Over the past couple of months, I was going through a slump or rough patch, as I had no real purpose or drive. I wasn't doing what I wanted to do or passionate about.

I dabbled in typical red pill stuff such as entrepreneurship, and started a blog and YouTube channel. But, to be honest I was just kidding myself as I did not have the work ethic or drive to put out as much content as possible.

A couple of days ago, someone close to me just gave me the realisation that they knew what I was passionate just by having a 5 minute conversation with me , and was surprised why I haven't been doing it all these months.

The excuse of my lack of self belief and conviction in my ability, lack of balls is what was giving me this 'analysis paralysis' of not doing what I am passionate about which is Football (soccer).

I've decided to grow some balls and go after what I want and follow my life mission. Period. I've already contacted a number of clubs to join and get the show on the road.

I read a magazine interview with Cristiano Ronaldo, watched his youtube interviews, movie, and have just much more, respect and admiration for him in the way he talks about being so focused on his craft and always having the strong mental toughness and always having the desire to improve. This can be applied to self improvement and levelling up in life.

Also, the way he approaches his craft it's much more than just kicking a ball.

Strength training, conditioning, nutrition, Cardiovascular, psychological, technical, tactical, sleep, body language, communication - all of these aspects are what make him elite.

I've read up techniques that athletes like him and conor mcgregor use, and was just wondering how do you think they stay so focused and maintain tunnel vision, do be the best version of themselves.

Now, that I know what my purpose is and is something that I want to fulfill, how do I have a zen like state of mind to push on and go towards my goal - pun intended, regardless of what goes on the outside.

I'm already lifting, as I started a 90 day fitness journey back in March, almost approaching 60 days, and yes of course will continue to lift. I've also started running at 6am daily for 4.5 miles to build up endurance.

I was thinking in terms of building up mental toughness and frame, I should read these books - 48 laws of power, the art of war, how to win friends and influence people, no more Mr nice guy, Mastery.

Especially in such a mental enduring sport such as Football, and the shit tests I'm bound to encounter in a room full of testosterone, I should be building that mental toughness or mindset, that guys like conor and cristiano have.

Took a cold shower today, and I want to be doing this on a daily basis now. So in terms of just building focus, I'm building a good foundation, that can always be improved on.

But, I would say one of my biggest weakness which I need to improve is sexual transmutation, retention, urges, desires - whatever you want to call it.

I've stopped watching garbage for over a week now, and I've pretty much taken control of that front, but I still have urges of wanting to release, or just do the deed.

But as I am trying to fulfill my ambition, I do not want, with no hesitation a gf, or plates as I solely want to put as much of my energy into becoming a professional footballer.

Yet being a young male, and feeling testosterone pumping and surging when doing bench press or running my 'head' just longs for release. How do I keep it and my head in check, to just maintain and endure, the worthwhile journey.

There is the no sex for 5 years thing that Mike Tyson is famous for, but that was back then in the 80's (which I still applaud and tip my hat off to, cause that was probably a freaky time) but in this day and age of social media and thirst traps online and offline, how can I endure and just keep my sexual frustration at bay.

There was something about football Johnny on trp reddit and how he lost a contract as he's spiralling due to women, drugs etc. LeBron James, got caught out by a thirst trap on instagram.

But what astonishes me, is how someone like cristiano ronaldo, who could get any women he wants on a daily basis, seems to still have the hunger and desire for more success.

And yeah, yeah, before you talk about plates, let's assume that most of these chicks he's linked with are just some paparazzi stories, he just doesn't seem like he's out here getting it on, on a nightly basis as he's breaking records every week, it's ridiculous.

Probably, he gets it in on the off-season. Lol. So what are thoughts in terms of how to keep my eye on the prize and just stay consistent with hard work, and endure the journey whilst steering clear of major distractions?

Cheers.