1st Pickup, next move?

gentleViking · 2014-12-14T06:08:16+00:00

Nice work on getting the digits.

I usually call or text the next day. Typically when you text doesn't make or break the interaction but how well the connection was made in person. I'd text her back and keep it simple. "Hey, it was nice talking with you, let's get together next week." (for exampe) Then follow up in a day or two with a call or text, "Hey, if you're free (day) let's get coffee."

SkorchZang · 2014-12-14T12:10:55+00:00

Boils down to this, as the man, your job is handling three things:

Arrange whatever excuses you need, to get with her 1:1 to spend time, that's always your job. About once a week is always good.
Have fun at these get-togethers, laugh loads, touch each other when it feels good. That's all you need to focus on, meanwhile in the background, sexy tension will "automatically" build on its own between the two of you. Planning the logistics and everything to allow this to happen is your job.
Either at the end of the "date" (mandatory), or whenever it feels to you like the tension is at its peak, you always go for the kiss on the lips. Eventually this transmogrifies into hooking up with the girl. Going for it is your job too.

The end. Meet up, have fun, hook up. Meet up, have fun, hook up.... etc. etc. If you just handle these three, you can rinse-repeat every week and you're golden. As you can see, it may take some basic balls but doesn't take a genius or a lot of effort.

Relationship, where is this going, what-are-we, are we on a date-date or just friends, where do you stand & where does she stand, what do both of you want -- all these complicated things are all completely HER JOB. Let her do it, let her worry about it. If she tries to suck you into it, just be cheeky and tease her about it ("what do you mean, what are we?I thought it's obvious we're awesome future ex-lovers.") instead of resolving anything for the girl about where you stand or what you want. Not only do you get to chill out and completely ignore all that, it's actually very counterproductive to your goals if you do try to pay attention. Do any of them for the girl, and that messes up the all important polarity and sexy tension talked about before, since you're then acting as though you were a woman. Don't do that, act like a man & be cheery lawless, unattached and unconcerned about all that dollhouse stuff she will obsess over.

Beware of the common pitfall of overtexting. Unless she's the one initiating it, don't text her between dates at all. Let her wonder, but always be sweet when she does text, and set up a date (that's why she's texting about the weather, what movie she's watching, or what her doggy did - it all means "pls make a date with me, I want you"). So you set up an "extra" date when that happens, now it's twice a week... She gets the idea fast, "so I text him, and he is cool like that, gets the hint and sets up dates for us, this is awesome", lets things unfold perfectly at her pace and the girl's pace is the only pace that even matters.

The technicalities of how you text her flow easy from understanding some of the above. You don't need anything fancy, just "hey, what's up!" works perfect, if it smoothly and directly leads to "so yeah, I'm going to this place, gonna be wicked fun... you wanna tag along?" Of course she does... So bam, you just made the required excuse for the 1:1 get together... it doesn't need to be spelled out for her whether it's a date-date or you're just a fun dude who does this all the time, the less you spell out for her and ask her highness permission for, the better. Instantly get off the texting with "great, lookin forward to see you then.. I gotta run, bye!". Your 1/3 achievement is unlocked, got the the first point handled... we're rolling, rolling, rolling!

Title	1st Pickup, next move?
Author	promethius225
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	December 14, 2014 2:07 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2p847o/1st_pickup_next_move/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/1st-pickup-next-move.144431 https://theredarchive.com/post/144431

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