-Learned of RP approximately 2 mos ago, 5’7”, 180, 16%BF
SQ: 315, BP: 200 (pending 2nd shoulder surgery), OHP: 155, ROW: do not know 1RM yet; will find out, DL: 325.
Reading: RM/TRP/MRP
Ordering: NMMNG
Low Test @ 349, free T at 12.6: started injections 2 weeks ago.
Background: I am 38, and a father of two (7/5). I have known my wife since high school and we’ve been married almost 9 years, together 13. I’m a special operations guy in the military, and she learned of my cheating last year a week into a deployment. A dude of the girl I had seen a few times was more tech savvy than I, and somehow traced my number to my wife’s FB account. He sent a message to her, etc...I stupidly fessed up, fulfilled my deployment obligation and came home. This started about a year ago.
She was/is a wreck when I got home, and things haven’t been the same as they were. Being programmed, I begged her not to leave, “I’ll do whatever you want”, on and on. She thinks the answer is counseling; I disagree to a point and still haven’t been.
I have been asleep at the helm and fucked up, I get it. I’m a guy that has been traditionally alpha and fell into the married life trap. Once I found out about TRP, I attempted to play like Dexter as opposed to Rambo. She knew something was different but couldn’t tell what. Getting laid has never been an issue, and we have traditionally had sex a lot. She now says, “I don’t want to fuck you because you cheated, but I want to fuck you because XYZ, but if I don’t, you’ll fuck someone else.” So I carry on and fuck her like a barbarian.
Since getting my T levels checked, I’ve made some changes. I realized that the beer in my area is too good, and have throttled way back. I have started working out more than I normally do, and switched up my program with my strength coach. I told her the other day that my next program will be more focused on physique v. Olympic lifts. She shut down for three days. No pussy, where as the night before that my cock was in her ass. Today, she either shit/comfort tested saying she is not comfortable with herself/body, and me saying that made her feel bad. For the most part I STFU and went back to finish the lawn.
I feel I have generally maintained frame with her before I even knew the concept of it, but slipped the last few years. I’m attempting slight levels of dread where able, but am not at the nuke stage. Today I responded with, “take me or leave me, those are your options.”
Question: What I am doing right or wrong? This is peculiar because of my admitted cheating, so it’s more difficult than just turning the tables because “her trust is gone.”
Disclaimer: I have read the sidebar, but my posting format may be messed up. I still haven’t memorized all the acronyms, etc...Have at me, and thanks.
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