TRP,

This will be my first post. I have read the sidebar, stayed in the books, and embraced TRP. My situation is this:

M26 came home from 1 yr deployment to new base and divorce papers from F33 and her wonderful lawyer with a "reputation" in Ohio. Children are on the other side of the country. I want it to be known that the only reason I was married was for my kids (needed a care-taker and the obvious choice was mom). Yes I understand the flaw however, being sent away happens and did.

So fellow Redpillers, I have come home to America and promptly began to receive a proper divorce raping. I took my red pill when I learned that there needn't been any reason or proof of said reason for divorce and I never even got a chance to be with my kids again.

So gentlemen, I'm looking for advice on how to deal with this. Thankfully there are some legal things in place to prolong this legal process however, nothing to protect me from it eventually sealing. I know a government process when I see it and the courtroom is just another one.

Where I currently am is somewhere between the red and blue and unfortunately due to care of the children. This woman is my children's mother and evil for these actions but, my kids aren't ridden with poo and one has Autism and doing well. I fully understand that I believe I was married to a BPD woman. I'm unsure (no legal proof) but, let me explain the legal situation since that is what currently matters.

Of course any lawyers assistance (different legal advice) is welcome. As it stands I pay an entire paycheck (1/2 per month) to child support. Half of my pay goes to "child support" according to the Ohio State income model around 12%. Gentlemen, they dgaf if you have bills. But they will take government entitlements like your food and housing allowance. Also, I set up a new house for my kids and the mrs so I don't get that allowance. They don't care if you have deductions on your Leave and Earning Statement. Only income and you bet your ass they tried to use my overseas LES to base their model off of originally.

As far as rights to my children I have none. I fought for visitation with grandparents but, that is still through asking the mother for permission and no she doesn't have to agree.

I have three kids and their is a larger vehicle with which to carry multiple persons involved. I call it the space shuttle. I'm obligated as spousal support to pay for it. I tried to sell the thing because she and my children live with her parents and own somewhere around 10 vehicles. (It's grandpa's thing. I began to notice the similar parenting structure and lack of care for male caretaking. He likes to "escape".) This was countered with I can sell the car but, pay 400$ in spousal support for a new car since that's my current payment. Guys the idea was to lower the $ spent so I can afford plane tickets to see my kids on the 30 (MAX) days of leave I can spend with my kids per year. All logic in the courts was lost to me at this point.

Spousal support is indefinite. Yes even when it's done. Yes it becomes hers. And yes there was a restraining order placed on it since it's used for "the kids".

Finally I must pay all insurance until I die. Car, life, dental, etc.

But, gentlemen I had a talk with the mother before I left. Here is where things get interesting. I allowed the emotional side to arise through making her comfortable. Mind you I'm emotionally stable and firmly red pill. Nothing phases me at this point and I see the manipulation for what it is. Plain as day but, never noticed before.

What I gathered:

  1. Chad is involved somewhere and according to my hint it was Cleveland. I don't care but, its more grounds for divorce than incompatibility or my "alcoholism" for sure. Also on my side.

  2. She's "scared" incorporating child support as space shuttle service will be used against her if she travels to Cleveland to see her "girlfriend Balognia (name changed/real)". Hi Chad. Get dicked down and room with your girlfriend. Also, traveling is certainly in the future with the child support. Awesome.

  3. She has had 3 jobs since serving me papers. I wonder where that money went since it wasn't on the income paperwork.

  4. She tried placing the blame on me again for being gone. Remember, military. And was proud that she "forced me to decide between myself and the kids".

  5. She's uprooting the kids anyway to find a new home with the income. This was why I wasn't allowed to bring them to me. The "stable environment for autism" means best interest stays away from me.

The conversation ended politely here.

So, TRP, now that you understand my state of matters... I'd like your advice. Legally, I've gathered that I can do next to nothing. I don't live there and my impact is virtually 0. I do have an attorney and I saw him in action. Nothing wrong but, I also saw the other one. Again, I've become familiar with the law and don't see this going anywhere. Correct me though if I'm wrong.

Personally, I get 30 days of leave a year. I don't get out anytime soon and I'm certainly not moving. Say hello to your newest deadbeat. I don't have all of those days (court appearances anyone?). So I've had them stripped from me and their mother trying to manipulate me into "deciding between me and them". Since I expected to come home and finally tuck my kids into bed again... that one cut deep. That's leave and all my $ left (eating less than 5$ a day for a year predictably and no hobbies except the free gym). I do call every day but Autism is a bitch. I'm at a point where putting me first is what I finally do. It makes me better for them. But, I'm battling the use of what's left of my $ for plane tickets and hotel time just to ask permission to see my kids. I've done it twice now and feel weak and used both times. That versus doing something for myself like visiting a friend or having a hobby aside from hiking. The way I see it, she selfishly kept them there and used my kids as manipulation (consciously or not) where they could be here and she can do whatever she wants. It's all out there now. Let the comments flow.

Thank you all for your time.