I'd like to thank /u/thegreatestape for his post on applying MRP in an LDR because I'm in a similar position and am trying to tailor my MAP and the sidebar to my life.

Backstory: Active Duty USN, married 3 years. I was an alpha with classic oneitis for my wife and we entered into an LDR (both active duty in different locations), got her pregnant, married her to do the "right thing," spent first 1.5 years of marriage doing long-distance seeing eachother about once a month, then she got out, moved in with me, and we took an overseas assignment. The problems started just about as soon as we touched down in-country. I was a classic drunk captain trying to figure out how to be an actual full-time husband and father while battling depression and a severe sleep disorder. Eventually after a year of constant fighting we reached the point where we could barely stand to be in the same room with eachother and she left and cut off all contact saying she "wasn't the right wife for me."

My MAP So Far:

  1. Read WISNIFG, NMMNG, and am halfway through MMSL. I'm also working through the exercises in NMMNG.
  2. Finally getting counseling and therapy for my depression and sleep disorder. It's odd how much that's taught in therapy and counseling is red pill.
  3. I'm lifting 3 days a week and doing cardio twice a week. I'm about 5 weeks into a modified 5x5 program. Cleaned up my diet and am losing weight. Squat 255, Bench 225, Deadlift 265, Overhead Press 155.
  4. Been getting out more and taking on more social engagements and hobbies. Making use of MWR/USO trips as my work schedule allows and have gotten into church and bible study groups.
  5. Been watching everything Jordan Peterson has put out and have written out my plan to accomplish my life mission. Am now beginning to put it into practice for work and certain hobbies. I'd like to plug his personality assessment tool as well. It's excellent for helping to build your plan.

My question is, how best to adjust apply the dread levels when I don't have my wife around and she's not communicating with me? I'm having a hard time learning to recognize shit tests and comfort tests without a wife to practice on. I'm in a sea of women who either don't speak English (I've still got a lot of approach anxiety on this one) or are in the military (I have no desire to shit where I eat). Are there any good books or reading for getting over approach anxiety, especially foreign women? I'm pretty rusty with the dating game.

Also, how do I ramp up dread to the point where I can break through my wife's stonewalling and either she starts cooperating with the divorce process or we can talk about getting back together? Is dread even the right tactic here?

I appreciate all of your help.