Radio Silence

rurpe · 2015-10-27T02:41:33+00:00

Logistics only. Ask about the kid, focus on the kid. When the topic moves elsewhere, bring it back or end it.

zo34 · 2015-10-27T03:00:25+00:00

Before you leave make it clear that you want updates on your child. State that you know communication is a hard thing when you're out of state, that you understand, and that because there is a child in the mix you'd like to be involved even at a distance. Leave very little room for negotiation, but prepared to make some (very few) concessions.

Perhaps arrange to video chat the child twice or three times a week. Or every night before bed. Whatever it is, get it and stick to it, even if all you want to do is sleep.

The_Litz · 2015-10-27T07:18:14+00:00

Same scenario as you. I recently went on a 2 week course in another city.

I received a total of 2 calls. First was about the Blueray player not working, what must she do, and the second one was what time I will be arriving home, she is stuck at work and wants to take the kid to the doctor.

Of course I was butthurt, but did not show it.

I just call to talk to the kids every second day when I am on trips. Other than that its logistics texts.

FearDearg2015 · 2015-10-27T06:50:50+00:00

I've seen this happen first hand. Sister in law and her son were staying with us for a few weeks during the year. I didn't want to go opening up a bag of snakes, but it is clear to me that their marriage is a mess. I could imagine either one of them posting on dead bedrooms claiming to be the HL partner with an LL spouse. Both of them are so passive aggressive to each other, it's really a mess.

Anyway, while they were here, they pretty much never called home to speak to him, but, I noticed too that he never called here to speak to his son. Sure, I get that he might not want to talk to her, but I know he wanted to speak to his son, and I get the feeling that it was his passive aggressive tactic to just not call so that he could later claim that she didn't call him with their son or some shit like that.

Point is, if YOU want to talk to your son, then it's up to YOU to make sure it happens. No point hamstering about how your wife has bad communication skills, or likes radio silence. Call home every night if you want. I'm sure you know their routine? If she's not at home, call her cell. "logistically", you are keeping contact with your child, so normal "logistics only" rules apply in that you want to keep the conversation about the child. No "do you miss me honey". If she asks whether you miss her, "agree and amplify" works well. "oh yeah, I miss you so much, do you know how hard it is to suck your own dick?", "sure I miss you, the women here just don't know how to press my buttons like you do"

Title	Radio Silence
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	5
Date	October 27, 2015 1:28 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3qd0vs/radio_silence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/radio-silence.207969 https://theredarchive.com/post/207969

Comments