FDS is a godsend, I wish I had found it sooner or I never would have entered my last relationship. Or the one before that. I am a recovering pickmeisha.

The breakup section of the wiki is great. I would LOVE to hear experiences of how y’all levelled up after a shitty relationship.

For context 2 months ago I was blindsided by my ex and had to move out of his apartment. I’m still reeling from the addiction aspect of the relationship and want to fully move on - red flags I ignored and mistakes I made:

  • porn addiction. He convinced me it was under control but slipped up a couple of times. This would cause him to emotionally check out for 1-2 weeks, and “flatline” a month or two later.

  • Didn’t like going down on women, but would “do it if you didn’t get off”. “All my exes got off through penetration”

  • Moved into HIS apartment after 2 months when Covid hit. Luckily I still kept my lease open on the side.

  • thought he was high value since he had a high paying job and was leading a team of engineers. Told me he was a “people person” and felt he was emotionally intelligent. Also was very clean and responsible/in shape.

  • strange gaslighting. “What can I do to make you feel better?” I told him chocolate. He said okay. He never did get me chocolate. Next day I called him out and he said “well I never actually SAID I’d get you chocolate”

  • stopped initiating sex entirely and I’d have to ask him each time to wash his penis

  • he never communicated he needed any space (poor communicator in general) until like a pressure cooker he completely ended things

I am embarrassed of how I let his actions dictate my self worth, I WISH I had been the one to end things. now I’m ready to LEVEL UP!