How to be high-maintenance ?

MelatoninNightmares · 2021-03-11T16:17:39+00:00

My interpretation of that part of the handbook is that they're using the term "high-maintenance" the way men and pick-mes use it.

Here's an article written for men about "high maintenance women." If you translate it from Scrote to English, you'll see what a "high maintenance woman" actually is.

She's confident and has high self-esteem. She knows her worth.
She cares about her appearance and making good impressions on people, because she knows that, as a woman, that stuff matters a lot.
She's not a pick-me chick. She realizes that dick is an infinite resource, and any price to pay for a man is too high.
She expects a man to pull his own weight and put in some effort to show his girl how much he loves her. (This is the best one. At first, he's complaining about women who expect a man to go out of his way to make her happy - do nice things for her and buy her presents. He puts "buy her a latte" on the same level as "pay her bills and give her your credit card." But then that end bit, if he resists, he’ll likely face a whining/crying speech about how she isn’t being appreciated enough, how ‘she needs to do everything around here or it never gets done,’ and how ‘all she wants is for him to understand. Is that really too much to ask?’ shows the true scrote mindset. Women know exactly what those phrases means. It means a high-maintenance woman won't settle for being a bangmaid-slash-therapist.)
She expects you to care about her schedule and the things that matter to her. (This one is just scrote bullshit. I can guarantee the actual problem here is that he committed his girlfriend to plans without telling her until the last minute, or committed her to something she told him she didn't want to do, and this was her passive-aggressive response.)
She is selective about who she allows in her inner circle. She guards her inner world.
She has emotions and expects you to care about them. She's not just there to fulfill your emotional needs, she expects you to reciprocate. (I feel so bad for this dude's girlfriend.)
She has high standards and isn't shy about communicating what she wants and needs. And she expects you to respond.
This one is just scrote bullshit. Men don't think hot women are smart. Maybe you can interpret this as "A high-maintenance woman understands the etiquette of small talk and what is appropriate and inappropriate to discuss with people based on your level of intimacy. She doesn't talk at people just to show off how smart she is, the way men do."
She never offers to split or cover the bill. You can take this one at face value.
She prioritizes herself. She knows her thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter, and she acts like it. She won't tolerate being an afterthought in anyone's life. She draws boundaries and enforces them. (I really feel bad for this dude's girlfriend.)

EDIT: He later uses the phrase "strong-willed woman" as if it's a synonym for "high-maintenance woman." That's the real truth. A "high maintenance woman" has a strong will. She prioritizes herself, draws boundaries, and enforces them. She's not meek and timid and self-sacrificing. She expects other people to meet her at her level, and she will not lower herself to someone else's level just to make them feel better about themselves.

lovetarie · 2021-03-11T12:44:55+00:00

In my interpretation, it’s about having high standards for yourself and others, rather than becoming a completely different person or focusing on the superficial.

Treat your body right: exercise, eat well, drink enough water, have a skincare routine that works for you, don’t neglect your hair if it needs tlc, floss, make sure you’re keeping up with doctor and dentist appointments, always.
Aim for a career you are passionate about that allows you some savings. Find a job that fits your professional goals. Accept only professional behavior from colleagues and superiors.
Always strive to learn. Whether it’s a new technique for your hobby or a new hobby altogether. Read or listen to audiobooks about interesting topics. Learn or maintain a language. Listen to podcasts. Seek out a strong female mentor at work. The aim is to reject the idea that you have a stoping place for growth. There’s no such thing.
Mental health maintenance is never an option. It is essential. Try therapy if you haven’t already. Therapy helps you know yourself better. As a woman you’ve dealt with societal patriarchy. That shit is exhausting. Therapy can help you be your best, fullest, truest self. Self-help books are also useful. Read about things you struggle with, so that you can work on your issues. Listen to mental health podcasts. Keep a journal. The key here: “Know thyself, love thyself.”
On this same vein, be unapologetically self-loving. Treat yourself with care and demonstrate positive regard for yourself. Drop the self-criticism on your appearance if you haven’t already. Find things to love about yourself, inside and out. Never let anyone else criticize your appearance either. Always assess any other types of criticism from others against your most loving inner guidance before accepting that criticism as based in reality. Some criticism from others is absolutely a growth opportunity, so it’s important to be honest with yourself. Learn to know the difference between constructive feedback and destructive nitpicking.
Treat others with respect while centering your own self-worth as your compass. Don’t give people second chances to treat you poorly. Be curious and compassionate about the world. Invest heavily in good friendships with other strong women. Be thoughtful and intentional about who you allow into your inner circle. Assess others by who they allow into theirs.
Dress for yourself. In whatever makes you happy. Aim for quality. Don’t let others dictate what you put on your body either in word or in your head when you look in the mirror. Only you decide what suits you. Asking for outside feedback is great if you have trouble getting started or choosing something, but do it very sparingly.
Do everything you can to take care of yourself financially. Build your savings. Maintain a reasonable budget. Track your spending. Minimize or eliminate debt. Be sure to take advantage of the benefits offered at your job. Some women on FDS advocate for conservative, well-selected stocks. There are a million resources out there to help you.

This isn’t an exhaustive list but it’s what comes to mind. High maintenance to me means seeking and maintaining a quality of life in all areas so that you never settle for less than what you need or deserve. If someone comes into your life and they aren’t doing these things, they aren’t going to match you in standards or in energy and are simply not for you.

Title	How to be high-maintenance ?
Author	lovetarie
Upvotes	11
Comments	4
Date	March 11, 2021 12:15 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/m2ot3f/how_to_be_highmaintenance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/how-to-be-high-maintenance.792412 https://theredarchive.com/post/792412

Comments