Hello all- I seeking a little insight about my current relationship- Background: Me 39 M a little heavy average looking. Stable job decent pay own home. Several LTRs no marrage (most moved for work) ave libido Her: 38 runner-fit appearance about 7- Active duty AF. Well traveled (military), Divorced (marraige 14y to fellow AF). after marragie several relationships with other military/LawEnforce. She has a very strong libido

Question: She has several tattoos, one is descrete on her foot of a Cat with a clock pointing to 12:00 I foolishly asked what it was, and she indicated that was the time her and a BF (Special Ops apparently) would go down her everyday. She indicated she indicated she can "squirt" though I am skeptical of the phenomon and did so with this chap. She was on depoloyment at the time. I cannot quite figure out the timeline, whether she was married at the time. Clearly, this relationshop, or whatever, and consequent sexual relations was significant to get a tattoo of it permenently on her body. I wish it were a long time ago, but it was like 2 years ago.

Question: what should i make of this? I cannot help but feel that I am the settling option- Considering I am not at all like these previous folks (fit stereotypical "alpha" dont care for that term). Kinda like "eh he'll do" - stable available industrious (but not without my own faults). She constantly calls me "cute" it seems sincere, but with her previous relationships, it seems kinda like a child-like term of enderment. I hate this unknown- and the feeling of being "eh" - Any thoughts or interpretations? Thanks!