Need some advice

matrixtospartanatLV · 2017-09-23T14:22:21+00:00

You are in a mess, aren't you?

Wife dating other men, two at a time. You're a beta bucks cuck pussy full of shit.

It will probably get worse before it may or may not get better.

First, it's up to you if you want to set a boundary that your wife can date other men. For me, MY wife does NOT date other men. Specifically, she does not see any men, outside of work, for ANY reason. Period.

Can she cheat? Yes. Can she lie to me? Yes. Has she? Yes. And she got her pass, because at the time I was a bigger pussy than you are. The hard boundary set since is, her next date will be the end of our marriage and I'll serve her divorce papers in less than 72 hours, and she fucking knows it.

Now, you are at the beginning, and like most who come here, YOU are fucked up, your WIFE is fucked up, and your MARRIAGE is fucked up.

Guess which one you can UNfuck?

Hint: it's the only one you actually HAVE control over.

Some here will tell you right now to next that cheating whore because she's already had a threesome with her two male coworkers.

Others will tell you trust, but verify without crossing the line of mateguarding.

Others will tell you DNGAF because you have no control over what she does so why give a shit anyway.

No matter what, your hamster is going to turn into fucking Godzilla in your mind and go on a rampage of destruction of biblical proportions creating havoc in every area of your life.

Stop it. Don't let that happen. It's a fucking gerbil. Don't let it go nuclear. Put the fuzzy little fucker in a cage with a wheel where it belongs, spray some WD-40 on the wheel and just ignore it as it quietly does its thing.

Now.

YOU.

You understand you are a betabucks pussy nice guy and.... nothing.

No other problems exist that can be fixed. Your body, your cool hobbies, your $85k/yr don't mean shit. They aren't the problem and ironically, they also aren't the answer.

Pay very close attention to the following:

Your MIND is fucked up. Your MASCULINITY is lacking. Your FRAME is weak, very weak.

You fix that shit by improving your MIND.

You improve your MIND with information by reading the sidebar right over there>>>>>>

FIRST, watch the movie, The Matrix. I don't care if you've seen it twice in the last five years. If you haven't seen it since you found MRP, you need to see it again. Why? Because it is the metaphorical reference point for more than half the shit that goes on around here.

NEXT, go to the sidebar, and read EVERYTHING.

Start with the GUIDE FOR BEGINNERS tab, find out which drunk Captain you are, follow that protocol.

NEXT, go to the WIKI and find the DREAD LEVELS article. Plug into it and add the reading assignments to your drunk Captain protocols.

The dread levels create the pacing metric for your work. Don't go faster than the timing recommended.

In 4-5 months you'll be at DL5, IF you have done the WORK (the reading). Watching your Reddit Age climb by the day, panic posting and reading posts does not count as work.

The rest will come from the reading. I just want you to get a solid start.

No more posting until you read this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4z84w5/posting_quality_guide_for_rmarriedredpill/

Lastly, and this is the HARDEST thing to do in the beginning, forget about the wife and marriage. YOU CAN'T fix them. Focus on you. Keep the hamster in the cage.

Don't go RAMBO, don't become an autistic fucking retard moron with the wife. But then, IF you actually DO the reading you won't have these problems.

STUDY THIS SHIT like your life and your future depends on it...

BECAUSE IT FUCKING DOES.

And don't panic and start hyperventilating over your shit.

You spent nearly 3 decades being a beta pussy piece of shit, bowing to the feminine imperative and serving the gynocracy. You aren't going to fix your shit in 3 weeks.

NINE FUCKING MONTHS OF WORK.

No whining and moaning along the way.

Now, pull your head out of HER ass, do not put it into yours, and

Get to work.

red-sfpplus · 2017-09-23T13:45:19+00:00

I see no mention of kids. At 29 the wise answer is to eject. You are not even a man yet and your wife is close if not past the wall.

If everything else you say is true you are her beta bucks. She is using you for resources and putting in minimal effort otherwise.

Likely because not everything you say is really true.

Regardless my advice would be if you have no kids then take control of BC and keep it that way. Smooth out the edges over the next 6-9 months and make sure you are the best man you can be.

If in 6-9 months you have made it thru the sidebar, operating at dread level 8, OYS and leading and your special snowflake isn't your first officer then eject like a mofo.

Last LPT: Never put a ring on a older woman again.

Edit: i reread your post after a cup of coffee and saw the crap about drinking and partying.

You are a cuck. Eject and get your shit in line. That is not how a wive who respects her husband behaves.

zeteomegaleio · 2017-09-23T22:25:54+00:00

You need to focus on yourself. Dive into all the material. Start doing things for you. Go have fun with your friends. Stop asking to join her and make her wonder when you're coming home instead.

Before this place, I'd likely say it was fine your wife went out with two male coworkers to drink. She should be able to be friends with guys, right?

After finding this place, and given the reason I found this place, I wouldn't be surprised if they were Eiffel Tower'ing her. I'd tell you to next her just because she even feels it is appropriate to go out drinking with two dudes, but you won't right now. Maybe you will when you catch her. Besides, this will be practice if nothing else.

Either way, you cannot focus on that or her. You need to put your head down and just focus on yourself. You said you want her to want you - you need to actually swallow the red pill. It's going to be more brutal than the work you need to put in transforming yourself.

None of your story is unique or special, even if you are just starting out. STFU, lift, read the sidebar. If you don't know the answer in the moment of a situation, SHUT THE FUCK UP. You're already not getting laid, so just go into monk mode for awhile. When you get pissed, keep a cool head in the moment as much as possible and go take it out on the iron. Eventually you will learn to not even have to dodge bullets but right now you are barely in the process of taking the pill and being flushed into the sewers. You have months of internal reconstructive surgery and downloading of new skills ahead of you. Go and get after it.

InChargeMan · 2017-09-23T22:38:54+00:00

You seem like a nice guy, it sounds like you are in good shape, have a good career, etc. You "have a lot going for you". But you lack the personality traits you can learn here.

A lot of the advice you will get is correct, try not to resist the process, embrace it.

DO NOT HAVE KIDS. Under any circumstance, period. 1 year no sex....Is as bad as sign as it comes. Seriously, if you get her pregnant, you deserve everything that comes to you. If you are just getting started with MRP then all of a sudden everything is great, don't fall for it. Did I mention no kids?

Your wife is not a sexually repressed devout religious zealot. She goes out partying till 2am. That is not a woman that doesn't have sex. I know it hurts to hear, but it is 99% sure that she has had sex with others. Understand the concept of branch swinging. She is holding on to you with one hand and reaching around for a better one. If she didn't have another branch she would be giving you at least duty sex. At this point she literally DNGAF about keeping you, but she figures why burn a bridge, she is out having fun AND has you to do the laundry and pay the bills at home.

Bury this marriage in your mind. It is gone. And that is OK. Come to peace with that, it will take some time. THIS marriage, the one you are currently in, is DEAD. Now, after at least a year, probably more, if you are able to shape yourself, and eventually your marriage into something that meets your needs and adds to your life, then by all means, continue to be married. That will be a NEW marriage, remember, the old one is gone. RIP. If after a year or two the marriage doesn't meet your needs, eject and find somebody younger and better.

As you move through this journey, imagine yourself as a giant oil tanker. Your momentum has been going for a long time in the wrong direction, it will take a long time to stop, and a long time to correct course. In the meantime your wife will be like a small dingy with an elastic rope. She has no power over you, but she will likely bounce all around in lots of directions. Your only concern is YOU. Don't let ANYTHING she does affect you. She will likely react when you start changing, DNGAF, sometimes good, sometimes bad, DNGAF. Don't get half way in, get a couple BJs and you think "Wow, this stuff really worked. Thanks Reddit!" then go back to your old ways. Her behavior will likely wax and wane, may be erratic. Oil tanker doesn't give a shit.

Remember the oil tanker analogy. When she starts giving you shit, crocadile tears, whatever, just imagine the oil tanker. Don't get emotional, don't cry like a bitch, don't get angry and yell, don't stomp around, just STFU and keep on course. Your marriage is already in the ground, all you can do now is to build yourself into someone who can have a good marriage. This time with your wife is a BLESSING, it is like your redshirt year. She will throw lots of shit at you, and IT DOESN'T MATTER. You will drop some passes, so what, marriage is dead, this is just a practice.

After you are at the level of somebody who can have a successful marriage, THEN you can take inventory and decide if your wife should be the one or if you want to find another. The fact that you are already married means nothing. Don't "settle" on her out of convenience. There is an ocean of women out there, and divorce without kids is EASY.

Good luck!

Westernhagen · 2017-09-23T15:19:27+00:00

We moved to a neighboring town... In retrospect, this was a bad move.

Don't feel too bad about it. This did not cause her behavior. She would be acting the same way if you'd stayed where you were.

I'm having trouble deciding if things like getting pissed that she's out late drinking with male coworkers is perceived as alpha or butthurt beta.

I am skeptical that alphas do not get hurt and angry if their women cheat. What they do about the problem and how they address it with the woman is the issue. As others have said, you need to set and enforce a boundary. Bad news: you are not in a place where she is likely to respect any boundary you set. That means you must prepare for the likelihood that you'll have to eject. But in any case, the course of action is the same: improve yourself.

Title	Need some advice
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	September 23, 2017 1:33 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/71yaep/need_some_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/need-some-advice.205395 https://theredarchive.com/post/205395

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