally say "just get out and don't look back" but if he feels in any way that he can gain something from telling you he'll report you if you leave him, or anything like that, your lawyer needs to know in advance that you have this concern. If you believed that your marriage was legitimately a love…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:28 PM
37

Yeah I think a lot of these kinds of posts are men LARPing as women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:11 PM
8

You seem to be on the right path! Read the handbook, figure out what your standards are, and what your deal-breakers are, and just keep rolling on!
/r/askFDS03/11/20 02:35 AM
1

An HVM may or may not have a good relationship with his family. If his family is toxic and he's cut ties, that's a sign that he's taking care of himself and his mental health and that's excellent. If a man has a good relationship with his family, but his family treats his SO like crap and he allows it, doesn't stand up for her or intervene, he's not actually an HVM.
/r/askFDS03/11/20 02:33 AM
16

I absolutely remember all the people crying about how she was a golddigger, but she was an actual child, and he was her teacher!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 02:24 AM
6

Letting a guy talk until he feels like he's being interviewed is too much letting him talk. An HVM is going to want to learn about you, and if you're just sitting there barely participating in a two way convo, just asking question after question, he's going to either get suspicious or bored. The conversation has to flow back and forth, it's just that the things you share need to be carefully curated. Don't tell him about past trauma, don't tell him about sad things happening in your life. Don't …
/r/askFDS03/11/20 02:21 AM
42

Courtney Stodden was fully groomed and essentially sold to Doug Hutchinson by her parents. There's no other way a 16 year old girl ends up married to a 50 year old man. That's two groomed women supporting each other, which is the best possible outcome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:35 AM
13

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I don't know where you are, but this sounds like domestic abuse. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines Please find a way to get to safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:58 AM
9

I obviously don't ask that on a first date! Sorry, the post was about someone on a first date, so it seemed like you were saying that's a thing you do on first dates. In my experience, most LVM would never admit to crying even for manipulation purpose. FDS and all the relationship subs are full of stories about men emotionally manipulating their partner with tears and threats of suicide and whatnot. Lots of LVM like to engage in "the sensitive man" routine, in which he shows that he is very in t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 07:55 PM
14

This question is, IMHO, not important for two reasons. If you ask an LVM this question, you'll get whatever answer he thinks you want to hear, not the truth, so this question is absolutely not going to help you vet. Crying isn't some kind of proof of emotional maturity or mental health. Also, one guy I dated would answer your question by saying "I cried because my ex was really mean to me during a fight!" but what he won't include is the fact that the mean thing I was doing was packing my bag, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 07:31 PM
45

I don't mean to come across as mean, so I apologize in advance but there's no way to soften this. 1) Why are you hanging out in places where we all know LVM congregate. Where YOU know LVM congregate? Why are you wasting your time that way? 2) Why are you basing your entire view of men on the LVM you knowingly associated with? That's like saying "Oh I don't want to get dog crap on my shoes" but then actively looking for a pile to step in. 3) Why are you going around telling LVM that you're a chea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 07:10 PM
238

Translation: "It benefits me if you are critical of yourself so that I can be the only human being who compliments you, thereby making you value my opinion more than your own." The sheer audacity of a woman liking herself is too much for an LVM to deal with. I bet if you'd said "Oh these shoes make my feet look huge" he would have been right there with a compliment, but because you went and complimented yourself, it's now his job to cut you down so that later he can lift you back up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 05:45 PM
2

As you say, you don't need to be divorced to have a custody agreement in place. I don't understand why we are arguing about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 05:41 PM
3

It's not what the judge expects you to do, or what you are obligated to do, but if you don't do it, it can come back to haunt you. If your custody agreement says "let's keep our child's face off social media" but your ex is constantly posting pics of your kids without any complaint from you, then when you finally find out and say something, it's a 100% guarantee that this guy's lawyer will say "my client has been posting pictures like this for a year with no harm done to the child, and no compla…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 03:12 PM
3

Yes, that's the "silently" part of screenshotting silently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 12:00 PM
14

"I'm sorry your friend just died but can't you take a few minutes and look at this penis?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:59 AM
173

she still should have just ignored his BS and blocked him on social media. I agree with you in general, but I personally think the rules are a bit different if you have kids and a shitbag ex. Plenty of absolute dirtbags will do exactly what he's doing, but if it goes unchecked and you end up in court again, not knowing what's going on with your children on social media pushes the narrative that you aren't paying attention to your kids and are indeed an inactive parent. What she should be doing i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 12:18 AM
41

"felt bad." And then post it on reddit so other guys and pickmes could say "oh honey it's okay you just misread the signals a little bit but now you know for next time" and then send you the link to the post to say "see, this whole thing was your fault!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 09:13 PM
24

I don't want it Oh this is so accurate! Why do they think they're being so generous by giving us a choice, when they're just going to second-guess us or guilt us anyway? IF YOU DON'T WANT MY OPINION DON'T ASK FOR IT! If you had just said "hey I feel like pasta wanna go to x restaurant?" I would have just said yes because I'm an adult and I can always find something to eat wherever we go! But noooo, it's all "I want you to have choices and decide where we eat, BUT NOT LIKE THAT".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 09:08 PM
88

Oh. My. God. Men: "Please remind me that I need to do X! I can't do this by myself!" Also Men: "qUiT NAgGinG mE i'lL GeT iT dONe!" One of the top ten most annoying things a guy can do. Also on that list; Men: "Where do you want to eat?" Me: "I literally love the idea of all food except Mexican right now, so you choose!" Men: "WHy CAn woMEN NEVER JusT makE Up TheIr miND?!?" and Men: Babe can you do this thing for me? Me: Sure, but I'll need your help with 1% of it! Men: OH MY God nEVEr mINd i Mig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 07:33 PM
12

feel guilty for being so aggressive To be fair, that's because you were raised in a society that still pushes the idea that women exist to make the world nice, to put men at ease, make them feel flattered and comfortable. If Gone With The Wind were written about contemporary characters, Scarlett O'Hara would have been the exact same person - telling men what they like to hear, pandering to their egos to make them value her, and trying to portray herself as A Very Cool Girl. All that's changed ar…
/r/askFDS01/11/20 06:18 PM
14

I think it's great that you stopped to ask the question at all, but do re-read the handbook! And block this weirdo. I expect someone to check me out on social media to make sure I'm not catfishing him, but I also expect him to have some discretion and not start reaching out to me all over the place without any prior discussion.
/r/askFDS01/11/20 05:50 PM
42

He's leeching off you. If the genders in your situation were reversed, and this were posted anywhere else on Reddit, he'd be called a "golddigger". Move out. Move out as quickly as you can and go enjoy your 20's.
/r/askFDS01/11/20 05:16 PM
57

A - there's no such thing as too picky. Your standards are your standards and anyone who doesn't meet them isn't right for you. That may mean you spend more time alone but at least you won't be miserable. B - have you read the handbook at all, because this whole post sounds like "so this guy showed me every single red flag from the handbook but I want to know if you ladies think I should ignore them". Hint - no, nobody here is going to tell you to look past those red flags. C - Anyone who search…
/r/askFDS01/11/20 05:12 PM
90

And they won't do it for brownie points, they're doing it because it genuinely makes them happy to see you happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 04:42 PM
41

I find that when I take a few minutes to write down my perspectives on a guy, I'm far more inclined not to romanticize it later down the road. If I don't write it down, in a year I can look back and think "oh maybe he was really the one, I wonder what he's doing now!" If I wrote it down, and his name crosses my mind a year later, I have no trouble thinking "my god what a douche that guy was! I'm so glad I liked myself too much to waste more time on him!" It's cathartic to process it and put it o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 02:53 PM
21

Ohhhh yeah, this guy is ABSOLUTELY a Ted!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 02:49 PM
78

You already got a great answer to this, but I just wanted to add - Barb the Builder has often also invested a significant amount of capital in the relationship, based on his promises that he "never felt so loved and supported before". She worked to put him through med school or law school, or sacrificed her career to help him start a successful company which he then refers to as "my company" not "our company", or an unsuccessful company which he calls "one great idea but I have more!". Or financ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 02:47 PM
110

I recently saw a video somewhere of three guys in a mall wearing t-shirts that said "SIMP PATROL". These three guys were accosting any couples who seemed to be liking each other, and calling the guy a simp. It was such a huge self-own! Imagine being such a low value human being that you go out of your way to get t-shirts made so that you and your friends can go insult guys who actually have girlfriends who like them. Their t-shirts might as well have just said "Nobody I'm attracted to will date …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 08:16 PM
10

That guy: "I'm lonely and I'm such a nice guy, I don't know why I can't get or keep a girlfriend!" Also that guy: "cuntoid"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 11:46 PM
3

I know, right? I actually posted a series of three comments with lists of names and links but automod removed two of them, so I edited my comment to include screenshots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 01:30 PM
11

And now you're thinking well but those are extreme rare cases! "Not all men...just try saying no like a normal person!" But that circles back to the fact that a straight up "no" can literally get a woman killed. Not by YOU, which is good. But how is she able to know that? I guarantee that none of the women I listed thought that rejecting a man would end in their death, either. They didn't say "no" knowing that they would be killed. It was probably a surprise every time. So like... we don't have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 04:11 AM
9

Rejection killings are happening now - here's a selection from in 2019. In February a guy raped, beheaded, and skinned a four year old because her mother rejected him. https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/8443814/girl-4-raped-beheaded-skinned-revenge-mum-rejected-advances In June, a baby was shot in the head after the mom rejected a stranger. https://abcnews.go.com/amp/US/10-month-shot-head-mom-rejected-mans-advances/story?id=63928374 In July, Bianca Devins was murdered by a guy she rejected, and pics …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 04:04 AM
11

I apologize in advance for the series of comments I'm about to post, but I feel like it's important to give examples of why this is so critical. We get it, "not all men" but here's the thing you male lurkers need to hear - we can't possibly know if you're the guy who will hurt or kill us. None of the women who died from just saying no, saw it coming. The men who will kill us don't have a label on their foreheads. Since the beginning of time, women have been routinely killed for saying no explici…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 04:02 AM
7

Here's another great comment! I absolutely enjoyed their idea that FDS promotes promiscuity, which is pure fiction, but also the cackling covens we form, which is obviously real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 08:08 PM
6

I suspect it's because we're trying to give actual boys the benefit of the doubt that they might grow up to be good men. Boys are still growing and learning and changing and developing. Men who are immature have chosen at some point to stop learning, changing, and bettering themselves. Giving them the "boys" tag indicates that maybe there's a chance they might grow into someone worthwhile given enough time. I think that the guy in this video could live a thousand years but still be the kind of m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 07:46 PM
14

From a comment I made the other day; I love a lot of Lizzo's music - Truth Hurts and Good As Hell are both fantastic. Missy Elliot is great - Why I Still Love You is about a woman processing the fact that her man is a loser and even though she loves him she's ready to let go and live a great life without him. Queen Latifah is great. U.N.I.T.Y. is about demanding respect from men and calling out the shitty ones. TLC gave us "No Scrubs", so there's that. Frankly, I think one of THE best PoC female…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:50 PM
15

When he raised his voice and started clapping his hands on her I wanted her to get out of the car and just walk away. What a complete garbage fire of a human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:49 PM
1

Well, this reads like the Narcissists Prayer. "He isn't sexist, and if he says sexist things it's not a big deal and if it is, it's not worth calling out because others are worse."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:44 PM
33

I love a lot of Lizzo's music - Truth Hurts and Good As Hell are both fantastic. Missy Elliot is great - Why I Still Love You is about a woman processing the fact that her man is a loser and even though she loves him she's ready to let go and live a great life without him. Queen Latifah is great. U.N.I.T.Y. is about demanding respect from men and calling out the shitty ones. TLC gave us "No Scrubs", so there's that. Frankly, I think one of THE best PoC female rappers out there is Snow Tha Produc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 10:18 PM
21

Right leaning women are allowed wherever they want to go, but FDS is the wrong place to defend a man who really goes out of his way to demean women. This community is about women figuring out how to be treated with respect in a society where the deck is largely stacked against us, and you're in here defending a rich white guy who says that there isn't even a deck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:07 PM
17

No offense, but fuck that guy. The way he talked about how Megan Rapinoe's endorsement deals came to her because she is a lesbian (and therefore a political figure???) and not because she's at the top of her sport was in no way supportive of women. He's a privileged white man who constantly feels that his role is to mansplain things to women and tell them how they should feel. He feels it's his role in society to tell women how easy they have it, and how the deck is in no way stacked against us.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:53 PM
34

This reminds me of that guy who critiqued the WAP video and then said his doctor wife told him that wetness is a sign of poor health, thus outing himself as a man who has never made his wife wet, but then assured people that he got their kids tested to make sure they were his. That right there is an LVM telling on himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 01:43 PM
129

Any time I see an opening to ask about the last relationship he had, I'll throw it in there. It gives you a very early glimpse into what kind of guy he is, and the answers to that question will determine whether I bother asking him any other questions or just end the date. If it takes him no more than a casual question about his ex or his last serious relationship to get him started on a long meandering ramble about her and their relationship and their breakup and the trauma of it all, he's not …
/r/askFDS23/10/20 01:13 PM
15

Buy a vibrator. Go to town on yourself. After you've had a series of brain numbing orgasms, get up and make yourself a nice sandwich and watch whatever the fuck you want on netflix without some chowderhead giving you his opinions. Rinse and repeat all weekend. On Monday make an appointment with an online therapist who can talk to you about techniques to help you avoid self destructive behaviors in the future.
/r/askFDS23/10/20 01:39 AM
23

I. Die. The tags alone are absolutely hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 12:24 AM
4

Well, if I enjoy your company, I'll totally pay for the second round - that's what I do for all my FRIENDS. Besides, if you're funny and nice and worth buying drinks for, maybe you have a buddy who wants to go on grown-up dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 10:58 PM
92

I'm very sorry to say this, but I think you kind of know what happened here, so I'll try to rip the bandaid off quickly. Your husband needed a green card, and the fastest way to get one was to marry a citizen. The best way to marry a citizen, and to make it through all the hoops to prove a loving relationship, is to sweep a citizen off their feet, be exactly the kind of person they want to be with. You show them all the love in the world, establish all the answers to all the questions immigratio…
/r/askFDS22/10/20 01:11 PM
18

you indirectly want to know where you went wrong despite him being the shitty one YES, I couldn't put my finger on it, but THIS! OP you didn't do anything to make this man act like this. He's just a shitty man. You cannot take ANY responsibility for another person's awfulness. The only thing you did wrong was set a boundary (don't talk to other girls while we're together) then enforce it (broke up with him) and then cave on it (got back together with him) - the only thing you did wrong here was …
/r/askFDS21/10/20 07:47 PM
41

He came back because he failed to find someone he considered to be better. Then when he made sure you were still willing to take him back and put up with his shenanigans, he started chatting up other women, trying once more to find your replacement. Jealousy is a wasted emotion here. It's pretty likely that he's telling other women that he's single. He doesn't want to be with you. Never, ever, EVER talk to him again. If you want to "win" at this, block and delete and ignore forever. He's going t…
/r/askFDS21/10/20 07:41 PM
6

And THIS is why you should never date a guy who, very early on, tells you that his last ex, or last couple of exes, were psycho, crazy, unhinged, demented stalkers, unless he can show you a copy of the restraining order granted by a judge. Guys who label their exes "crazy" are usually looking for two things; Your sympathy and empathy. As a woman, you've probably actually had at least one crazy ex yourself, so you know how awful it is, so he thinks that telling you that he's in a terrible situati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:30 PM
3

You're light-years ahead of where I was when I was your age - you're going to have such a great life!
/r/askFDS21/10/20 02:07 PM
10

a man saying he loves you in 3 weeks is gaslighting you. Yes!! Either that, or he's emotionally unstable and/or immature - either of those is should be an automatic hard pass.
/r/askFDS21/10/20 02:09 AM
16

I'll never settle again. LEVEL UP ALERT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 12:25 AM
50

Your pattern is the same as most people's pattern, and it is the same as my pattern was when I was in my late teens and early 20's. My problem was me. I was the problem. So I say this with kindness and empathy - you are the problem. It's not that you're going for the wrong people, it's that you're not spending any actual time working on yourself, loving yourself, setting goals for yourself. You're not doing anything at all that would put a light on the right people, you're just taking whoever co…
/r/askFDS20/10/20 09:35 PM
69

I don't know why this group gets so much hate. It's 20% because there are legitimately people on here who loathe men and can't help but show it, and nobody likes to be hated. The other 80% of the hate comes from the fact that people REALLY don't fucking like it when women have standards, and especially standards that exclude them. Like women who feel like they're doing everything right romantically because they enjoy no-feelings sex and want you to know that they DO like being slapped around, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 08:58 PM
52

Seriously, the majority of us are hanging out in FDS because we know that good men exist, and we want them, not because we hate men. Wanting a good man to spend your life with is apparently the EXACT SAME THING as wishing the government issued women as sex slaves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:18 AM
28

UNRIPE MEN! LMAO!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 10:13 PM
28

Oh totally! Often the "choice" is either say yes and be cool and fun and allowed to participate in society, or say no and be labelled a prude and a loser and uncool, and be excoriated. It's a weird dichotomy - if you're religious and you want to take sex slowly, men treat you like a slightly silly child who doesn't know what she's missing, but is still worth being around because purity is so amazing. If you're just choosing to take things slow because you're not read to move ahead, you're just a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 09:12 PM
18

I'd move on, but for the future, instead of saying "I'll let you know when you give me more details" try saying "that sounds nice, I'm looking forward to hearing what you have planned for us!". The first one is "right" but it also lands in that gray area that says "I'm on the fence about seeing you again, but maybe I'll let you try again later". The second one says "I'm interested in a second date and expect you to lock it down".
/r/askFDS17/10/20 09:05 PM
160

I agree with your sentiment, but I really feel like we need to stop allowing adult men a pass because they're "just boys". Boys have it hard enough growing up to be good and decent men without us lumping every failure of a man into the "boys" category. Boys don't deserve that false equivalence any more than women do. Like when a guy is emotional, he's called a woman because everyone knows women are emotionally fucked up. When a man is immature he's not a boy, he's a loser. LVM are not boys, they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 08:17 PM
28

It's such a shame and a waste for a beautiful man to be such a weirdo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:40 PM
61

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news! He's a beautiful mess! He didn't like MeToo because it made it harder to approach women which means he genuinely can't tell the difference between approaching a woman and being a creep. "There's something wonderful about a man chasing a woman," he said. "There's a traditional approach to that, which is nice. I think a woman should be wooed and chased, but maybe I'm old-fashioned for thinking that." "It's very difficult to do that if there are certain rules in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:35 PM
65

This is great! All of this stuff is an insidious form of negging. Their goal is to put you in the frame of mind where they have a higher value, so they need you to prove that you can rise to their level. It's a technique they may be consciously or subconsciously using to knock you down a peg, to put you in the mindset where you feel like he's doubting your inherent goodness so you have an obligation to prove yourself to him. I'm going to quote a PUA website but not link to it because they don't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 06:44 PM
76

Henry Cavill is kind of a jerk so he doesn't have any business being picky either! 😆😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 06:30 PM
18

to be nobody - but - yourself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else--means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting -ee cummings "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 06:29 PM
93

You spent your whole life being subtly told that your entire value was between your legs - it's really no wonder you went the direction you did. Oh sure, there have been media campaigns about girls and how they can be whoever they want to be...if only they would wash themselves with this one brand of soap. About how they're strong and powerful and in charge...as long as they douche regularly and do everything in their power to hide their disgusting periods. About how women can be fierce bad bitc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 06:24 PM
7

Well, one thing you absolutely can't do is call yourself stupid! What you are, is growing. You're evolving and changing and upgrading, and you're at the starting line of the whole rest of your life. You dodged a bullet here - now that we've had the tough love, it's time to talk about what you did right! You did back away when you started to be clear about the fact that he wasn't the right guy. You did keep your wits about you enough not to take him home or have sex with him. You did make a post …
/r/askFDS17/10/20 05:29 PM
91

Closed legs are the most effective filter against men who actively hate women. If they realize you're not going to touch their weiner immediately, they'll mostly just call you a fat b*tch and slink back to the shadows to wait for the next woman who catches their attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:36 PM
13

At this stage, it doesn't really matter whether it was manipulation or rejection. The guy in this situation doesn't matter at all. The only person who matters here is you. Reading your post, one thing jumped out at me. This woman is in a rush. She is not paying attention to where she's going, she's just really in a rush to get there. Tough love incoming... Girl, where are you going in such a hurry? Do you even know? Because if you knew, and if you slowed down a bit, you might have been able to s…
/r/askFDS17/10/20 04:31 PM
2

Oh heck, don't even worry! Keto related weight loss is completely dependent on CICO anyway, which is a point lots of keto evangelists don't always talk about. They're all "BACON AND BUTTER WHEEEE!" It's no wonder it's a love it or hate it lifestyle!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:50 PM
60

talked about BDSM (oh my GOD would he not shut up about his exes!), the things he would do to them in the bedroom. What are you doing, woman? Let's set aside the pickme relapse because you're already beating yourself up about that. Let's talk about what prompted you to keep talking to a man who will very likely want to tie you up and or hit you, and then afterwards, tell you how you compared to his exes? You do realize he was very likely having phone sex with you, right? Like, pulling his pud wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 12:16 AM
13

I literally lol'ed in the comments on the 31(m)/20(f) mattress post because people are literally saying to this 31 year old man "OP just tell her to grow up" and it's taking ALL of my restraint not to reply "well since OP is essentially raising her from childhood, he's probably going to have to wait a few more years".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 10:02 PM
4

That's totally fair! I hope it works out for you and that dude fucks right off. Stay safe! Anyone who will call you five times consecutively at 2:30 am is mentally unbalanced in some way. Don't be afraid to get the cops involved if he comes pounding at your door - you do not owe anyone a pass for their shit behavior, and it's okay to make a scene if someone is being a creep.
/r/askFDS16/10/20 09:45 PM
12

Part of me wants to be all "why are you wasting your time trying to fix broken people" but that would be pretty hypocritical considering all the posts in R_A I've been commenting on recently, about 31 year old men complaining about the immature behavior of their 20 year old fiancees! 😂 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 09:42 PM
3

If he refuses to fly unless he can fly for free (or next to free) then I'm not sure why someone who loves to travel would date him. Even if he's not an LVM, they're not compatible in a really fundamental way, where he's willing to risk letting her holiday vacation get ruined due to a lack of willingness to commit to travel with her. He has the option to say "no, I don't want to travel then" but instead he's stringing her along with "maybe, let's see how it works out for free fare!" She kind of n…
/r/askFDS16/10/20 09:08 PM
54

Also likely an STD or two...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 08:50 PM
12

Keto's a mixed bag. I personally love everything about it, but I can absolutely see how other people might experience misery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 08:43 PM
8

You should be able to mute the notifications from him specifically without blocking his number - google around and double check, and test it with a friend or a family member before applying it to his number - as the other person said, you don't want to block or delete his nonsense because you might need his texts as proof. Also, have you talked to your landlord about this? If he's a genuinely good person, he's not going to like the idea that one of his tenants is getting harassed by someone else…
/r/askFDS16/10/20 08:34 PM
6

Oh yeah, and to make it extra awkward, Hunnam is actually British, but in the new Guy Ritchie film on Netflix, where he plays a British character, his accent is FULL CRINGE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 06:09 PM
10

Also, replying to my own comment like a loser, but I should add - FDS isn't just about men and women - there are plenty of women in FDS who are open about using FDS principles to help them build good relationships with their partners who are also women. FDS is, at it's core, about being the best person you can be so that you can foster a relationship with a person who is the best person they can be.
/r/askFDS15/10/20 06:10 PM
17

Men have always, always been encouraged to have standards for the women they partner up with. When a man has standards for the woman in his life, he is called determined, careful, self-aware, and cautious. Women, on the other hand, are not encouraged to have standards. People feel as though women owe society a huge debt - we must always look good, we must always make things nice, we must always date men even if we aren't attracted to them, because they're "nice guys". When a woman has standards …
/r/askFDS15/10/20 05:51 PM
34

Age gaps matter less and less as long as the youngest partner is in their mid-30's when the relationship starts, IMHO. Someone 35 has enough life experience to know who they are and what they want from life, so dating someone older than themselves isn't a huge worry because your older partner also probably already knows who they are and what they want. If you were out trying to date a guy in his mid 20's, I'd be horrified for him and for you. Someone in their 20's is still figuring their stuff o…
/r/askFDS15/10/20 04:31 PM
5

I couldn't agree more! This focus on money and how much he'll spend is honestly making us sound like a bunch of sugar baby wanna-be's. I get that FDS is about finding a man who is capable of and willing to provide, but buying big-ticket gifts early on means nothing. You have no idea how much credit card debt this guy has racked up in order to impress his first dates. You have no idea whether $500 on books even means anything to him at all. It's important for a guy to have his finances in order, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 04:47 PM
7

I personally will be needing to speak to any future partners ex for an honest review before allowing him into my life. That's... A very different choice than I would make. Any man who allows or encourages this is an LVM, as far as I'm concerned. I vet based on my own observations, not on the opinion of a woman I don't know. How would I even know if she were an HVW? There's literally no reason for her to be honest with you, and every reason for her to be dishonest, especially if they didn't part …
/r/askFDS14/10/20 12:16 AM
33

If a man is still talking about his ex, he isn't ready to date. If a woman is asking a man to tell her about his ex, she isn't ready to date. The only appropriate reason to discuss a man's ex is in the context of any children they share. Let's face it, a man isn't going to tell you an unbiased story about why his ex is his ex, so you can't learn anything of value from those discussions. Also, a HVW doesn't stalk a man's ex on social media. Work on yourself and build up some confidence before dat…
/r/askFDS13/10/20 12:03 PM
30

And of that 80%, about 50% know what theyre doing is horrible, but they would go along with it because they'd rather be liked by their friends than speak up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 12:51 AM
5

I hate that you're going through this. I've been where you are. Cut ties and focus on yourself for a while. You're going to be okay!
/r/askFDS11/10/20 04:35 PM
125

Was going to say thing - garbage collectors usually get PAID, and they generally don't skimp on soap because they're around grossness all day and don't want to wallow at home too. The idea that trades are somehow lower value is such crap. Skilled trades make good money, plus they know how to get stuff done around the house. Find one who treats you well and you're laughing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:14 AM
21

This is going to be hard to hear, so I'm sorry in advance. Cutting him off won't hurt him. He won't care. At most he'll find it annoying, or maybe inconvenient, to have to go find someone else willing to eat whatever shit sandwich he wants to feed her, but you're not hurting him. He doesn't care about you. What he cares about was that you stuck around and were easy to mess with. You were a fun target. Cutting him off isn't mean, because he'll just move on to someone else, and that's okay for you…
/r/askFDS11/10/20 01:42 AM
4

Holy shit yeah - I got downvoted to hades because some guy was complaining that his gf had admitted that she had a higher body count, and told him that she'd slept with someone else on her last vacation before he and she went exclusive. I said something like "well, you guys weren't exclusive and her body count doesn't matter" and guys were like "it's totally normal to obsess about all the other guys she's had sex with" and "DON'T STAY WITH THIS PROMISCUOUS HUSSY!" Amazing how different it is whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 09:50 PM
13

"I treat women like mobile fucktoys, but they won't date me, so obviously the problem is that I'm 5'10"! I mean, there's just no way it could be my unwashed ass, ill-fitting clothing, and belief that watching anime is a substitute for developing a real personality!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:02 PM
21

Oh but it's because the things they prefer, we can have surgery to get, so it's not like they're impossible. All we need to do is cut ourselves open and add things and remove things, and Bada Bing, we're fuckable! They can't just go out and get a personality implant - we don't yet have that technology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:32 PM
8

Or think that just letting water run over his ass is an acceptable substitute. No. Dude, you need to knock that thing with a washcloth AT LEAST until there are no more brown streaks left on the washcloth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 01:48 PM
7

If/when you run into him at some professional function, I assume he'll say something "jokingly" about your dating app interaction. If he does, just tell him "I actually don't have a height requirement, but I always find a man with an air of defeated negativity a bit offputting. I like men who like themselves."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 05:27 PM
7

Not only that, but most professional athletes are currently engaged in programs where they are required to bubble up due to COVID. If you aren't already in the bubble, getting a date is going to suck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 05:01 PM
20

This is healthy and realistic, and an excellent long term strategy. Hiding money is a low value move, imho, and in a divorce, a hidden bank account will still be part of the assets you're required to list. Why would you even marry a man you thought you had to hide income from? There's nothing wrong with a man knowing that a woman has a bank account of her own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:21 AM
232

Oh look, another work of fiction! Neckbeards and creative writing, name a more iconic duo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 08:53 PM
49

A work of pure fiction, I think!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:14 PM
14

Dear lord yes - just because you can get the bank to give you a massive mortgage based on both your incomes, doesn't mean you should max it out and spend every penny! The first time something breaks, you're fucked. "Oh shit, we have a $500K mortgage and no equity in our home but the furnace blew and it's December, guess we'll just live like popsicles!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:48 PM
38

I feel like it's a topic I've been seeing lots of posts about all over reddit. "We moved in together after four months and I agreed to pay 50% of the rent but also I ended up paying 100% of the groceries and do all of the housekeeping and everything else which wasn't so bad before I was seven months pregnant - how do I get him to see that this isn't fair?" Too late, love. You move out and move on, and seriously, consider never moving in with another person again until you're married. People CANN…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:29 PM
46

not to provide wife level care to a boyfriend This needs to be on a t-shirt. DO NOT PROVIDE WIFE LEVEL CARE TO A BOYFRIEND. I love men, seriously, but you need a man who can take care of himself completely, and has his shit together before you move in with him. He needs to be able to manage his food, his home, his clothes, his whole life, so that you're an addition to an already good situation, not someone coming in to rescue him from a disaster scenario. Every time I see a post on other subs th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:22 PM
67

If a man cannot afford a mortgage unless his girlfriend rents from him, he cannot afford a mortgage. If a man cannot afford a rental unless his girlfriend rents with him, he cannot afford a rental. The key here is "girlfriend". Plenty of people have roommates, and that's fine to an extent, but if your financial health depends on a romantic partner, that's a problem. That's how people get trapped, finding themselves paying for a place they have no stake in, but unable to move out if the relations…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:14 PM
160

we respect women who understand their roles and obey Aaaaaand, there it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:07 PM
28

Well, he literally admitted that he already knew you wouldn't be on board to go to his house, but he tried it anyway. It's a bit disrespectful. Like, "I'm pretty sure she's not going to go for this, but I'm going to ask for it anyway because I certainly can't be expected to "relax" anywhere in public, right?" He also suggested that you guys pick up food on the way to his house - one would think that if you can pick up food, you can probably also find an outdoor venue to eat it - he could have su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:59 PM
59

Oh look, another story about men telling on themselves. When the male head of an expedition basically says "these men are untrustworthy animals but hey, you should be fine as long as you wear jeans. Jesus. Can you imagine if this was a female head of an expedition, telling men that they were risking their safety coming on board unless they wore cut-resistant clothing at all times? "These ladies are kind of stabby, they like to poke the men with anything sharp they can get their hands on. It's no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:02 AM
23

I think if you do what the handbook says and vet him over the phone or facetime/skype before meeting in person, you've already solved the basic mysteries of "do we find each other to be acceptable looking and interesting enough to spend time together". At that point, if you've done that and he STILL only wants to do a low-commitment date, then it's not a date, you're still auditioning for the role of date, and by allowing that, you're allowing him to set the standard for whether or not your next…
/r/askFDS28/09/20 10:15 PM
32

OP, have you already had a phone call and also verified this guy's appearance, to confirm that he is who he says he is and isn't a catfisher, or 55 and showing you pics from when he was 35? If so, then yeah I agree with moxy's suggestion for wording, but I'd probably be more likely to simply decline and move on. This is because if he's already seen you and spoken to you on the phone, then you both already have some idea of whether you find each other interesting and/or attractive - if he's only …
/r/askFDS28/09/20 10:11 PM
49

My god yeah. Even the guy who PLAYED Don Draper doesn't enjoy being associated with Don Draper. How can anyone watch that show and not see a con man sunk so deep into self-loathing that he seeks out an endless stream of female validation?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:44 PM
51

HAHAHAHAHA "You want to show that you're mad? I'll show that I'm madder!" I love this woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:43 PM
151

"buT i waNt A trADItIoNal WiFE!" Except what they mean is "I want her to be traditional as in she does all the housework, child-rearing, and emotional labour, is only sexually available to me, but I'm going to go live out my Don Draper fantasy and put my dick in everything that moves, while not even bothering to be anything like Don Draper myself - not hot, not rich, not willing to give her an amicable divorce when she's ready to give up on my worthless self-hating ass, AND she has to contribute…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:34 PM
21

It's possible to trust again, but why rush? You can stay single as long as you want, and just focus on making yourself the best version of you it's possible to be. Focus on your own happiness, your own pleasure, your own friends and family. Maybe once you've spent that time on yourself, you'll decide being single is the best thing for you, or maybe you'll want someone else in your life, but you really shouldn't even be thinking of a new relationship when you're still in this frame of mind anyway…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:23 PM
18

I promise you, he’s not your friend. And you'll only find out when he drunk-texts you at 2pm on a Sunday, post-football, saying "I miss your hot lips" and you get dragged into an awkward convo of "Don't talk to me like that, you know I have a boyfriend." Ghost. Him.
/r/askFDS28/09/20 06:49 PM
38

Gosh yeah. I would have burst out laughing, dropped a 20 on the table, and walked out. The sheer audacity of picking a fight at the table and going over the receipt like that! She dodged a bullet. Dude can't afford to spend $20 even just for the sake of good manners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 08:34 PM
18

I never indicated that she should pursue him or initiate anything at all though, so that's kind of a stretch. OP says she acted cool and detached around him. If someone is pursuing you and you only ever act cool and detached and uninterested, you have to accept the idea that they might walk away. It's creepy and low value to pursue a woman who is uninterested. Who wants to hear a guy say "oh I feel like you don't like me enough, please reassure me!". If he gets the sense that she doesn't have an…
/r/askFDS26/09/20 08:30 PM
11

If you felt cool and detached, and acted cool and detached, it's possible he picked up on that though. Either way, you're probably awesome and it's his loss!
/r/askFDS26/09/20 08:17 PM
1

We definitely are interpreting "I'm sorry you miss me" differently! If she didn't have it figured out, I feel like she would have said "I miss you too", not essentially "it sucks to be you". It just goes to show what a huge difference there is in people's perceptions - two women read this same thing and hit two completely different conclusions, and somehow we're making it through this without calling each other names and being jerks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:49 PM
30

Seriously! If a guy can't even commit to calling it a date, he's a lost cause!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:58 PM
5

Oh wow, my take is so different! One of the most upvoted posts in the FDS sub this week was a video of a woman being snarky to a guy on the phone - he says he'll call her when he has time, she replies that's fine I'll be with other guys. I don't see this any different. She recognized she was being used, engaged in snarky banter, and told him to go fuck his hand. I thought it was hilarious! Obviously blocking him when he dropped off her radar would have been the best idea, but if a guy dropped ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:52 PM
2

Here's where I split from normal FDS doctrine. If a man is pursuing me and I just sit back and don't engage, then all I'm telling him is that I'm disinterested. Why would he pursue someone who isn't interested - that's an LVM trait, chasing someone who clearly doesn't want you. I don't pursue back, but I also don't just sit back forever and give him nothing to go on. It's not worth chasing this guy down - he's clearly done. But next time, at least consider the possibility that you might want to …
/r/askFDS26/09/20 05:44 PM
12

But like, what kind of jackass fully prepares to try to make you freak out, then acts surprised and freaks out when it works. There is an intelligence problem there. "I purposely tried so had to make her mad, but then she GOT mad - she's such a bitch! Now I'm mad!" Did this guy eat a lot of paint chips as a child?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:09 PM
12

Wait wait - he was trying to annoy you on purpose, and when you didn't freak out, HE got annoyed and freaked out? Bye loser!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:22 PM
50

Yes! All of this AND don't be so quick to use your words to talk yourself into the idea that your date is better than they are. I've been seeing so many posts from people saying "I met this guy online and have talked on the phone twice and gone one one date - he has HVM traits but..." You don't know him well enough to know if he has HVM traits. Don't start mentally tagging him as HVM because he paid for supper and didn't try to coerce you to sleep with him - that's the bare minimum. When you sta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:19 PM
5

"You're so high maintenance!" But then the women they look at ALSO wear makeup and sunscreen and do cute things with their hair. We are ALL high maintenance. All the women you check out, all the ones you talk to, all the ones you want to date. It's because we're maintaining ourselves - don't make it a bad thing. Just because you can't be bothered to shop for cargo shorts more than once a decade, and you wash your hair with the same shit you use to shampoo your engine doesn't mean that WE are the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 03:29 PM
32

Suggestions to ugly men? Take care of their hygiene, eat properly, exercise, dress nicely, comb/style your hair, and actually invest in a skin regime... Lurking men, this is what all the women you think are sexy do. They don't wake up perpetually perfect. They eat right, keep themselves clean, dress to flatter their bodies, take care of their skin. It's really the absolute least you should be doing, and not just to attract a woman, but because you like yourself and want to put your best foot for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 01:54 AM
9

"Men are only loved for what they can do." How precisely is that different from why women are loved? Every person who has experienced love, has been loved for what they do - this isn't something that is exclusive to men. Edit to add - It's not like women FORCED the role of provider on men. It's not like we haven't spent the last hundred and fifty years fighting to be allowed to become providers ourselves, to add to the family coffers. Men - if you are complaining about how women only see you as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:27 PM
14

I appreciate that you're open to hearing this. I'm finding it incredibly painful to hear all the people talking about how she put herself in that position by dating guys who were "bad guys" but frankly women should be able to date whoever they want without getting murdered by a random act of violence perpetrated by a third party who will go unpunished for his crimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 01:31 PM
49

Sorry for the bluntness but this is some hot garbage. She's dead because she was murdered in her own bed by police who were in the wrong place. Don't victim blame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 12:02 PM
279

The video was a man holding a tablet at a restaurant. He asked his date if she wanted to come over after, and she said no. So he clicked split tab. I would just like to point out the obvious here for the lurkers - when a guy does this, and splits a $60 or $80 bill because she won't go home with him, it means he thinks that she is worth $30 or $40, and he expects that if he spends $40, she owes him sex. You can't even get a decent hooker for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 01:08 AM
10

I started posting in there about ten years ago and got a lot of kindness and support. After they made it a default sub, it turned into a dumpster fire of NOT ALL MEN and LET'S DISCUSS HOW THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. Unsubbed it and filtered it with RES on my computer and Boost on my phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:35 PM
10

Wanting someone who doesn't want you feels so awful. I know how you're feeling, and I'm glad you're in a place where you're ready to take a step back and go another direction. It's absolutely going to get better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:20 PM
26

Maaaaan, this brings back the relationship advice post where the woman had experienced childhood sexual abuse and the man she was with kept bringing it up and asking for details and talking about it during sex. The sad part is, I'm pretty sure that over the years I've seen more than one post about that - women being asked for details about their sexual abuse or assault by their partners. It's kind of heartbreaking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:13 PM
52

The handbook and several posts in FDS have all said that one trait of an HVM is that he brings out the best in an HVW, so I'm going to go against the grain and say that sometimes the reverse is true, and that when a man says this, it's because he likes spending time with you and sees the value you add to his life. Unfortunately, this isn't one of those times. When he's blowing hot and cold and he only said this after you called him out for being all over the place, it's a coded message that says…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 01:32 AM
29

Anytime you get these kinds of thing on reddit, you should block. A lot of the surveys collect data about you like your IP address, your location, lots of other little things. It's worse if they're using Google Forms because then they're often also requiring you to sign into your google account. Don't reply to them, and don't click any links that say "to decline click here" just report them as spam and block the user.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:56 PM
2

In the book, it's essentially Scarlett's sexual awakening, and the next morning, she's thrilled that it happened. They were both absolutely awful, but in the book, it's made pretty clear that Rhett Butler was head over heels in love with Scarlett since very early on in the book. The relationship was toxic as hell, but not because Rhett was 100% the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 02:01 PM
340

Men: I want a girl who is fun and is pretty without makeup and who takes care of herself and is financially independent. Women: ok what do you bring to the table? Men: I am a chicken nugget on legs and I think you're an asshole for asking questions like that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:00 PM
42

This is it! HE KNOWS. THEY ALWAYS KNOW! Men are not stupid. They are not the hapless, clueless victims of other women. They aren't confused, they aren't misunderstanding you, they aren't too thick to understand why you're hurt or upset. They know you're upset, and they know precisely why you're upset, they just have had so much success playing the "innocent fool" card all their lives that playing it is always, ALWAYS their first instinct. If they can convince you to let it slide just this once, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:20 PM
126

I bet you 50 bucks that's that's a short guy LARPing as a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 09:01 PM
8

My God yes! "I don't think I'll be able to be interesting enough to maintain a two hour conversation, so let's do something that makes it easy for me to walk away when I start to see your eyes glaze over in boredom!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 01:34 PM
4

I'm actually shocked that she was voted NOT the asshole - that's a nice surprise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 12:37 AM
5

Themselves, of course!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:07 PM
41

I totally agree with this. McDonalds on a park bench, no. A well planned picnic he put thought and effort into, yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:51 AM
42

Ah yes, the "I misunderstood "HVM" to mean "rich" so that's all I'm looking for." First, no. Second, girl unless he poked you in the leg with his Maserati over the internet, you don't even actually know if he's rich.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:24 AM
80

Especially when they define "simp" as any guy who treats a woman like he values her. OH NO, NOT THE SIMPS! Whatever shall I do with all the affection and positivity and kindness? So horrible!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:21 AM
19

I cringe to recommend this but Outlander is a decent series if you can get into historical fiction. There are several HVM in it, and some that are kind of working their way there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:15 AM
29

I once dated a guy whose mother absolutely would have bought this. The first time I met her she knew I was coming over but she still chose to dress herself for dinner in a peignoir with her boobs out. I was 17 and she genuinely seemed to be flirting with her own son all through dinner. It was one of the most disturbing meet-the-parents nights I ever attended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:09 AM
5

I know right - if a guy is full of self loathing, it's just not possible to make them believe anything other than the worst of women. Groom yourself, keep your body and mouth clean, and develop a personality that isn't dripping with hatred, and you'll be surprised at how your fortunes might change. Even if doing that doesn't immediately result in a girlfriend, just liking yourself more is a total win.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:10 PM
20

It always amazes me that the takeaway guys seem to get from visiting here and then bitching about us on other subs is "they only want rich chads". Dude no. For sure I want a man who has a job and his own place, who is working to make sure he's always able to pay his own bills without my help, and can afford to have a social life with me, but HVM isn't just about his wallet. There are plenty of rich fucks out there who are just shitty humans all around. HVM is so much more than a guy's bank accou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:53 PM
37

YES! Like when a woman posts a story about how a guy friend is pushing her boundaries and trying to guilt her into sex, and someone replies with "you need to consider cutting that guy out of your life", it's an absolute guarantee that some man will chime in to say "NOT ALL MEN!" Yes, we know, NOT ALL MEN, but THIS guy clearly is like that. Imagine dismissing us all as rabid man haters, instead of what we really are - a bunch of women who love men so much that we're doing everything we can think …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:36 PM
17

They definitely expect you to give way for them - to shut up and stop talking and make room for their voice. Just continuing to talk kind of mindfucks them a little bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:32 PM
36

Combined with NOT ALL MEN! Dude - OP didn't say "all men are untrustworthy", she said "a man who pushes your boundaries this hard is untrustworthy". My guess is that OP struck a nerve. OF COURSE IT'S NOT ALL MEN! If it was all men, we wouldn't be spending so much effort to try to spend time with men who will treat us well - we know they're out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:23 PM
3

Makes a real mental picture out of "he had dinner with her parents" eh? :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 07:19 PM
16

He said that he can’t seem to understand why I’m upset about it I'm so sorry to tell you this, but he knows. HE KNOWS. He understands exactly why you're upset about this. He is in no way confused about this. The thing is, if he can get you to believe that he's just a gosh darned silly old fool who made a little teensy mistake out of sheer silly foolishness, you'll forgive him and let him slide. The next time, he'll just hide it better, or he'll come up with a better excuse. PS He probably didn't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 07:15 PM
3

If you want to "win", whatever winning means to you, don't reach out to him. You can't fix him or heal him, and nothing you say to him will hurt him enough to encourage him to fix himself, so any breath you waste is just putting wind into his sails, which is all he really ever wanted anyway. Nothing hurts a person as badly as actually getting the last word. When you have your say and they leave you on read forever - that's painful for someone who thrives off of their own awfulness and the drama …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 05:26 PM
15

Men are sexually compatible with a McChicken. 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 05:14 PM
1

I'm not even sure you want to end objectification Cool, so you're just going to be insulting. Well, I guess I have time in my schedule, let's do what men love the most - make a problem with men into a fight between two women. I just notice that you degraded those cultured as "utopian" I degraded my own heritage. Sure, Jan. "Nothing a woman do can impact this culture" I never said that. I never even implied it. I said the only solution is to educate men, because blaming women hasn't been working.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 04:36 PM
81

I posted below, but my strategy in meetings is to keep talking. I don't just stop talking and let them make their point - I make direct eye contact with the guy interrupting me and continue to speak. If that means we're both talking, then I guess we're just going to do that and waste everyone's time. Not my problem. I don't raise my voice, I don't roll my eyes or act annoyed, but I also don't hesitate or stop talking until after they stop talking, which means if I have to drag my point out for a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 03:06 PM
137

I absolutely co-sign this but my own approach is a little different. I just don't stop talking. If they interrupt me, I simply look them in the eye and continue speaking until I'm finished. If that means we're both talking at the same time, that's what we're doing. I just drag the point out and continue to make eye contact until they realize that I'm not going to back down and stop talking just because they suddenly started, and when they stop talking, I finish making my point and then go silent…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:18 PM
2

I see you are not willing to accept that when I said "statistically insignificant" I meant "so rare as to be the exception to the rule" but here we are. I'm mixed breed and only off the reservation for three generations, but I can tell you now that for as long as white men have been hanging around our lands, they've been paying our women for sex, to the point where society turns a blind eye when we disappear because we're probably all just drug addicted hookers. Again, the problem isn't the supp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:47 PM
3

It lowkey means that we can't fix men by educating women. The problem is not the supply, it's the demand. The problem is not that women are making themselves available, the problem is that men want them to. Your focus needs to be on men who buy sex, not women who sell it. It's absolutely going to get worse, but stigmatizing women for being hookers has never kept men from paying for sex. Society has tried that and it hasn't worked. Look where we are. You're literally in FDS, a community where an …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 12:35 PM
1

I don't hate the women there, I want to educate them... You can't fix men by educating women. You need to educate the men. Saying you can stop porn by educating women is like saying you can stop rape by educating women. The women aren't the problem. All they're doing is existing in the current system. Once more, we can't fix men by educating women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 12:19 PM
1

I'm sure there is some statistically insignificant utopian historical culture where prostitution did not exist, but it's certainly been around through all of recorded history. Pretending that it's some strange new development is a weird take, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 12:11 PM
232

Her: "It would be nice if you did a nice thing for me!" Him: "You're being ridiculous, having wants and needs of your own. Stupid girl. Nobody would do this for you." Some other guy: "I thought you might enjoy this nice thing." Him: "HOW DARE YOU ENJOY THINGS OF ANY KIND EVER UNLESS I GAVE THEM TO YOU WHICH I WOULD NEVER DO!!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:08 AM
10

Heck no - look at all of recorded history - it's always been this way. The only difference is that now women are talking about how infuriating it is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:36 PM
12

So much this!! Prostitution has been available since the beginning of time. It's a supply/demand business - if there were no demand there would be no supply. There always have been, and always will be, men who like to pay for sex. Those men are not the men you want to date anyway! Put it this way - how would you feel if the ONLY reason your man isn't paying for sex is because we have somehow magically abolished prostitution? Knowing that if he could find a hooker, he would totally bone her and p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:30 PM
23

Seriously - just imagine dating a man who uses the term 'simp'. Any guy who is derogatory towards the very idea of a man who treats his long term girlfriend well, isn't worth dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:18 PM
23

"Which one of you lucky bitches wants to do all the work to make me an HVM?" "My HVM boyfriend who is twice my age stops at my house on his way home everyday for sex but never takes me out or stays overnight. How do I make him respect me?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 11:16 PM
11

I think it's totally awesome that you were able to hit a hard pass on his lame attempt to draw you into a conversation about how you can heal his very soul!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 11:13 PM
7

The guy clearly has a lot to learn - his career isn't helping him learn it. He still needs an education in being a decent human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 11:02 PM
24

In all fairness there are actual billionaires out there who are also LVM. Career success means nothing at all if a man doesn't have the emotional maturity to match. Give me an Applebee's manager with a high EQ, good hygiene, a clean house, and no debt over a millionaire manbaby any day of the week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:57 PM
4

I don't think "all men are trash" is the strongest sentiment in here. I love men. I just don't have any tolerance for lazy manbabies who are looking for a mommy they can have sex with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:06 PM
36

Gotta keep her pinned down somehow! If she somehow gets the idea that he values her, she might do something drastic, like expect kindness and respect!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:26 PM
45

Oh no. Ohhhh girl no. "He's using me as a cum dumpster but I love him so much I'm going to keep putting out for him until he changes his mind. Plus I'll announce it on social media because if I hit him with the exact right blend of praise and shame, surely then he'll realize that I'm the girl for him!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:24 PM
6

Uhhh... I don't disagree with your overall idea, but comparing an actual domestic abuser with an HVM is a pretty silly comparison. Nothing any woman can do can make a wife beater into an HVM - using Russell as an example is basically saying that Taylor deserved her abuse. Nothing Taylor could have done would have made him treat her better. It's not our jobs to fix a broken man who thinks he is doing just fine. All we can do is survive. You'd be better off comparing Slade and Paul, or Slade and K…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 07:19 PM
23

But you said in another comment that he had a ton of red flags? You needed a pep talk when you were seeing and ignoring those red flags. I wanna be (and am) sympathetic, but also, don't be overlooking red flags - this is where you end up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 02:28 AM
16

You could turn this into a game where every time you ask a guy what he did wrong in his previous relationship, and he says some variation of "LOL HAHA I STUCK MY DICK IN CRAZY! NOT GONNA DO THAT AGAIN!" you adopt a cat. But then no, you'd end up being one of those crazy cat ladies with nine hundred cats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:34 PM
91

Level up, girl. You just said your ideal partner treated you like crap and let other people treat you like crap too. That's so far from ideal. The only person you let down is yourself, but the great news is that you get to practice a bit of self love and forgiveness and just move on. You're fine. You're going to be better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:09 AM
17

Seriously, he has a list of things you need to change - where is his list for himself, or does he think he's a finished product? If he has no list for himself, or has a list but it's low effort stuff like "I should floss more" then he thinks he's perfect, and he's training you to believe that any future issues you'll have are because YOU messed up and didn't change enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:40 PM
36

In the 90's they used to have actual classes on negging at bars. Buncha neckbeards would show up and pay some dude to tell them that if you make a hot girl feel less hot she might sleep with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 09:58 PM
4

Also check out her songs Waste of Time and No Lie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:35 PM
5

Your power lies in denying him all communication. You need to find fun in knowing that he's going to spend a few minutes very confused about how his normal backup booty call isn't responding to messages and won't answer calls, before moving to the next girl on the list. Don't be that girl who pretends that she has the upper hand because she got to have the last word to a man who doesn't give a rip about her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:39 PM
16

Romcoms teach men that if they keep trying we'll eventually love them for their persistence. They also teach us that we owe men kudos for trying really hard even when we've clearly told them that we don't want them to. Edit to add a link to a whole conversation in which I tried to make a case for just leaving people alone the first time they say no, and got "not all men"'d to death!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:28 PM
17

It's sort of like a girl who is the village idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 06:26 PM
26

I'm really new here, but I genuinely don't see the correlation with incels and FDS. Incels: No woman will date me, so I hate myself and also I hate those women, openly and visibly, and thus I have become the reason why no woman will date me. I am my own worst enemy. FDS: I've been told all of my life that my only value is between my legs, but I don't believe it. I'm going to work on myself so that I can support and sustain myself, and I'm going to be careful about the men I let into my life, wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:52 PM
10

Isn't most of this sub rehashing our mistakes so we can discuss and learn from them? Is that a thing we should no longer do? I'm new here so I'm not being snarky I'm legitimately asking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:23 PM
6

Suddenly, it's like "I'm being financially abused because all of a sudden I'm expected to bring in less than 100% of the household income AND ALSO parent our children and chip in on all the regular household duties!" Of course, the flip side of the coin isn't even mentioned - lots of women in the 70's and 80's weren't expected to bring home any income at all - they were expected to stay at home and be provided for, and their part of the marriage was keeping the home and raising the kids. Pro tip…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 04:44 PM
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